(bright guitar music) (drawing utensil scratching)
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- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers, welcome back to our channel.
Ever felt like someone instantly made you feel important?
Some people instantly make us feel special
and light up a room just by walking into it.
So, how come?
We can't always define it, but some people have it.
They are naturally charismatic.
Charisma has fascinated social scientists for decades.
Thanks to their research,
we now know that charisma is less an inborn set of traits
but it's also something that everyone can develop
by practicing a few key behaviors
until they become habitual.
So, here are eight surprising habits
that make somebody charismatic.
One, they choose their words carefully.
Do you ever stop to think about your words
before you say them?
Taking the time to think about
how your words impact the attitude of others shows
that you care and are personable.
In an ideal world, we all want to associate with happy,
enthusiastic, and fulfilled people.
The words you choose can help other people feel better
about themselves, and make you feel better
about yourself too.
Number two, they encourage self-disclosure.
Why do people enjoy conversing with charismatic leaders?
Because they ask insightful questions that guide others
towards sharing things about themselves.
Harvard researchers studied how sharing information
about yourself impacts your brain.
The research demonstrated
that greater neural activity was shown
by the participants in the areas
of the brain associated with reward and pleasure.
This confirmed that our brains are wired
to enjoy sharing information about ourselves.
Number three, they radiate warmth.
Ever feel yourself being drawn
to certain people because they feel warm?
Charismatic people are often described
as being warm and approachable.
Research has shown that when people perceive you to be warm,
they're more likely to trust you and embrace your ideas.
Charisma can be built by making eye contact
and flashing a smile, and researchers know why.
Studies have shown that smiling is linked to our ideas
about how approachable and competent someone is.
Who knew!
Number four, they may crack intelligent jokes.
Ever had a coworker, friend, or family member crack a joke
when you feel under the weather?
Charismatic people will do this to lighten up your mood.
Charismatic people are unlikely to crack an offensive
or coarse joke that some people might find distasteful
or even repulsive, but instead will opt for a joke
that tantalizes your intelligence
or that distracts us away
from any negative feelings we may have.
Speaking of jokes, do you know what the photon said
when the bellhop asked about his luggage?
He said, "No, I'm traveling light."
Number five, they know how to steal the limelight.
Ever find yourself fully engaged
in a conversation or discussion with someone?
Do they always seem to have a spotlight floating about them?
Chances are that this person
is possibly a charismatic individual.
Generally, charismatic individuals will talk about gripping
and interesting things that are instantly able
to draw the attention of everyone present in the room.
They're able to come up with intriguing conversations
that are able to challenge and involve everyone.
Number six, they believe in themselves.
Ever feel like you have no idea what you're doing
and that you're questioning your ability?
It's not uncommon to doubt yourself
and your abilities once in awhile.
Psychologists have given it a name: impostor syndrome.
This syndrome has the ability to kill charisma.
This is not to say
that charismatic individuals don't experience anxieties
and fears.
But they don't allow them to sabotage their interactions.
Number seven, they readily admit their own failings.
Owning up to your mistakes sure is difficult, right?
In order to be charismatic,
there has to exist a level of humility,
where you can share experiences
that haven't gone well for you and what you've learned.
Humans respond better to other people
who share those lessons with others,
to reassure them that it's okay to make mistakes.
And number eight, they rarely lose their temper.
There are some individuals
who are unable to keep their cool
when things go slightly wrong.
This can be frustrating,
especially when you care about something.
This does not suggest
that charismatic people do not have a temper,
but they're more able to think on their feet
and easily come up with solutions to problems
that may come their way.
They're more able to regulate their emotions
and channel frustrations in other ways.
Perhaps the most surprising thing about charisma
is that it's really about others.
The secret to becoming charismatic is less about you
and more about how you make others feel.
But remember that everybody is unique,
and charisma is not the only thing
that makes you who you are.
So always remember to be kind to yourself too.
Did any of these describe you or someone you know?
Leave a comment down below about your encounters
with charismatics if you'd like.
Please feel free to share any thoughts you have as well.
If you found this video helpful, be sure to share it
with those out there trying their hand at charisma.
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And as always, thanks for watching.