What To Do When A Girl Looks At You [0:00:00]
Today, I’m sharing with you a seven-step process to go from eye contact to getting
her phone number in five minutes.
Are you ready, gents?
Let’s do it.
[Music] Step one, make solid eye contact.
Step two, make sure to smile and interact.
Now, all this happens in the first five to fifteen seconds.
So, let’s talk about the power of eye contact.
For millions of years in human evolution before we could even speak, we were using our eyes
to send signals, hey, I’d like to get to know you better.
Let’s get close.
Seriously, eye contact between human beings is so powerful that it’s been written about
in stories, in poems.
You’ve seen it actually start wars and some cultures have even worked to suppress it.
So, let’s come back to our time in history and ask the question, what rates as powerful
strong eye contact?
Eye contact that’s signaling I’m interested in you.
The answer in western culture is two to three seconds.
Now, notice I said western culture, in some parts of the world, it’s going to be less,
other parts of the world, it may be even more.
So, two to three seconds, that seems pretty simple, but a lot of guys have an issue with
this because whenever they make eye contact with a woman, guess what?
They look down or they look away.
Now, I get it because this was me.
I was incredibly shy growing up, very difficult to make eye contact.
The only way to get over this is to practice.
And, don’t practice just by going to the bar and trying to make eye contact with women,
how about you go to the mall and actually just make eye contact with anyone.
When you practice making eye contacts with everyone it becomes very easy to make eye
contact with that woman across the bar.
So, you made the eye contact, now, let’s talk about the smile.
Guys, you don’t need to overdo this, don’t give her the whole Joker smile.
[Laughs] And, guys, it needs to be a natural smile.
People can pick up, it’s called a smize and that is actually where you smile with
your eyes as well.
So, you get the smile gets big, all of a sudden your eyes get smaller.
People pick up on this.
When you give that smile, it’s brief.
We’re talking half second, maybe a full second here.
And if she keeps looking at you, something magical should happen.
She should smile back.
And it’s actually not magical, it’s just a natural human response.
When we see somebody smiling at us, we naturally want to smile back.
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So now, the next step in the process is to turn your body towards her and use open body
language.
Again, we’re only fifteen to thirty seconds into the interaction, but you want to clearly
show that you’re interested.
You can’t yell across the bar, I guess you could, but that don’t do that.
What you want to do though is show the signal, hey, I am facing you.
I am not a threat.
I’m interested now and coming your way.
So, don’t lean up against the wall looking at her like this.
You got the arms crossed, you’re facing in a different direction.
You do not look approachable and you don’t look like you’re going to approach her.
Well, let me go ahead and cite a 2004 study coming out of the Journal of Evolution of
Human Behavior.
They talked about how the signals that we send are more important than actually how
we’re dressing.
Now, I’m not saying dress like a slob.
No, style is important, but pay attention to that body language.
Practice sending the right signals.
You want to send that signal that you’ve got high status.
You do that by opening up, taking up a little bit more room by engaging with the people
around you especially other men for you guys to jest with each other, pat each other on
the back.
This signals to her, oh, this guys is accepted.
Now, this next tip, this one is really short.
We’re talking the second eye contact because as soon as you make eye contact with two seconds,
you’re counting down, 3, 2, 1, and you’re up because it’s time to approach.
So now, we’re in the next tip.
We are approaching, we’re walking towards her.
Well, congratulations, most guys never go this far.
And what you need to ask yourself is what is the worst that could happen.
The worst case is she’s just not going to be interested.
She’s going to be married, she’s going to have a boyfriend, she’s going to have
a reason not to talk with you.
[0:05:08] Okay, you can accept that, but on the other
hand, if you never approach her, you’re going to live with that feeling thinking,
man, what if she was the one?
The point is, do not over think this, guys.
You’re walking over her, you’re smiling, and you’re introducing yourself.
It’s that simple.
Next up, let’s get that conversation going.
So, what to say?
Here are a few ideas.
Compliment her on something other than her looks.
Now, when you compliment somebody, you oftentimes are going to be in their good graces, unless
they’ve got defenses up.
They realized, hey, we’re in an environment in which everyone’s hitting on everyone
and they don’t really mean those compliments.
But, you can get around this by complimenting something else.
So, compliment her purse, compliment her watch, compliment her outfit.
Find something that is unique that talks about her personality and compliment her on it.
Bring up a shared interest.
You may wonder how do I know anything about her.
Well, you’re at a sports bar, you are watching a football game.
Everyone’s watching this game and all of a sudden you realized, we’ve got a common
interest.
Ask her for her honest opinion.
Maybe you’re at a wedding together, you don’t know her, you’re like, you know,
what do you really think of this wedding?
You know it’s a little bit odd, they have this interesting Star Wars theme, what do
you really think about this.
All of a sudden you’re asking her for her honest opinion and she gets to talk about
this.
And, by the way, my opinion of a Star Wars wedding, freaking awesome.
And don’t be afraid to be a little bit silly.
Let’s say you’re at the grocery store, you’ve made the eye contact, you’re starting
to talk with her and ask her that serious question which apple is better, I need to
know the red delicious or the Granny Smith?
The fate of the world is in your hands.
Now, at this point you need to keep the conversation going and what you want to do is ask open-ended
questions.
You want her to be talking.
You don’t want to get yes/no responses.
So, some quick examples of open-ended questions: What does the song remind you of?
Have you lived in the city for a long time?
What do you think about it?
Most people are pretty polite, but you should be able to pick up does she actually want
to keep talking with me or does she want to run away.
So, how to tell if she really likes you?
First up, how smooth and how quickly is she talking.
This information was gleamed in an MIT study on speed dating.
They found this was the number one indicator.
In addition, does she laugh at your jokes, does she mirror your body language, does she
have open body language, does she maintain eye contact, and actually does she initiate
touching you.
Individually, these could just be innocent gestures, but if you get a combination of
them, this is a great sign.
And by the way, you’ve been on the clock, it’s a minute five and guess what?
It’s time to close the deal or not.
If you are interested in following up with her, you want to take note during this conversation
of the high point, the point in which you’re really connecting with her, this is the point
that, hey, I want to be able to stay in touch, can I get you number?
Guess what?
You pull your phone out, you’ve got it ready, she enters her digits her contact information
right in your phone.
And, if she decides not to give you her number, okay, then move on.
Guess what?
You got in a great round of practice and congratulations.
Now, what to do next?
Check out this video right here, guys, ten ways to be attractive proven by science.
I had a lot of fun with this one, so go check it out.
[0:08:09] End of Audio