Hi there, I'm Angela Oberer and today's good idea comes from Meeka. She writes in and says:
Well Meeka, that is a very complicated question and I don't know because I don't know
what your involvement is with your church. The second thing I don't know is are you eleven years old,
or are you thirty five? I don't know and the answer is really different. If you are eleven years
old and you're living at home, and your parents are afraid that because you're atheist you
don't want to go to church, and they are there three nights a week and you would be at home
unsupervised, that is a whole different set of things we are talking about, and this is
not talking about beliefs, so let's just talk about the beliefs for a second.
Yes, you are entitled to your own beliefs. You can believe whatever you want. Right?
No harm done. You respect the beliefs of your family and
let them respect your beliefs. And you don't need to fight about it.
You don't need to bring it up, and you don't need to fight about it, and you don't need
to make that be the drama in your home. Now having said that, let's change it to a
metaphor. Let's say that God or Jesus is the sun.
You say "Well, I don't believe in the sunshine." Okay.
So you go outside and you put on a great big wide brimmed hat, and sunglasses and sunscreen
and you pretend that the sun does not exist. That's fine. You can pretend all day or it
might be true for you. But that does not negate the sunshine for
other people. Other people can still go out and get sunburned.
They can still go out and get a sun tan. They can enjoy the sun to help grow their plants.
If you don't believe in it, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Right? So, leave yourself an opening, is my first suggestion, because let's say there
is thirty days of rain, and then one day the sun mysteriously and miraculously comes out
and you are like: "Wow, check that out". Right? But if you've been fighting against the sun,
it's going to be really hard for you to rip off that hat and say "Oh, what a miracle,
the sun has finally arrived." So leave yourself an opening, it's okay if
you want to think you are an atheist now. One day you might change your opinion, so
leave yourself an opening, and then second of all, there are common grounds in all religions
and in all family values. And those are things like faith, and compassion, and honesty and
trust, and caring and forgiveness. So find the commonalities in your core beliefs,
and celebrate those with your family, and don't focus on the things that make you different,
focus on the things that make you the same. I tell you what, it will solve a lot of resistance
in your home, and it's a good idea.
It's a good idea.