>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!
MY NEXT GUEST HAS STARRED IN EVERYTHING FROM "GALAXY QUEST"
TO "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU."
PLEASE WELCOME JUSTIN LONG!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ♪
>> Stephen: NOW, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE, BUT I WAS JUST
SHAKING YOUR HAND AND TALKING KIND OF CLOSE TO YOU AND I JUST
REMEMBER MY PRODUCER TOLD ME BEFORE YOU WALKED OUT THAT YOU
ARE SICK.
>> I THOUGHT ABOUT NOT SHAKING HANDS.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN DO THE ROMAN HANDSHAKE.
MY DAD WAS AN IMMUNOLOGIST.
YOU DO THAT AND YOUR HAND ONLY TOUCHES FOREARM TO FOREARM.
AS LONG AS YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING UNTOWARD WITH YOUR
FOREARM, WE'RE ALL GOOD.
>> I DID THINK ABOUT DOING THAT.
A CHEST BUMP WOULD HAVE BEEN WEIRD.
HEY, WHAT'S UP?!
♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: OW!
HOW FRAIL AM I?
I THINK YOU JUST COLLAPSED A RIB!
YOU'RE TOO SICK AND I'M TOO OLD!
>> I WAS AT HOME DEPOT RECENTLY.
>> Stephen: HOME DEPOT?
FOR A HOME PROJECT?
>> THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE STORY.
>> Stephen: YOU REALLY HOOKED ME WITH THE HOME DEPOT PART OF
THE STORY.
>> I TRIED TO REMOVE A COUCH FROM MY PARENT'S FAMILY ROOM.
>> Stephen: YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT AT HOME DEPOT.
DID YOU GET DYNAMITE?
>> I WAS SHOVING IT IN A WAY THAT IT CHIPPED A PAINT ON THE
SIDE -- THIS IS BORING TO YOU AS A STORY.
>> Stephen: YOUR PARENTS SAID WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT
THAT.
>> YEAH, SO I HAD TO SAND IT DOWN AND PAINT OVER IT.
SO I WAS BUYING PAINT AT HOME DOPE O. I SHOULD HAVE NEVER
MENTIONED HOME DEPOT.
THEY'RE GETTING ALL THIS FREE ADVERTISING.
SO HOME DEPOT -- >> Stephen: I LOVE THE STORY.
YOU'RE AT HOME DEPOT.
WHERE IS THE STORY GOING TO GO?
>> I GOT A GREAT DEAL ON PAINT.
YOU WAS JUST GOING TO SAY THAT.
IS THIS YOURS?
>> Stephen: NO.
I'M FINE TO SHARE.
>> Stephen: I DON'T THINK WE CAN.
>> SO THE LADY SAID, OH, YOU'RE THE GUY IN THE THING.
LET ME SHAKE YOUR HAND.
I EXTEND HERD THE COURTY THAT I DIDN'T EXTEND YOU.
I TOLD HER, I CAN'T SHAKE YOUR HAND, I THINK I'M GETTING SICK.
SHE SAID, THAT'S OKAY, I'M SICK.
SHE TURNED IT AROUND AND MADE IT LIKE I WAS THE WEIRD ONE FOR NOT
WANTING TO SHAKE.
>> Stephen: SHE THINKS IF SHE'S SICK YOU CANCEL EACH OTHER
OUT?
>> WHEN SHE OFFERED HER HAND, I WAS THE ONE WHO SAID WE SHOULD
DON'T THIS, WE SHOULD CHEST BUMP IS THAT YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT
EITHER.
DON'T GO OUT IN PUBLIC.
DON'T HELP YOUR PARENTS IS THE LESSON THERE.
>> THAT'S MY TAKEAWAY.
>> Stephen: YOU'VE DONE A LOT OF MOVIES.
PEOPLE KNOW YOU FROM THE APPLE COMMERCIALS.
ONE OF YOUR MOVIES, "GALAXY QUEST," IS CALLED A CLASSIC.
DO YOU KNOW WHO'S GOING TO COME UP TO YOU WHEN YOU SEE THEM?
CAN YOU TELL WHICH ONE OF THE FAN BASES THE PEOPLE WILL BE?
>> USUALLY, I HAVE A SENSE.
BUT OCCASIONALLY THE PEOPLE WILL THROW ME OFF.
THERE'S A GUY A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO, THIS MASSIVE GUY, A BOUNCER
OUTSIDE A BAR, TATTOOS EVERYWHERE.
A IS SAMOAN, I THINK.
BIG HANDS.
I WAS AT THE HOME DEPOT -- ( LAUGHTER )
-- AND HE SAID, YOU'RE THE GUY IN THAT MOVIE.
AND I DID DIE HARD, WHICH IS A TOUGH GUY MOVIE AND I THOUGHT HE
WAS GOING TO SAY THAT, AND HE SAID, AND I ALMOST SAID IT FOR
HIM, AND HE SAID, HE SAID, "HE AIN'T FEELING YOU NO MORE."
IT TOOK ME A SECOND, AND I SAID, "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU," A
MOVIE I DID.
AND HE SAID, YEAH, "HE AIN'T FEELING YOU NO MORE."
I SAID, I GOT IT WRONG.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: YOU YOU'RE IN
"FRANK & LOLA" WHICH HAS BEEN DESCRIBED AS A PSYCHOSEXUAL NOIR
LOVE STORY ABOUT LOVE, SEX, BETRAYAL, AND ULTIMATELY THE
SEARCH FOR REDEMPTION.
>> I COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER.
>> Stephen: YOU PLAY A LOW LIFE?
>> I DO.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S A SWOOPER?
A SWOOPER IS A GUY THAT KIND OF -- HE'S A GUY THAT SENSES
SOME SORT OF -- THAT THERE'S A PROBLEM IN A RELATIONSHIP AND HE
JUST SWOOPS IN.
HE'S ONE OF THE GUYS THAT I KNEW -- AND WHEN I FIRST WENT TO
L.A., I MET KIDS WHO HAD GROWN UP THERE AND I MET THIS TYPE OF
GUY WHO HAD COME OF AGE IN THE '80s AND '90s WHEN HIP-HOP
WERE BECOMING A THING AND THEY WERE LIKE RICH WHITE KIDS AND
THEY HAD A HIP-HOP WAY OF TALKING.
AND THAT'S THE WAY THE GUY IS.
HE'S CHARMING AND FRIENDLY BUT A SWOOPER.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE A CLIP HERE OF YOU AND YOU'RE SWOOPING
IN ON MICHAEL SHANNON'S GIRL.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: NOT A GOOD IDEA.
NO.
SORRY, WAS I INTERRUPTING SOMETHING?
YOU GUYS KNOW EACH OTHER?
>> MY BOYFRIEND, FRANK RILEY.
FRANK, KEITH.
>> SHUT UP, YOU HAVE A BOYFRIENDHAND HE COOKS LIKE
THIS?
THIS GUY'S AMAZING!
FRANK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
>> EXCUSE ME?
YOU NEED YOUR OWN RESTAURANT.
EAH, THAT WOULD BE COOL.
IT WOULD.
THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT.
>> FRANK HAS HIS WAYS.
HE'S JUST IN BETWEEN RESTAURANTS AT THE MOMENT.
>> NOT FOR LONG BECAUSE I'M GOING TO CHECK AROUND.
YOU KNOW HOW VEGAS IS.
THE HUGE CASINO JOINTS OPEN AND CLOSE.
YOU REALLY HAVE TO STAY ON TOP OF IT.
I'LL JUST GET YOUR INFORMATION FROM LOLA AND I'LL, UH, LOOK
AROUND.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU AFRAID SHANNON WILL ETHROW A PUNCH AT
YOU?
>> HE'S INCREDIBLY OPINION INTIMIDATING.
>> Stephen: I'M AFRAID TO.
YEAH, DON'T.
I MET HIM OUTSIDE THE CONTEXT OF WORKING ON THAT AND HE'S A VERY
NICE GUY.
IN THE MOVIE, HE'S VERY INTENSE AND SEVERE.
THE PROUDEST MOMENT, I THINK, OF THAT YEAR WAS GETTING HIM TO
BREAK IN A SCENE WHERE I SAID -- IT WAS THE END OF THE SCENE AND
THEY HADN'T CALLED CUT AND I JUST -- AND THERE WAS AN AWKWARD
PAUSE AND I SAID -- WHAT?
AND HE SMILED.
HE BROKE.
IT WAS, LIKE, AND THE CREW ALL KIND OF CONGRATULATED ME
AFTERWARDS.
( LAUGHTER ) IT WAS A SELFISH THING.
IT'S AN AD-LIB.
ONE THING YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A LOW LIFE.
YEAH.
I SWOOPED IN ON HIS MOMENT.
>> Stephen: WELL, LOVELY TO MEET YOU.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
YEAH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> THANK YOU.
THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME.
>> Stephen: PLEASURE.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) "FRANK & LOLA" OPENS NEXT
FRIDAY!
JUSTIN LONG, EVERYBODY!
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!
STICK AROUND!