Do you want to know how narcissists hide their true agendas? By the end of this video, you're
going to know what they're hiding behind that mask. Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung. I've been recognized
as one of the top 1% of attorneys and I have written two best-selling books, Negotiate Like
YOU M.A.T.T.E.R. and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide. I've helped thousands of people
just like you go from those narcissistic toxic lives of drama, trauma, and chaos,
and I've helped them step into lives of freedom. I've shown them the way step-by-step and I do
exactly that for you right here on my YouTube channel. So make sure that you subscribe and you
hit that notification bell, and that way you'll get notified when I upload brand new content.
Now let's talk about what those narcissists are hiding behind that mask. What is their
true agenda? What is it they really want from you? So what narcissists don't want you to know is that
they are actually really scared little beings inside that massive wall of ego that they build
around them. Whether they are a covert narcissist, a grandiose narcissist or a malignant narcissist
or whatever kind that you're dealing with, even maybe it's a combination of one of those,
they are really, really just scared people. Something happened to them when they were a child.
They were traumatized in some way, not loved enough. They came to this conclusion somehow
that the world is a scary place. The world is a place that they have to survive and it's survival
of the fittest for them. It's if you survive, then I can't. If you have something that I don't have,
it's scarcity mentality at its most extreme. So what they really don't want you to know
is that they are actually the weaker one. You are actually the stronger one as their narcissistic
supply. A narcissistic supply is anything that feeds their ego. It's their lifeblood. It's their
oxygen. It's their food. It's what they need. It's what they need to suck out of from every
single person that they meet. If you want to know more about narcissistic supply, definitely check
out my video on narcissistic supply. Actually, I have a whole narcissism 101 that defines the main
terms that you need to know when you're dealing with narcissists, a whole language you were
never a hoping that you wanted to know, but here you are knowing it, right? But I will say
that once you do know the language and once you do understand how narcissists are and
that this is what it is that you're dealing with, it makes your life so much easier.
You start to go, "Oh my gosh, that's what I'm dealing with. That's the world that this person
lives in. It actually has nothing to do with me. I was just what they latched onto for supply." So
once you start understanding that, it makes it so much easier for you to start to formulate a plan
to get out of this situation. That's where I come in and that's where my resources come in and
hours and hours of free content here on YouTube and hours and hours of free content on my podcast.
I even have all kinds of other free resources, such as my Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet,
et cetera, because I want you to have the tools that you need step-by-step to get out of this
situation and have the courage to know how to do it because you have the right tools to do it.
So let's now talk more about what the narcissists are hiding, what's their true agenda.
Okay, so what they start off with is love bombing. So they're hiding behind this love bombing.
It's really the stage where they are grooming you. They're investing in you so that during the
devalue stage, they can get that return on their investment. It's really a form of manipulation.
If you want to know more about love bombing, you can check out my video on love bombing. But it's
a form of manipulation. So they're hiding their true agenda when their love bombing you. They're
setting themselves up to look perfect for you, whether it's the perfect job, the perfect business
partner, the perfect spouse, the perfect romantic partner, the perfect friend, the perfect neighbor,
whatever it is, they're setting themselves up to be that perfect person for you so that they can
get into your world, get you into their web. It's almost like a black widow that gets,
spins you into their web, and then once you're there, they can suck the blood out of you.
I know that sounds really dramatic, but that really is what it is. So they're hiding their
true agenda during that love bomb phase. By the way, they are master manipulators.
You cannot feel bad that you ended up in a relationship with a narcissist. I did too.
I ended up with two of these heinous creatures in my life. They are no longer in my life. I'm
happy to say that I have gotten no contact. I set those boundaries. I take the advice that I
give to you. I take the information that I've learned on how to be a master negotiator and
I give that information to you and I've taken my own advice and it has worked. So
don't feel bad about the fact that you ended up into their lair, their web because they
have been working on becoming master manipulators since childhood. That's their way of being.
So they know how to be charismatic. They know that they can't come in and
start devaluing you because then you'll never end up wanting to be near them. So,
but then the next stage is that part of their true agenda is that devalue stage. That's where they
start to get that return on their investment of the love bombing. That's when they start to suck
that narcissistic supply right on out of you. If you are so ready to expose them, give me a game
over in the comments. So another way that they hide their true agendas is they engage their
flying monkeys. That's when you see the birth of the smear campaign and all that. They're so good,
by the way, at hiding their true agenda of making themselves look good, making you look bad
by talking to their flying monkeys. They say things like... It's so funny.
I was just talking to a guy yesterday. He was in the UK and he was talking about how the soon to be
ex-wife is saying things to his own family, "I'm so concerned about his mental state. I'm
not really sure if he's really up to the task of having the children 50% of the time, because
I'm really concerned about him." So they hide their true agenda of taking you down, punishing
you with having... You get less time with the kids or whatever with this, "Oh, I'm just really
concerned." So that's another way they hide their true agendas, like expressing feigned concern for
the person by lining up their flying monkeys and engaging in an underhanded smear campaign.
The last one is playing the victim. They hide their true agenda of I need the supply, I want the
attention. So they play the victim, oh, life isn't fair. You especially see this with the covert.
If you want to know more about why covert narcissists are though worst, check out my
video on why covert narcissists are the worst. I cannot stand them because they are the under
the radar ones. The two that I had to deal with were both covert narcissists too. The whole rest
of the world thinks that they are so nice. They just got a bad rap and they're just the victim.
You're the one that caused all of their problems. You're the bad one. Life isn't fair for them.
So the world sees this and sees them as this good person and look at you with the Satan of
this thing, that you caused all of these problems or that you're the bad one in the relationship.
They set it up so that it's plausible that you're the bad one and that all the stuff that they did,
this plausible deniability is what they have, because it's so subtle that it's hard to pin
it back onto them, or it doesn't sound that bad if you tried to explain to somebody else what's
going on. That's what's really the crazy-making. I mean, that's where you really start to feel like
the world is all against you. They say things like that like, "No one else thinks the way you do it.
Everybody else thinks that I'm terrific." If you want to know more about the narcissist's favorite
sayings, check out my video on narcissist's favorite sayings. I have a whole video on that.
But if you are dealing with a narcissist and they're driving you absolutely crazy and you are
just so ready to take that next step to figure out how you get out of this situation, make sure
you download my free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet. It's a free ebook. I created it just
for you so that you can just have that first step to getting out of this relationship. So just go
to winmynegotiation.com and grab that. If you liked this video, make sure you give it a like,
share it, drop me that comment and also subscribe and hit that notification bell.
If you want more support, join me in my free private Facebook group. It's called Narcissist
Negotiators with Rebecca Zung. People are in there helping and supporting each other and
giving each other that feeling that you are not alone in this, because you are not. You're
not alone. You are supported. We're here to help you. So thank you so much for joining me today on
this episode of Negotiate Your Best Life. Remember, today is a great day to start
negotiating your best life. I'm Rebecca Zung. I'll see you in the next video.