hi I'm Joe Furey I was a writer on late night at NBC like a lot of people on the
show I started out as an intern I was in college at the time and I was staying with my sister Sue
in the morning she came in and said to me Dave Letterman mentioned that they're
looking for an intern right but Paul I want to mention just one thing very briefly you
know our intern program yes where this enables college students from underprivileged families
from all around the United States to come here and earn actual college credit for xeroxing
so now uh like three weeks ago one left one left a little girl the one who's always tan she she hit
hit the road and I hear today that another one has washed out so Paul maybe maybe the program
is too too rough for these kids do you think so I was so reluctant to do it that she actually called
and said hey I'm just calling I wanted I heard that you had you had an internship available
and they said yeah let me let me talk to him I went in on an interview and I ended up doing
it which was completely crazy it's a job that Demands a certain breed of individual someone
who doesn't ask to be paid a job that gives you up to 15 college credits if you have what it takes a
gullible College advisor or parents who are major stockholders of General Electric you'll work side
by side with broadcasting professionals Kevin Kevin late night intern no pay no fun no kidding
one of my first things I felt like contributed something to the show was a guy called up and
said hey I have this piece of footage that you are going to love for your this show you guys
need to put this on your show there's a White House correspondence dinner I believe it or
a press dinner where the president was speaking in the foreground Dan Quayle was seen and he was
eating his lunch and he was the only one eating and everyone else was watching the President and
it ended up being the thing that Dave used about a hundred times on the show at any time there was
a dull moment they would go can we see that that footage again of Dan Quayle eating lunch what do
you have for us tonight something very special Dave I have some footage of Dan Quayle eating
lunch you wanna see that Dan Quayle eating lunch roll the vice presidential candidate Dan Quinn
corner
my God it is it's Dan Quail
the president appears to be speaking indeed he's talking
yeah everyone else seems to be paying attention
this guy is obviously there just for the free lunch
I did TV commercials my entire childhood in some sense that might have been why they used
me a fair amount in skits is that I think they saw the commercials and stuff and just
felt like oh you know he could he could do stuff from the show too I was in a TV
commercial for once how long ago about 10 years ago what for Coca-Cola did you make money off
of the deal yeah a little bit Yeah okay let's take a look at it now tonight what do we start
is that news I was in a lot of like viewer mail letters I think we have a staff member
up there tonight is that right Hal yes get a shot I think we have one of our staff members
up there in the audience this evening this is what we're talking about occasionally
if there's some kind of a joke yeah there he is right there what do you think how'd we do
hell hell I think we have a break
there thank God
hello hello I wonder if that's the phone again damn I'm so good at dialing if only
I told her was to it I can dial all day I just can't answer the damn thing
hello this is John C Lewis speaking hello okay okay I can dial I can dial I just don't know on
it answer the phone Mike look a color TV your VCR too hey it's running well this guy must be
recording the Lettermen show Letterman huh let me see ha a tape of the David Letterman show
from my own private collection how nice talk about luck we bust into this house and now I
get a tape a tape of one of my talk show Idols David Letterman Tom are you being sarcastic
of course I am I've always wondered what it would be like to uh sit in a chair next to you could I
give it a try just come right down here and sit in the chair sure I don't see a problem
with that come on down hurry up though we're running a little late guy wants to sit in the
chair here next to me Paul said this would be kind of interesting to see what that is like
put him right through there
there you go are you enjoying that yeah yeah okay all right thank you very much
a GE washer repair please hold a moment
sorry ma'am what what date was that the 16th I'm sorry I'm sorry oh
somebody kill me I was in a skit if you were male skit or I played a character who lived under the
seats and I said I was from the the land of the mole people and it wasn't really all that funny it
didn't end up being that great it didn't get any laughs really at all hi how you doing I recognize
you you're David Letterman yeah that's right what brings you here to the land of the mole people uh
well we're just uh we're just conducting a little experiment what are you up to ah a little digging
little eating Roots a little hanging out yeah so what's uh new with you service dwellers well you
know uh pretty soon the uh the presidential administration of Ronald Reagan will come
to an end Ronald Ronald who I think it was Jeff Martin decided to write skits around it and then
it became this thing with I did like I think about three times where I came out as a guest uh yes sir
do you have a question for Joe Fury mole man what goes into getting into the mole Man costume okay
the process actually it takes uh over six hours we actually have a piece of a videotape let's take a
look at 5 a.m that's when I arrive at makeup first basic pancake layers then a prosthetic
chin is put in place that takes about an hour to dry during which I get a bald wig and a false brow
special contact lenses change the color of my eyes to earth tones painful rods are inserted into my
mouth to extend the lips and there's the final result and the funniest thing about that mole
man thing is I was on the show a lot doing it to the point where NBC put it in a promo tonight on
late night David lists the aid of mole man and one courageous page in the effort to get Joan Collins
on the show on the Halloween show we would do new costumes the one I had was a girl just came out
as a return check from Donald Trump I'm kind of proud of it because it was years and years
before anyone really knew that much about you about Trump so I'm I still refer to it today and
say that's my proudest achievements is uh making fun of trump on something hi come on in all right
nice nice to see you how are you are you having a nice Halloween wow well thanks for coming over
here here's a costume that's very popular this year it's a returned check from Donald Trump
I used to live in Brooklyn there was this little barber shop on the on the way right
near where I live that looked like a barber shop from like the 50s and it occurred to me
that what if somebody was a like a secret agent or something like that that kind of a dumb thing
a day he was an average Big City Barber okay how about a flat top all right but by mid-afternoon
he was a crusader for justice hold it right there punks you're under arrest Dave Lederman
he's a hair stylist on a mission to cut and trim Prime how about
those Yankees huh really looks like they might do something this year
good with special guest star Paul Shaffer as the chief
Dave Letterman is the barber with the badge
The Late Shift Bill card who's a nice guy came in he was writing his book when the movie came
out the one gag they used in the movie was a gag that I wrote of Paul having the hiccups
and Dave's Dave is trying to help him with the hiccups and he puts a bag over his head and then
hits him with a baseball bat just the idea of seeing something you wrote that was acted out
and then done again I thought God that's that's just hysterical that this is actually happening
I was in a viewer mail letter someone said uh Dave can I be on your show Dave said sure you can be on
the show and then it dissolves to the guy's house the funniest thing in the whole thing to me is
me a Jude just sitting there like this you know we get a lot of letters like this and
uh but I think tonight I'm in a pretty good mood so sure Dave you can if you
want to you can yeah why not you can sure you can be on the show anytime you want
oh my god did you hear that he said I could be on the show did you hear that mommy said I could
be on the show I'm gonna be on Late Night with David Letterman I'm gonna call my boss
hello this is Dave Wilson you can take your job and go to hell I'm
gonna be a late night I'm gonna be on Late Night
poor kid was somehow under the delusion he was going to be on a late night TV show
it was a Manhattan cable access show there was a guy who had a show who was trying to be like
a legitimate show it was a call-in show he'd have like a serious topic and literally every
phone call he'd answer would be like [ __ ] you hi you're on the air I don't care yeah how you doing
and so a criminal coming right now but what's the chance that mayor Dinkins who can't even clean up
the city I thought your mother Paul Simson I thought this was like the funniest we both
like we're watching it all the time watching the show we thought it was so funny that it ended up
being a viewer mail letter and the great part was later that week he he got heard about it
and he talked about it on his show which we we thought was the greatest accomplishment ever
hello please you're on the air go ahead yeah
yeah if we can stick to the topic I'd appreciate it thank you very much for calling hello you're
on the air hi I love the show thank you very much thanks for calling you know
what those of you who caught David Letterman Friday night they did a little parody on this
show and I thought it was cute and I actually appreciate the acknowledgment that at least
somebody on that level is watching the show and I want to thank them for notifying me that they were
doing that they were doing some kind of parity on this show I was in a skit where I was heckling
Bill Murray we rehearsed it we did the whole thing and walked through it bill was shaking me
and throwing and he pushes me out the door and we fall on the ground and he literally falls on top
of me and he stands up and he puts his hand out to help me get up and he says by the way I'm Bill
which was hilarious and the funniest thing is if you look really closely Chris Farley and Adam
Sandler were both there standing in the hall and after it was over they were saying that was great
who told you I suck who said I suck better do us a favor and just try and relax and
enjoy the rest of the show okay you might enjoy it Letterman if you weren't here
stay out of attorney
hey pal say what you want to me but you leave David alone
thank you now you just dialed the wrong number mister
this is a collect call you cheap little punk back to the finger lens princess
I think you're only creating you know work situation and you start thinking that's the case
foreign