- Your energy and the patterns you experience in your life,
you could say your vibration, didn't start with you.
And unless you're aware
of what I share with you in this video
and I'm gonna share you how your vibration
did not start with you,
how you inherited the vibration of your parents,
your environment growing up
and the only thing you need to do to break free of it.
I'm going to share with you what to do in this episode.
This is something that's completely profoundly
changed my life.
And I'm super excited to share it
because I think it's going to really help
many of you watching this video.
I don't think you saw this video by chance.
It's time for you to become aware of these things
and to transcend them to really be yourself
in a very powerful way.
Welcome back to another video.
My name is Aaron
and I help people expand their consciousness.
Now on this video, I'm going to be sharing with you more
about understanding something called the mother complex
which a lot of men may have
in the same way I think women go through it
with the father complex,
but also understanding how we literally
inherit the patterns of our parents and of our environment
or our caretakers growing up and we don't even know it.
And the patterns that you're playing
out right now in your life were probably,
or they are the unprocessed patterns
that your parents went through.
Even if it doesn't seem like it,
there's similar patterns there.
Now think of it like this.
First of it think of it like these glasses right here.
Now imagine that when you put these glasses on,
imagine you see the world a certain way.
Imagine there's certain filters.
It's almost like there's a certain belief system
that when you put it on.
So if you have a belief system that says,
I'm not worthy, people don't love me.
And you put these on
or like all relationships people eventually leave me
or whatever these beliefs are.
You put these glasses on, you walk around
you go out into the outer world
and then you get these self fulfilling prophecy
where you keep getting this reflection back to you.
You keep finding that you feel rejected.
You feel emotionally abandoned.
You feel not supported.
These are patterns that came from the energy field
or the belief system of these glasses that you put on
a long time ago that you inherited.
And then you thought these were your glasses.
You thought you had to wear these glasses.
And that's why in this episode
I want to do is I want to share with you my personal story
of how I become aware of these patterns in my own life
and how I finally decided to take off the glasses
how I finally decided and realized that I don't
have to wear the glasses and that they're not mine.
And not only that
I'm going to show you a little meditation practice
that you can do to really separate yourself
from the energy patterns that you absorbed growing up.
So, first off,
I also want to shout out this book right here.
There's this book.
It is by Mark Wolynn.
It is called It Didn't Start With You,
how inherited family trauma shapes
who we are and how to end the cycle.
So it has to do with understanding
that the energy fields, that the energy
and the patterns were living in our life,
were the unprocessed patterns that our parents
were also living through.
So in order to do this
I want to explain this to you in the form.
I'm going to use my handy dandy little chart.
So let's go over there.
In order to explain this to you
what I did is I kind of mapped out the idea
of like a family tree in a way
and what you can think of it as a, you know, we have you
then you have your mama and your dada.
And then what happens is your mom
and your dad each have your grandma and your grandpa
which is their mom and dad.
Now here's the way that I found it works from this book.
And it explains many
many different scenarios where this happens,
but what happens is the energy patterns
that our parents went through growing up
that were unprocessed.
There are certain, those patterns are then passed
on to us and we feel them even at subconscious levels.
So for example,
my, let me just kinda if you explain a little bit of my life
and how I've gone through this transformation myself
and become aware of these things.
My dad is a typical, nice guy.
What'd you call a nice guy.
He's somebody that is like very serious about his job.
He's very good at what he does.
He's a fire investigator and that's been his main focus
but many of you know my story
I had the abusive narcissistic ex stepmom in my life
from seven to 15 years old.
And she completely controlled my brother and I's life.
She took over control, even over like my dad parenting us.
It was then her parenting us.
And she was kinda like an army Sergeant.
And she was somebody that for sure by the way,
was emotionally unavailable.
I'll talk about that in a minute.
And what happened is my dad,
the reason he got taken advantage of
and the reason he allowed that to happen
is cause he was the nice guy.
Now, part of him probably felt safe around my ex step-mom
because she had such a strong frame.
And what happens is when we don't deal
with what is called our mother complex,
our mother complex is when we have, we want to
be this it's this energy where we want to be nurtured
and taken care of
and we want to go back to just being a kid again.
And the thing that stops a lot of men from being masculine
is they hold onto their mother complex
and they don't even know it.
They secretly want it.
They want to be mothered.
They want the, to receive that kind of fulfillment.
So they look for it in other women,
they didn't start dating people
that they think could mother them.
And what happens is that unless the person sheds
that mother complex they'll continue to experience things
in their life of the same energy pattern.
So my dad is a typical, nice guy.
Now look at this.
My grandma's, one thing I know about my grandma,
my grandpa I've never met my actual grandpa,
but I have, she remarried
and that's who I consider my grandpa.
But as far as like inherited trauma
it could also probably be adopted
or step parents as well, obviously
because we're around the energy field.
However, my grandma, I know
at a certain point felt emotionally abandoned
because my grandma is this, like a therapist.
She was one of like eight different kids
and her mom and dad would almost shame her
for wanting to become a therapist
for wanting to become a psychologist or psychiatrist
I forget which one she is.
But the one that you didn't have to go to school
as long for but they told her she was dumb
and that she would never like graduate
or why would she even try doing that?
Just go do something like be a housewife.
And my grandma was super passionate about college
and super passionate about this stuff.
And this is back in like the sixties, seventies.
And what she, or the sixties.
And once she decided to do is she broke away
from her family.
She, I bet you, I know it.
She felt emotionally abandoned and she then stepped into a
more of a masculine role because also her ex-husband
which is my, she kind of fell out of love with him.
And then, which is my grandpa.
And then what happened is my dad was in the middle of that.
And my dad was much closer to his mom.
But in a similar way
what's interesting is there is an emotionally
abandonment wound for my grandma, from her parents.
And my dad is a typical, nice guy.
Now, nice guy is a shadow.
Nice guy is I'm going to be this way towards you
in order to get you to give me validation support
and you know, approval.
Now, the thing with that is it's very unpolarising
and it is something that's like very transactional.
And that's what attracted my ex step-mom
who is a narcissist who could just take over
who is a narcissist, who could just take over.
My dad was constantly trying to please her.
And on the other side of that
she was getting something out of it because she had somebody
that minion to do whatever she wanted to do.
But then that ended in,
my dad eventually divorced her.
And when my dad divorced her, when I was 15 years old
it was like a whole new world
and a whole everything kind of like opened up.
Now, let's go over to my mom's side.
My mom, in a similar way, I won't go into too much detail,
just to, it's not my place necessarily.
I've shared some stuff
before that I realized affected my mom.
My mom did not like that I shared it,
but basically my mom went
through a lot of pain growing up.
She went through a lot of emotional trauma growing up.
And one thing that I know happened
is that she felt emotionally abandoned by her mother, mom.
I know that, and it's happens a lot.
Your mom could actually be there
but you could still feel an emotional abandonment.
And now what happened is
when her mom emotionally abandoned her,
she felt that.
Now here's something interesting that happened with me.
So then there's me.
So I'm just kind of sharing me as an example here.
So I inherited the nice kindness of my dad
that I had to shed.
And I shed it this last year and it's totally different now.
It feels so much better for me to do what I want to do
not play into people's approval, validation
and a lot of this was having to do with realizing
and recognizing that it was a pattern
that I in a way inherited that I wanted to let go of that.
Is it mine?
It's not mine.
It's like almost like those Rose colored glasses
or those glasses wearing them.
I'm like, oh wait, why am I wearing these?
I don't have to wear them.
So I'll tell you the meditation practice
for that in a minute.
Now in a similar way, here's something interesting.
My grandma felt emotionally abandoned.
My dad, was around my grandma.
My dad then attracted my mom who felt emotionally
and abandoned from her mom.
So there was this abandonment wound that my mom had.
There was this abandoned wound that my dad was probably
attracted to because it felt familiar, similar to his mom.
And in a way, I guarantee that my ex step mama
also felt emotionally abandoned by her dad.
So it's interesting how the same signature wound
carries through in our patterns
and it carries through in what we experience.
Now, even me when I was young, my mom, her dad passed away.
And when her dad passed away
it was very traumatizing for her.
And when she was through
when I was three or four years old,
there was a part of me that felt like
because my mom was going through all that stuff
that I was emotionally abandoned.
So it just keeps trickling down.
It's not my mom's fault, by the way,
it's, she wasn't aware of it.
And she was going through her dad passing away
who I never met.
I never met either of my grandpa's.
Isn't that interesting?
I wonder if there's some pattern there, right?
But, emotionally abandoned and she felt not safe.
Now in the same way, what I've realized with me,
the kind of patterns that I attract in my life
is I would attract myself to a woman
that had trauma that also
I would constantly try to gain their validation,
love or support from, their approval from.
And I wouldn't realize why I was so attracted to this.
Well, it's a similar pattern.
I'm attracted to the emotionally abandoned.
I was attracted to someone that was emotionally,
that also felt emotionally abandoned.
And I would then try to get the approval
and I would try to do that by being a nice guy,
which means if I give you this,
then you'll give me this in exchange.
And that was something I had to become aware of.
So a lot of the work that I've been doing this last year
is realizing this core wounding.
Though the core wounding that we had from childhood,
that it's about going within ourselves
and healing that trauma and recognizing as well
and feeling safe within our own container.
This has been life-changing for me.
So your vibration, didn't start with you.
The inner vibration you have
because these also reveal our identity beliefs.
Think of it like that.
Like if you're a nice guy, you believe you're not worthy,
you believe you have to do all these things
in order to gain approval, love and support.
If you feel emotionally abandoned,
you are going to try to also be a nice guy
because you don't want somebody to neglect you
or abandon you.
So if I could just be a little bit different,
maybe that won't happen.
So in my own relationships in life, what I had to learn is
that I would, the sexual polarity would begin to go away
because I would go into this more feminine state
which is the mother complex
which is where I wanted to be nurtured
and mothered because I craved
that emotional connection growing up.
And then that depolarizes the relationship.
So a lot of what I've had to do
in this kind of work is meditation practices
for healing that own inner wound inside of myself
and also separating myself from that of these energies.
So when we talk about the work of these
what this has been me doing is becoming aware of this
and then doing meditation.
So there is a meditation that's completely free.
It's an inner child meditation
which is the same meditation I use to heal this pattern.
And we go to Kauai, Hawaii.
We connect to that energy
and it's a very powerful activation.
It's completely free.
You go to Erin dowdy.com/child
cause it's a child's meditation
or you click the link below.
But basically what you're doing here is you're be,
90% of the process becoming aware of these energies patterns
and then realizing that they are not yours.
They were, my mom felt that from her mom,
my dad felt that from his mom and dad,
and then what I would do in meditation
is I would observe my thoughts
and what I would do is I would observe these emotions
and these things coming up
and I would start to see the patterns
and I would then start to feel more present
inside of my own body.
I would then start to separate myself.
Here's the practice you can do.
I'm gonna go into a different room,
here's a practice you can do.
Get a picture of one of your parents
and put it in front of you and do a meditation
and literally feel the separation between you and them.
You still love them unconditionally, or you still love them.
But what you do is you feel, and you recognize,
you say this is your stuff, this is my stuff.
You feel the separation between the energy.
And you can say, you know what?
This served me for a certain period of my time
but I'm ready to let this go now.
I'm ready to not keep living this pattern out.
And I realized that in many different areas of my life
the whole nice guy thing in relationships,
I realized that that was something that my personality,
I'm actually a very assertive person.
My identity was already completely different
but there was this string from my past
that I felt like I was trying to shed.
And when I began to realize this, it shifted my identity.
So the key to this is getting to the core of your identity
and beginning to separate what is your mom's stuff
versus your dad's stuff
and literally feel the separation and say,
you know this served me for a period of time
and in the meditation feel and say, you know what?
This is yours.
This is mine.
You know what's funny is my brother who has two kids
and he's three years younger than me.
He went through a lot of the trauma
I went through growing up.
Want to hear something interesting?
He attracted his wife that he's now divorcing into his life
who is also very similar energy to my ex stepmom.
Interesting.
These patterns, we pick up
whether we are aware of it or not,
but the key is becoming aware of it
and then realizing, oh, this is your thing.
So literally what I could do is
and I've done this as a meditation
where I look at my dad and I'm like, I love you, dad.
However, this nice guy thing is your thing, not mine.
And as I do that, I start to get more inside of my body.
Also I think a lot of times when we go through family trauma
this is just kind of like a side note.
I think what we do is we energetically kind of
leave our bottom three shakras and into the top ones
and that's why we've become so like intuitive and stuff.
But the key is actually becoming more inside
of the body and feeling safe in your own body.
Being in your frame and being in your own body
is the same thing.
If you want to develop a powerful frame for your life
and you don't want to be in your parents' frame,
get inside your own body.
It's the same thing.
And then feel the separation between you and other people.
Feel the separate, which is so counterintuitive.
It's like, no, we're supposed to be one consciousness,
we're all connected.
That's not the thing we need to hear to heal.
The thing we need to do is to feel the separation.
As I've done that I've gotten more
in my own masculine presence.
I feel more present than ever before.
I'm not this needy little boy that's trying to date women
that's trying to gain their validation.
And because of that, I'm more in my own masculine presence.
And guess what?
Now the feminine can relax.
It's a completely different energy.
So these emotional patterns,
your vibration is been, has been stemmed from a core wound
from your parents that is either healed or unhealed.
And if you want to heal it, the thing to do is to go inside
and to actually separate yourself from the patterns
of that family trauma and to come at peace with it
and to realize, and to feel inside of your heart
and understand that it served you
for a certain period of time
for you to become aware of this stuff.
But you no longer have to live in that.
Like the nice guy thing is a safety mechanism
that keeps people from rejecting me
so I don't experience that emotional abandonment
but no, going into the feeling is key.
Going into the feeling and allowing the feeling to be there.
So if you want to heal these things,
the thing that I recommend you do is you do meditations
for dialoguing with your own inner child
and then actually feeling the separation.
Get a picture of your parents,
say, I love you, but that's your stuff.
This is my stuff.
I've had friends that I've told this to talk to about.
They've done it.
It is so powerful.
You interject and this, this goes even further
beyond just like your parents and their parents' parents.
It was your parents, parents, parents, parents.
It keeps going back because it's unresolved energy
that's been literally residually passed down.
Think about it.
Your mom was in your mom's mom.
And it's like this energy
which means that we're in the energy pattern.
So it's like we're absorbing those energy patterns.
But the key is to separate ourselves from it
and to feel connected within ourselves,
to feel what comes up
and then to be able to separate ourselves
and make a new choice.
So that is the key to this.
Do that meditation, the inner child meditation.
I think it's one of the most powerful ones.
There's also a meditation
for feeling 100% whole and complete,
one of the most powerful meditations on the channel.
That can help as well.
I'll link that below.
And then like this video, if you liked this video
and comment below, if you want me to make a followup video
to this sharing more ideas,
maybe an actual meditation on the actual separation
meditation with the photo.
Let me know, comment below if you want that,
like this video if you liked that,
if you want me to do that.
Other than that I hope you guys enjoyed this video
and as always,
I'll see you on the next one.
Peace, much love, namaste.