I will never be able to convince myself that cryptids like Bigfoot or Nessie are anything but modern-day fairy tales.
Oh, you saw Mothman out back of a 7-11 and he ate your favorite socks?
Bonnie Janet saw the queen of the fairies out in Carterhaugh Forest,
and she stole her second favorite boyfriend.
The Emperor of Japan was knocked out by moon men, but they left him with the secret to eternal life.
I'm just saying, regional folklore is pretty much formatted the same worldwide.
It's not like urban legends about humanoid monsters are a new concept on the global stage.
But I'd say, despite their universality,
Japan is my number one pick for crazy regional cryptid legends,
since they've got so many of them and they're all so specific.
You know, there's one about one specific rock that was possessed by a malevolent kitsune
and killed everyone it touched.
I love it, it's great.
Now the scenic Joren waterfall found on the Izu peninsula is home to a particularly fun legend
that centers on the Jorōgumo, a murderous spider demon known for diversifying its villainous portfolio
beyond the basic Shelob impersonator by using its shape-shifting powers to pull part-time as a hot lady.
*whispers*
What?
*whispers*
No, I haven't played Shadow of War.
*whispers*
Well, that's stupid.
*whispers*
Tolkien's crippling arachnophobia did not die for this.
Now Jorōgumo is a yokai, which is broadly an umbrella term in Japanese folklore
for weird, bewitching, and/or dangerous entities known to cause problems for people through various supernatural means,
including shape-shifting, illusions, and occasionally good old-fashioned murder.
It usually gets translated in English as "demon" for the sake of convenience,
but the word has plenty of nuance that this translation doesn't really capture.
For one thing, the Jorōgumo's story isn't actually as predictable as you might expect
from a whirlwind romance between an unsuspecting lumberjack
and a shape-shifting spider monster with a habit of eating dudes.
So, the Jorōgumo makes her mythological debut at the Joren Falls when a local dude
takes an ill-advised nap by her waterfall she responds by entangling his leg in spider webs while he sleeps.
The dude wakes up, and, figuring he was just webbed up by a very confused water spider,
transfers the webbing to a nearby tree trunk,
but is shocked when the tree is ripped out of the ground and dragged into the water by the webs.
Upon realizing that the waterfall is being haunted by a monstrous spider that very nearly dragged this guy to a watery doom,
the locals all start avoiding the waterfall like the plague,
and also probably talking about how their cousin was totally abducted by Princess Kaguya one time.
But one day, an out-of-towner woodcutter stops by to do some classic lumberly actions
and accidentally butterfingers his axe directly into the waterfall basin.
But before he resigns himself to a life empty and meaningless without his true calling of lumberjacking,
a beautiful woman pops out of nowhere,
hands his axe back to him,
and disappears.
Predictably enough, the woodcutter is very taken with this mysterious hot lady,
and returns to the waterfall everyday to hang out with her.
But the woodcutter starts physically wasting away the longer he spends with this mysterious,
totally-not-a-spider-demon woman,
and the local Buddhist priest starts getting concerned.
So one day the priest accompanies the woodcutter out to the waterfall
to recite a couple spider-repellent sutras,
and when a spider web whips out from the waterfall, the priest repels it with the power of Buddhism, I think.
So, now the woodcutter knows the hot lady he's been seeing is actually a Jorōgumo,
but, surprisingly,
this isn't a deal breaker for him.
So he seeks out the head honcho yokai of the mountain, a Tengu, which are bird-like
yokai generally seen as protective but dangerous spirits whose reputation was historically a lot more malevolent,
and asks the Tengu for permission to marry the Jorōgumo,
but the Tengu refuses, and the woodcutter is understandably upset,
but ultimately decides that while disappointing, this is the best outcome for everybody, and he returns home to
--Psyche! He charges directly into the waterfall, gets tangled up in spider webs, and disappears.
Did his spider girlfriend eat him? Did they live happily ever after? Who knows?
Well, if you want a story with a definite unhappy ending,
What?
we've just tackled the tragic tale of Izanagi and Izanami over on our channel!
How does everyone keep getting in here?
Oh, Zoey has level 100 lock-picking.
Meow.
I've trained her well.
Okay, Zoey's the cat... burglar, and that would make you...
Heh heh. My name isn't important.
It's Matt, by the way. Hi, huge fan.
And if you're curious about how a romance can end worse than literally getting eaten by your spider spouse,
come join us over around our campfire at Extra Credit's new series Extra Mythology.
That does sound interesting...
Throw in some s'mores and you've got a deal.
Ugh,
Who has the stomach for s'mores when you just talked about a giant man-eating spider?
Did somebody say s'mores?
Touche, my friend.
Touche.
Let's go.
She can kill with a smile, she can move with her eyes
She can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child, but she's always a woman to me
Oh
She takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh
And she never gives out,
and she never gives in
She just changes her mind