Please welcome Leslie Jordan.
[MUSIC - JESSIE J, ARIANA GRANDE, NICKI MINAJ,
"BANG BANG"]
(SINGING) Bang bang into the room.
I know you want it.
Bang bang all over you.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
[CHUCKLING]
Where are you?
I'm at home.
I'm selling stuff [INAUDIBLE] this is
part of the miscommunication.
I'm sorry.
You want it to seem more like I'm there with you?
Would that make you more comfortable, Leslie?
Yeah.
Well, I don't know.
This--
OK.
--is weird.
Just give me a second.
There's no humans anywhere.
Where are the humans?
Well, welcome to my garage.
I'm going to do this.
Watch this.
What have I got myself into?
[LAUGHS]
Does this make you feel more comfortable?
Much, much better.
Well, let me sit down.
Yeah.
Let me sit so it looks like that.
There it goes.
I want to-- I like--
Perfect.
See, you look comfortable.
Perfect.
Leslie, make me look just like you.
Cross my legs the way your legs are crossed.
Go ahead, Leslie.
I'm not going there.
OK.
Thank you.
Whoa, whoa!
Whoa!
[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHS]
[INAUDIBLE] Leslie, I didn't say "pull my legs off."
OK [INAUDIBLE].
So Leslie, I just want to tell you--
all kidding aside, I'll go on like this.
Look it.
I'm a true professional.
My legs have fallen off below the hip.
Yet, I'm still willing to talk to you.
Leslie, I've got to tell you that this
means so much more to me than--
I'm going to be honest.
I've been very open about my mental-health issues.
And I suffer from anxiety and depression.
And like many of us out there, this
has been a really tough time.
And now I'm on TV, so maybe you don't know it.
And this is kind of a mask.
But I've got to tell you that something that gets me out
of those tough, dark times is being able to smile
and being able to laugh.
And your Instagram posts were the panacea that helped get me
and millions of others through.
I just smile and laugh [INAUDIBLE] what you do.
Thank you so much.
I started doing them.
For 80 days, I did two a day--
for 80 days.
And I decided I wasn't going to talk
about politics or religion, and I
wasn't going to sell anything.
I'm rethinking that third one.
But-- [CHUCKLES] because when you--
[LAUGHS]
When you get to, like, 5.5 million,
you can make some bank.
Well, you are.
You're making-- I feel like we have a lot in common.
You and I are the exact same age.
Do you know that?
Is that right?
Did you ever think that you'd have this kind of success?
Yeah.
At 65?
Yes
I would never.
In fact, I'm working so hard right now.
I'm on the series two sound stages over.
They brought me over here in a little golf cart.
Look, look, look.
Yeah.
Well, I walked out of my own house.
[LAUGHS] But I'm having such a good time.
But I sometimes wish maybe it could have happened in my 20s.
But I'd have just messed it up.
So--
In your 20s.
I know-- when I started following you,
I was looking you up.
In your 20s, you went through a little bit of a rough time.
Didn't you share a jail cell with Iron Man?
Yes.
Yes, my unfortunate incarceration.
[CHUCKLES] I had--
[CHUCKLES]
I'm not proud of this, but I got a bunch of DUIs.
Actually, they came to me because I
had gone to the jailer that turns the key.
And I said, listen, I've been here 12 days,
and I'm having a panic attack--
a real, true-- and can I take a walk?
And he said, what?
I said, I promise I'll come back.
I just want to walk just--
I'll come back.
He said, get out of here.
And so the next day, he came up, took pity on me, goes,
we're going to let you out.
We've got Robert Downey, Jr., downstairs,
and we have nowhere to put him.
So I'm the only one that was privy--
That's so funny
--to his address.
Funny man walking.
152, Pod A--
That's fantas--
--cell 13, top bunk [INAUDIBLE].
You don't give out your address.
This is going out to everyone.
[LAUGHS]
And I was also reading--
I'm fascinated because I love that you're so natural
and you're just you.
And I saw you on another interview saying that you made
a New Year's Eve revolu-- resolution--
Resolution.
--to not swear anymore.
I don't want-- resolution to not swear.
You're a potty mouth, right?
Yes, I'm filthy.
You know what?
I'm just telling you, you've got to be you.
If I--
I know.
--was you, I wouldn't give a [BLEEP]..
Yeah-- oh!
Let's talk a lot more.
We'll be back right after this.
We're back with the hilarious Leslie Jordan.
Leslie, talk to me about the new show Call Me Kat.
Tell me what it's about.
Call Me Kat is Mayim Bialik, who I had always
wanted to work with forever and ever and ever.
She plays this 39-year-old girl who's not married.
And she's got this fancy mother, Swoosie Kurtz, who
just wants her to get married.
And so it's just shenanigans.
She takes her dowry, and she buys a cat cafe.
And that's my job.
I wrangle the pussy.
But wasn't the role--
What?
I'm sorry.
What?
So much for the New Year's resolution.
Anyway--
[LAUGHTER]
Now, speaking of that, the role was
meant to be played by a woman, right, Leslie?
Yes, it was written--
How did you end up getting the part?
Well, it was written for--
Phyllis was the character.
My character is Phil.
When I read the script, I thought to myself,
I could tear that part up.
But I got hired to play the part that Julian Gant plays now.
That is fantastic.
And we're glad you did, and we're
glad we can see you every week.
Call Me Kat airs Thursdays at 9:00 PM on Fox.