Hi, everyone. It's me. Back on my YouTube channel.
Where I always am. Shouldn't be a surprise.
I turned you around so you could see my desk.
Normally I'm facing it, or I'm right beside it, or I'm somewhere else completely, so it's something you never get to see.
But this is how baby videos are made. Right here.
This is where the magic happens.
And I'm back in my onesie today, because I do truly feel like it is the garment that most says,
I don't give a f***.
So I'm suited up and I've girded my loins to read some weird, mean, funny, disturbing comments.
Which I enjoy doing, by the way, so for anyone who wants to say "don't feed the trolls," I wrote a little song for you.
Feed the trolls Tuppence a bag
Tuppence, tuppence Tuppence a bag
Yes, I wanted to do a song about "feed the trolls" and the only song I could think of was "Feed the Birds" from Mary Poppins.
I'm sorry, I'm not perfect.
And I really mean it, okay? I know I'm not perfect.
Although some people think I'm more perfect than others.
Like, uh, for example this person has a suggestion for improving this.
So, just to clarify, this person thinks that four masks would be less creepy than four of my face.
Okay, okay. I see where we stand here.
I love constructive criticism.
I assume they're talking about this, which I was going to call my beauty mark,
but then I felt like that sounded really pretentious, so I'm just gonna say mole.
This mole, um, is actually something I really like about myself.
And I think it's cute. So pttthbt.
Also I'm still waiting for that quarter, okay? You want me to make cosmetic improvements,
you can't just expect me to do that on my own dime.
I just want to feature this one because I loved it.
Spotlight on you, because you're adorable.
But we all know Newton's 3rd Law, for every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction,
and we also all know that Newton was clearly talking about YouTube comments.
So there are some people that hate my facial expressions.
You know what, I think I've actually got a solution for this.
Cheaper than plastic surgery, less scary than having a rat gnaw something off my face,
And this should make the masks person happy too, right?
Maybe I should be hiding my face, because apparently something just about the way that it is is making people think I'm a real piece of s***.
Okay, that's not the right use of the word "endure."
Oh god.
Okay, I am an asshole. I am an asshole. I'm about to like--
Well this puts me in a difficult position, because now I feel like to respond I have to brag about how humble I am.
Which, you see, doesn't really--
I'm telling you this, and I'll be the first one to tell you this.
That in spite of there being so many more people in the world that are more talented and more deserving than I am,
I am the one sitting here in front of a camera today with this great audience.
And I will never stop being thankful and humble about that.
Along with the humility thing, I just wanted to share this amazing comments fight with you all.
I saw the initial comment, I gave my sassy response, and I never thought about it again.
But when I was going back through comments to find things to put in this video, I saw that there was a fight raging
And continuing to rage
First comment says:
Like I just said, no. No, I don't think I'm good.
Exactly. Never said I was good, okay?
Statistically, most of us have to be average.
When I took this screenshot, the first comment was a month ago and there were still new comments being added up to 13 hours before I took that screenshot.
But seriously, I saw a lot of people coming to my defense in that thread and I was genuinely touched.
So thank you. Sincerely.
I also want to say that I am really not hurt by comments like that, and you don't have to waste your time debating with dumbasses
if you don't want to, but the fact that so many people did was really amazing.
Let's move on. There are a lot of people that think I look like someone else.
I'm not sure about the physical similarities, but I do feel if I were a character from The Office, I would be a Pam.
And then there's the person who's reminded of a different Riley...
Who is a pornstar.
Actually not the first time I've heard that.
First of all I genuinely hope that this becomes copypasta because I think it's so terrible that it's amazing.
Second of all, I do have a big mouth. You're right.
But the only thing that should be opening up and swallowing right now
is the Earth, opening up a giant, gaping maw
to swallow you after making that terrible comment.
I mean, I get it. For some people I'm just everything they've been looking for.
Like this person. Who says:
Oh, like the look of disappointment that I'll give after reading this next comment.
Here's some more disappointment!
Well I'm sorry to disappoint you.
Yeah, you are in the minority. Get the f*** out.
Also, you're gonna hate this next section. Get out, fuck off, son of a bitch.
Okay okay, let's get back to happy stuff. Here's a good one.
Hitting the notes is the absolute bare minimum what I should be doing here.
So thank you.
I love this because it makes it sound like I'm the Russian mail order bride.
I have been told I look Russian.
One time, in the Metro, a random lady stopped me and asked me if I spoke Russian.
Uh, I don't.
Um, I think I missed my chance to become a Russian spy, so that's a little disappointing.
Also, probably don't go to that mail order bride website. Just in case you needed to be told that.
I've been working on something I think you'll really like.
I don't know what the intention was here, but whatever it was, it came out sounding like a lecherous old man.
Is it too much to ask for, just like, to ask people to not be gross?
Let me tell you why it was not a waste. Because I'm not an actor.
You're saying it's like a waste that I don't get to be seen on screen?
You are commenting on my YouTube video. I'm the only one on the screen.
I'm 24.
When I made that video over a year ago, I got a lot of comments, and I never responded to any of them.
I saw several themes in those comments, and this is one that I would actually like to address.
Here, now that no one's gonna see it.
I really want to respond to this because it is such a common sentiment.
My personal life is personal. That video was not about personal drama.
That video was about an abuser who has an enormous amount of power and influence,
and who uses that power and influence to manipulate, control, and hurt people.
Because he has such a large platform, he is even more dangerous, and that should not be hidden.
A lot of people my age and younger, much younger, look up to him, or at least watch him,
and he has used that, can use it, and will continue to use that to control and hurt people.
And if you're saying that this is a personal matter that should be kept quiet, you are part of the problem
creating this culture that shames victims and survivors of abuse.
This is why people are afraid to talk about it.
I waited about a year to make it because I was afraid to make it.
It's so much bigger than personal drama, and that video needed to be made.
I hope that people who have had similar experiences will allow me to speak for them in this as well.
I already felt so much shame about what happened to me,
I want to actively
be a part
of destroying the culture
that puts even more shame upon these people.
I had so much support before, during, and after all of the stuff around that video.
I cannot imagine the pain it must cause to have your family or friends or someone close to you being the ones to tell you to keep it quiet.
I know that a lot of victims, survivors, will deal with their abuse in silence and in solitude
and that they won't have the network that I had. And that makes me very sad.
So less shame, more support please.
Ahh, I'm trying.
I want to ruin my own songs, not other people's.
Doing covers is really fun but I don't just want to be known for doing covers on YouTube.
I have my first EP written, it's in production, I've just been having a lot of problems.
I haven't talked about it, and I don't want to get too much into it for the sake of professionalism,
but I am working with a new producer now and I hope to have it out by the end of the year.
I've got merch designed too, I'm waiting for it to come in,
I'm so, so ready to finally get all this stuff out there.
I wanna be a real musician!
So thanks for watching, please like and share and blah blah whatever. I feel disgusting saying those things.
I hope that you enjoyed seeing a little bit more of my personality, and if you didn't,
please leave a creative hate comment, and I may feature you in the next one.
Hasta next time!