- In today's video,
I'm sharing six red flags in dating a man
that you cannot overlook.
I'm Crystal from The School of Manifesting Love,
the premier love manifestation and dating program for women.
I share content on understanding men and the masculine,
dating as a high-value woman, and manifesting love,
so be sure to subscribe to the channel
and hit the bell so that you don't miss anything.
I hear women talking about dating deal-breakers
and red flags all the time,
and I wanted to just cover six of the red flags
that are deal-breakers
that really need to be treated as red stoplights
where you don't go any further.
The first one that I wanna talk about
is someone who has a quick and constant temper.
This isn't to say that you can never get frazzled,
that you can never get mad,
or that someone who does occasionally get upset about things
is definitely a problem.
What I'm saying is that if you're getting to know someone
and every time you see him,
he loses his temper about something,
that's a red flag.
You are seeing a part of this person's character.
You're seeing a regular part
of how he interacts with the world.
This is a very, very early warning sign
that you have to heed.
So that's the first one.
The second red flag that needs to be a deal-breaker
is someone who's inconsistent with his word,
someone who does not follow through on what he says.
This is a really big one that I feel like a lot of women
are willing to overlook for some reason,
but you have to think about it like this.
One of the cornerstones of a loving relationship,
one of the only ways
you're gonna have a successful partnership,
is if there is trust between you and the other person.
And someone who doesn't do what he says he's going to do
over and over again,
there's no way of building trust with someone.
This needs to be something
that stays at the top of your mind
when you're vetting someone while dating.
Does he do what he says he's going to do?
Does he follow through with his word?
Is it the norm for him to do what he says,
and it's only occasional
that he can't follow through or he doesn't show up?
Or is that sort of something you're dealing with regularly?
The third red flag that I want you to look out for
is if someone says, "I don't want a relationship"
or "I'm not over my ex"
or "I'm just looking for something casual."
There are many times
where you wanna give a man's actions more weight
than his words.
Many, many times.
This is not one of those times.
If a man is saying to you,
"I don't wanna be in a relationship,"
what he's really saying
is not that he's never going to be in a relationship.
And that's what women sometimes interpret it as.
He's not ready for a relationship right now,
so maybe if I stick it out, he will be ready,
and then I'll be the one he chooses.
No, he's saying
that he's not ready for a relationship right now with you.
And even if he's ready for a relationship in the future,
it's probably still not gonna be with you.
Don't wait around
for a man who says he doesn't want a relationship.
If he says that he just wants something casual,
take him at his word.
Now, is it possible that someone ever changes their mind?
Yeah, it happens,
so I don't want people writing in to me being like,
"Oh, our relationship started out
"and he said he didn't wanna be with me."
Don't use that as something to go after.
Don't look to be the exception.
Follow the rule so that you can more easily
call in the relationship you want.
Yeah, it's possible that you stick it out long enough
and you finagle your way in somehow,
but why would you want that?
There is a man out there who's gonna value you
and cherish you and see you
for all of the glorious being that you are,
so don't settle for less than that
by trying to manipulate your way in with someone
who doesn't want a relationship with you.
The fourth red flag that you wanna look out for
is if his exes are all crazy,
if every time you're talking to him
about someone from his past, he's saying,
"Oh, she's crazy, she's crazy, this crazy thing my ex did."
If all of his exes are crazy,
you have to remember that first of all,
he's attracting all these crazy women,
so when you guys break up,
you're gonna be another one of those crazy bitches.
The other thing you have to keep in mind
is that there's never one side to a story.
There's multiple sides.
So if all these women are going crazy,
there's a good chance that he's doing something
to make them all crazy, and in a couple of months
where things start to cool off between you,
you'll be the next one that he's making crazy.
The other big problem with this
is that when someone is putting all of their breakups
on their ex, that's someone who has a low level of awareness
and someone who's very much willing
to abdicate responsibility in their relationship.
And you don't want that.
That is the guy that you're gonna be with
who's saying, "Well, that's not my fault.
"I can't control how you feel.
"I can't do this or that."
Now, there is some truth
about him not being able to control how you feel.
We're always responsible for our own feelings.
However, everyone's behaviors
are going to have consequences,
logical consequences that will follow,
and if you are with someone
who's never willing to accept the consequences
of his actions, it's a really, really bad sign,
and it's something that's gonna continue.
That shows a pattern of behavior.
It's gonna lead to misery for you.
The fifth red flag that I want you to be aware of
is if someone comes on too hard and too fast.
Now, sometimes this is referred to as love bombing.
That's what they call it
when a narcissist is trying to attract someone new.
It's called love bombing in that situation.
Not everyone who does this is a narcissist, though.
I even referred to it as being a microwave man.
They heat up really fast, and they cool off fast.
There are circumstances where two people will meet
and they're just very aligned
and it will work out well for them.
So I'm not saying that you have to dismiss a relationship
just because he's coming on hard and fast,
but I am saying keep both feet on the floor.
You don't wanna be in a place
where you're so desperate for love and attention
that you're just overlooking the fact
that yeah, he's giving you lots of affection
and it feels really good,
but also he's doing other things that aren't good
or he's saying things that don't make you feel good.
Often, red flags are present
from the beginning of the relationship,
so you have to keep your eyes open.
If someone is coming on really, really hard
and telling you how amazing you are
and that they can see a future with you,
you have to understand
that this is just an image that he's creating of you.
He doesn't really know you yet,
just like you don't know him yet,
so don't put too much stock into it.
Don't give into the good feelings from the compliments
or from the gifts or from the time and attention.
You don't wanna be so desperate for love
that you're just overlooking things
that could be a really big problem.
The sixth red flag that I want you to be aware of
is someone who is overly charming,
someone who never missteps,
who never says the wrong thing,
who could charm the socks off of a tree.
You wanna stay really, really present
to something like that.
When someone is overly charming,
it draws us in, obviously,
because it's fun being around someone who's gregarious
and fun and makes jokes and has a lot to say.
But often, someone who is extremely charming like that,
the reason they're so charming
is because they're spending a lot of their time and energy
cultivating a persona.
They want to be perceived in a particular way,
and so they're putting all of their time
and energy and effort into making sure that they come across
as the most charming, lovable, amazing person ever.
Now, when someone is like this, though,
that means they're gonna have a lower level of energy
to devote to another person,
and obviously, if we're talking about this on a spectrum,
on the one side of the spectrum,
you have someone who are a narcissist,
who have this persona and they have no empathy.
But even without someone actually being a narcissist,
they can have this high level of charm
where they're focused on their own personality
and they don't have sensitivity to you
or to any other people for that matter.
That's not someone you're gonna be able
to create a successful, happy, healthy,
loving, committed relationship with.
I wanna hear from you.
Tell me in the comments, what are some of the red flags
that you know that you have to look out for?
The last point that I wanna make about all of this
is that the red flags that you're looking out for
is part of dating as a high-value woman.
That's a part of my overall 6-Step Magnetism Formula
so that you can manifest love fast,
but if you'd like to have the complete formula
which, of course, I recommend, take my free masterclass.
In this masterclass,
I walk through all six parts of the Magnetism Formula.
It's extremely valuable.
I'm also sharing some of the common pitfalls
as well as the steps you can take
to actually implement that in your life.
So sign up for the free masterclass
so you get the whole formula.
If you enjoyed this video, and I really hope that you did,
please let me know by giving it a like,
subscribing to the channel,
and sharing it with your friends,
and I'll see you in the next video.