Yeah the new group is called Team Skull.
What?
That sounds like something an edgy fifth grader would name his dodgeball team.
I don't know where they find these people. They just grab some kids off a street corner and give 'em matching hats.
Every criminal organization since Rocket's been a disgrace. We had structure, style, simplicity.
Steal Pokemon, make a profit. Simple as that.
And then we get Magma and Aqua. I mean fine, creating new land gives you something to sell in a roundabout way,
but Team Aqua wanted to make more water? What?! Who does that benefit?!
Almost makes Team Galactic seem reasonable.
Don't get me started on them, alright? We go from one team re-enacting the plot of Superman Returns, to another trying to alter the fabric of reality!
New rule! You prioritize hiring people who are named after planets, you shouldn't be manipulatin' space-time!
How did everything get so complicated and more childish at the same time? Team Plasma is the only other group who just steals things anymore!
They're also a bunch of hippy activists that wear berets. Except during their Medieval Times phase.
But then what do you expect out of a group whose leader thinks he can talk to Pokemon? And decided the letter "N" was a fine name.
Who does that leave us with? Team Flare?! They look like they just jumped out of a k-pop video!
I wouldn't be surprised if their "better world" was just everyone wearing tight red suits and ridiculous sunglasses.
Could I get a Lum Berry mojito please?
Hello. Whats with the R's?
Where were you in the 90's? We're Team Rocket!
Oh right, I've heard of you guys, you're like the Poke'mafia or something...
Damn straight we were!
And then you got beat by a ten year old? Right? Ten?
*Battle Music* Okay! That's how you wanna do this? Let's do it then, right here, right now!
*Battle Music* Okay! Easy old timer, I don't want to stress out your Rattata.
*Battle Music* That's what I thought you little twerp! Bet you'd run away from Zubats.
*sigh* *grunt* You got any Pokemon on you?
Just the Rattata.
Ahh who are we kidding. Team Rocket is just as bad as all the others, we specialize in stealing Pokemon, so why don't we have any good ones?
Hey! We genetically engineered the most powerful Pokemon anyone has ever seen.
Yeah, that went well. It escaped immediately, then our entire organization collapsed when our Italian mob boss was beaten by a homeless kid.
Forget all the superbeings or the police, we couldn't edge our way past an edgey fifth graders dodgeball team!
*door bell rings* Sup Rockets! How's unemployment? *chuckles*
Fantastic! We still make more money in one day than you punks will your entire lives!
Pf! No! No, we're makin' bank old man! Makin' bank. You don't know.
-You don't know! -You don't even know. -You don't know! -Yeah, what he said, you don't kno-
You DON'T KNOW!
We were living the high life before you were ever born. You couldn't even afford the snacks we eat.
-Not higher than us, we can buy whatever we want! -Whatever we want! -Whatever we want!
-All the snacks! -All of 'em.
Is that so?
'Cause this is a fresh Slowpoke tail. It costs more than you can carry in your baggy pockets.
Please grandpa, I eat those every day, for breakfast. Money's no thing. Here, you keep the card, I don't care. That's how we roll. What!
-What! -What! -What! -What! -What! -What!
*doorbell rings*
Still got it! *high five* Woo!
Ta-da.
*Outro Music* Hey everybody, thanks for watching, we shot this video at a restaurant called Fire In The Hole, they're a bar slash pizza joint.
*Outro Music* Smells amazing.
*Outro Music* Just a great combination of things, really. Umm, if you live near or are passing through Round Rock, you should check them out, they're on East Main Street.
*Outro Music* Umm, got a big sign, Fire In The Hole, They're really nice, and let us film here a couple of days here actually, just for this entire sketch.
*Outro Music* We were being totally obnoxious, and they just rolled with it, it was great.
*Outro Music* -Yeah, we were probably driving business away. -You should be good though, don't be us. *chuckles*
*Outro Music* But yeah, if you come by, let 'em know that uh Door Monster sent you, probably won't get you a discount or anything, but they'll be happy to hear it.