It's never easy calling off a relationship
The idea that this initial point of connection can shift as people mature and experience different aspects of life is sometimes uncomfortable.
As hard as it is to tell someone things just aren't working out between you two
It would be even harder to continue forcing it, telling yourself that things will eventually work out when you know deep down they won't
Does this sound familiar?
Here are seven signs. They may not be a keeper.
One
You find yourself consistently unhappy with the relationship
We know relationships aren't just all games and no work
But if it's constant work without fulfillment then is it really the right one for you?
Happiness is not an emotion that can be felt on a consistent basis as humans
We experience bad days, drama and disagreements
But no one should ever make you feel like you have to satisfy your partner's needs
Or that your partner isn't helping you satisfy your own desires or ambitions
A healthy relationship means checking in with one another frequently and making sure a balance is achieved
Two
You hold a toxic dynamic with your partner.
Based on one study researchers have discovered that there are three main conflict styles in relationships
"Mutual constructive"
"Demand withdraw"
And "Mutual avoidance"
While conflicts are not inherently bad and are to be expected in any relationship
Ongoing conflict can hurt both partners rather than bringing them closer
The "Mutual constructive" style strengthens the relationship
When both partners can only express what is bothering them as they work together to find a solution
Toxic conflict dynamics, however
Lie within the styles of demand withdraw and mutual avoidance
In the "demand withdraw" circumstance
One partner will try to discuss an issue while the other partner wants to avoid it
In other words one person will often criticize while the other defense
As for "Mutual Avoidance" both partners will avoid conflict and choose not to express their true feelings
When this happens there will always view this underlying feeling that makes all the happy moments feel less genuine
The feeling that there's some other issue that hasn't been confronted
Slowly but surely the tension builds up and eventually both partners quietly grow apart from one to another
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Now, on to point number three
You have a hard time trusting the other person
It's one thing to have trust issues due to trauma or a bad childhood
But it's another thing to put your heart on the line only to experience letdowns one after the other
One person can't do all the heavy lifting in the relationship
if you're putting in all the work practising vulnerability
And exercising open communication, but your partner chooses to lie, betray or beat around the bush
This goes to show they might not be as fully invested in the relationship as you are
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Okay, back to it
Four
They only see your ideal self not you.
Who doesn't fantasize about meeting someone who gets all of your dad jokes
Or being with a great conversationalist, but over time as you continue to date someone
Imagination will fade as you replace them with real-life experiences
This is why falling in love is a slow gradual process
A partner may hint towards their idealization, do they constantly talk about how you should lose weight?
Or that you should pick up a certain hobby because it'd be so attractive
Or compare you with their friends partner?
Probably not a keeper
Five
They focus on problems more than solutions
Does your partner focus on what happened in the past more than the present ?
Or they forgive you only to bring up that thing that you did to them when you have a future argument?
Relationships take time, space and collaborative efforts to flourish
But if you feel like your partner's holding on to the past more than trying to understand how to make things work and move forward
It might be time to adjust this and ask them where the both of you are headed
Six
They test you constantly
You're probably familiar with the concept of testing
whether you've done it plenty in school for your license are nailing a job interview
Life in fact is a series of tests in itself, and you may have to work harder on some days to find your willpower
In a stable relationship your partner is meant to give you a safe space where you can be yourself
If they insist however on making you feel like you have to earn their love, not only can it be manipulative but abusive
Seven
Your values don't align with theirs
Take a good hard look at your partner.
And no I don't mean observing the brand's they wear or the haircut they might have just gotten
I mean really look within them. Do they want the same things as you in life or have similar priorities?
Values are different from hobbies and interests where they're more fixed
If you want to focus more on your career
But they want to settle down already and have kids... this may cause friction more than fulfillment
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Comment below and let us know. What was the time when you realized a partner wasn't the one
And be sure to check out our video we did on the opposite
Signs that they are a keeper. As always. Thanks for watching