In a mere 30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole you will receive more energy from this electric
node than you would in an entire day being outside with your clothes on.
This is perineum sunning. It’s a trend that took off after Instagram influencers Metaphysical
Meagan and Ra of Earth began promoting it as a way to recharge your prana life force
energy.
And your cheeks are also just another… like that’s a big solar panel that’s usually
not out in the sun.
They also claim that it Increases creativity and creative output, aids in a healthy libido
& balanced sexual energy. Regulates the circadian rhythm and promotes deeper sleep. Grounds
and connects you to the Earth. Increases your personal magnetism and amplifies the auric
field. Gives you better focus and mental stimulation. And regulates hormone function in sex organs.
It also allegedly keeps your chi from leaking out.
Today, I learned that chi leaks out your butthole. It’s coming out of me like lava! So I’m
officially announcing that I’m closing down this channel to pursue the more lucrative
job as a chi plug salesman. I’ll also be selling chi bedpans to capture all the chi
that leaks out of you during the night. Re-consume it or sell it to your friends. What you do
with it is up to you.
I’ll eat your ass! I will!
Jokes aside, girl, if you get butthole cancer, chi leaking out will be the least of your
concerns.
God’s gonna put a cancer in the butthole!
Shortly after this went viral, Josh Brolin, who played Thanos in the Avengers, posted
this on Instagram: “Tried this perineum sunning that I’ve
been hearing about and my suggestion is DO NOT do it as long as I did. My pucker hole
is crazy burned and I was going to spend the day shopping with my family and instead I’m
icing and using aloe and burn creams because of the severity of the pain. I don’t know
who the f**k thought of this stupid s**t but f**k you nonetheless. Seriously.”
Ooooh! He needs some milk!
While the perineum is extremely sensitive, and too much direct sunlight can cause sunburns
and increase your chance of skin cancer, in fairness to the Instagramers, they only recommend
30 seconds to a few minutes of sunlight down there, saying that 30 seconds of sun on the
anus is equivalent to a whole day in the sun with clothes on.
How that’s supposed to work exactly is beyond me. Does the sun get super intense when you
flash your butthole at it? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Or does your butthole suck in sunlight like
a reverse-farting cosmic vacuum cleaner?
Now you are getting more sunlight on your body overall when you sunbathe naked, but
only because you’re exposing more surface area to the sun. Not because your pucker hole
magically soaks up sunlight like a Shamwow!
You’ll be saying, “Wow!” every time you... Optimize your butthole sunning!
This topic is about a dream of mine that I’ve always wanted to come true. And that dream
is... Having my anus in the sun! Hahahahaha! The
sun was shining down through the clouds. A rainbow! RAINBOW! Started to form around me.
And that’s when I knew that this was a special day and that I had to go for it. And then
I said, “Now is the moment - the moment for me to make this dream come true.” So
I… Opened up… I opened up, and as I began to… you know: to actualize and realize my
dream, the most amazing thing happened. And I’m telling you, it was… I can’t…
you know what. Words alone can’t describe how amazing it was.
I’m pretty sure it was a tantalizing experience for you for the same reason that you got giddy
school girl-like excitement over saying the word “anus.”
Anus in the sun! Hahahaha!
Look, when you go out in the sun, you do feel better. It’s warm, light, and comforting,
and it wakes you up. But it’s not because you’re absorbing energy like a plant.
Your body doesn’t have chlorophyll. It can’t photosynthesize! What it can and does do,
however, is produce vitamin D. When UV rays hit your skin they break apart a steroid in
your skin called 7-dehydrocholesterol producing colecalciferol better known as vitamin D3.
Vitamin D is related to many different things in health: not only bone health, but also
musculoskeletal... Also the ability to fight infections, to cancers, and a whole bunch
of medical conditions.
Our bodies are complicated. Going out in the sun, and being exposed to UV rays does increase
your chance of getting skin cancer (and it’s cumulative over the course of your life),
but staying inside away from the sun and not exercising can lead to obesity, cardiovascular
issues, high blood pressure, other forms of cancer, and this list goes on.
That’s why doctors do recommend that you get outside, get some exercise and get some
sunshine, but also recommend using sunscreen because excessive exposure to UV radiation
from the sun can cause harmful cell damage and can build up and lead to deadly skin cancer.
You can also get vitamin D3 from your diet, and if you’re deficient, there are supplements
you can take. But listen to your doctor on the proper dose, because megadosing vitamins
has its own risks.
Now while 30 seconds on your butthole probably isn’t gonna do a whole lot, exposing yourself
in public may get you on the sex offender registry list.
Get out in the sun. Get naked.
Are you guys sure you guys want to do this right here?
Hell yeah!
We’re out in public. There’s a kid’s swing there.
Don’t worry about the cops, man! Wooooo hoooo, buddy!
And if you bake in the sun all day, it also makes your skin age faster. As shown in this
famous photo of a life-long truck driver who only had one side of his face exposed to the
sun for decades of driving. That’s also why wrinkly hippies and nudists tend to look
like saggy prunes.
I do like to tell people that if you wanna to see how good your skin could look, look
at your butt, because that’s an area that doesn’t get sun. And even old people have
perfect butts.
Now, I love getting sunshine, but it does kinda blow my mind just how many wellness
gurus are terrified of safe 5G waves…
That will protect your nuts or your ovaries while the phone’s like on you, or in you,
and around you.
...but will blast their sensitive taints with ultraviolet radiation which is exponentially
more energetic than 5G.
What about claims that sunning cures yeast infections?
I think it’s antibacterial. I think it’s antifungal… or something. You’re actually
getting a nice good clean p***y at the same time as you are cosmically galactivating your
inner feminine goddess!!
According to Dr. Christine O’Connor, a gynecologist at Mercy Medical Center, “Allowing the area
to air out and breathe can help reduce the risk of infection and irritation, but the
sun is not a necessary component of that treatment.” And “Sunning’ the groin area doesn’t
cure vaginal infections.”
You know what has been proven to work? Antifungal medication. And if you think that you have
a yeast infection, don’t just sun the area, go see a doctor, because the symptoms of a
yeast infection can be very similar to more serious conditions like bacterial vaginosis
or STIs.
But here’s the twist: direct exposure to ultraviolet light from the sun can and does
kill bacteria and viruses on non-porous surfaces like metal or plastic. Even hospitals use
UV light to disinfect equipment. They don’t rely on UVA or UVB radiation though which
is what hits us from the sun (UVA & UVB is also often used to cure nails at salons or
in tanning beds). They could but it would take hours to kill the virus.
Instead, hospitals use the more powerful UVC radiation which the sun also emits, but is
fortunately absorbed by ozone in our atmosphere. And before you think of bathing in UVC, here’s
what a sales rep at UV Light Technology had to say about it, “UVC is really nasty stuff
– you shouldn't be exposed to it. It can take hours to get sunburn from UVB, but with
UVC it takes seconds. If your eyes are exposed … you know that gritty feeling you get if
you look at the sun? It's like that times 10, just after a few seconds."
Oftentimes health gurus, instagram influencers, or wellness hacks will take little pieces
of scientific fact and twist and run with it, drawing completely ludacris conclusions
usually to sell a product.
The most popular product is called “Power shake,” and we actually call it, “Liquid
sunshine.”
Sadly, we don’t value good science information in the US and this type of thing and untested
BS alternative treatments aren’t regulated. And have run wild as a result. Celebrity quacks
are idolized while doctors, professors, and teachers are mistrusted. Because of this,
scientifically illiterate representatives are voted into the highest levels of office.
During a press conference on the coronavirus this last week, Trump had this to say about
possible coronavirus treatments.
So, supposing we hit the body with a tremendous… uh… whether it’s ultraviolet or just very
powerful light. And I think you said that hasn’t been checked, but you’re gonna
test it. And then I said, “Supposing you brought the light inside the body…” Which
you can do either through the skin or… uh… in some other way. And I think you said you’re
gonna test that too. Sounds interesting.
The coronavirus spreads throughout your lungs mixing and mingling with your body’s own
cells. Any light that’s powerful enough to damage the virus is powerful enough to
destroy our own cells with it. It would cause irreparable damage and eventually even death.
Even if scientists find a treatment which does work, researchers understand that they
need to make sure that the treatment isn’t more dangerous than the disease itself.
AAAAA!
Everything’s fine.
But the animal is inside out.
I heard that! It turned inside out?
UUGGGHHH!
And it exploded.
There are doctors working hard every day to find a safe cure and/or vaccine for the coronavirus.
Now, more than ever, we need to heed their advice! These are the people we should have
been listening to all along. Not the celebrities, not Hippies with products to sell, but doctors,
researchers, and scientists - because while they tend to be more humble about it, they
actually know what they’re talking about.
So you guys want to play stupid out there on the internet. All you little fake news
“Journalists!” All you dermatologists and medical doctors out there worrying about
skin cancer!
Get educated. A populace is only protected against pseudoscience to the extent that it's
educated against pseudoscience.
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amazing. And as always, dare to be curious, but don’t drink the Koolaid.
So our hands are the extension of our heart. Our heart is the generator of the electromagnetic
field in our body. It has the strongest vibratory frequency. Ummm, our food that we get from
many places is often under the influence of spells of others. So it’s very important
that we program our food with our desired intent. So I’m about to put my hands over
my food and I’m speaking that I desire for this food to nourish my vessel to activate
my DNA and to bring me into aliant with my… Alignment! With my highest state - my highest
good - the highest good of all. And so it is. Now my food is ready to eat. I’ve infused
it with my energy.
What is wrooooong with you people?!?!