How many half-naked dog-catchers does it take to solve a crime?
(hesitantly) Let's talk about that?
♪ (theme music) ♪
Good Mythical Morning!
On Thursdays we like to sit back, relax,
and do a little fishin'.
We throw our lines out and hope we can catch
a few question trout, and then we reel 'em in.
You see, we're humane fishermen, so we take those question trout,
we put some answers in 'em, and then we release 'em
back out to continue the beautiful cycle all over again.
(silence)
Is that it or are you done with your crazy analogy
- that I didn't quite follow? - That's the circle of life.
We asked you guys to ask us advice about friendship,
which has nothing to do with napping or whatever I'm doing over here.
Nothing to do with naps at all.
First question, from Bthree Cox, asks:
"What do you do if you and your friend fight over a girl?"
Okay, Bthree, we've got good news for you
because, first of all, most relationships end.
And I would venture to say that almost all relationships
that take place in middle school or high school
- will come to an end. - Ooh!
So you just take your turn. You just wait for your turn.
I mean, that's certainly what we did.
I remember, in sixth grade, I wanted to date Leslie Peebles.
I mean, I didn't want to date her. I just wanted to go with her
'cause that's what you called it.
So I was in the library one day.
I remember exactly where I was sitting, when Maurice came up to me
and he said, "Rhett is going with Leslie Peebles."
And I was like, "Pffth. Now I gotta wait my turn."
I wonder why Maurice had to break that to you instead of me.
- We had a weird relationship. - (Link chuckles) Yeah.
We communicated through Maurice.
Maybe you didn't know if I'd be upset, but I wasn't upset.
I was just like, "I gotta wait my turn."
But then I started going with Amber as my second girlfriend
after Leslie was my first girlfriend after she was your first girlfriend.
But I had to wait my turn for Amber
who was also my second girlfriend.
- (Link) But second to me. - (Rhett) But second to you.
So I was first for the first, and you were first for the second.
- And look! - It was totally fine!
We're all friends. Well, not really.
We're still friends.
And we talk about them all the time, which is weird.
- But let's just try to put it behind us! - So just wait your turn.
Not make it awkward.
This isn't about us. It's about you.
- Wait your turn. - Okay, now it's time to visit
another weird website in a segment we call
"The Internet Is a Weird Place!"
Thanks to our friends over at Squarespace.
You know what we do. We like to introduce you
to a weird website and this week we're going to be exploring
a website that epitomizes the pinnacle of friendship.
Sharing the same first girlfriend, and sharing the same second girlfriend.
No, that is a sign of friendship, but it's not the pinnacle.
It ain't the pinnacle.
- The pinnacle is fighting crime together! - Okay.
This website is called TheyFightCrime.net,
which was of course submitted to TheInternetIsAWeirdPlace.com.
Let's go there right now.
So basically it takes two unsuspecting characters
and puts them together into a crime-fighting duo.
Which is awesome!
Like... "He's a kleptomaniac paleontologist
living in the sewers beneath London!"
(Link) "She's a fast talking paperfolder with a terrible skin condition."
(Rhett & Link) "Together, they fight crime!"
(Link) "He's a forgetful misunderstood novelist
with a backpack full of scones."
(Rhett) "She's a half naked dog-catcher from the wrong side of the tracks!"
(Rhett & Link) "Together, they fight crime!"
(Link) "He's a belly-dancing web developer terrified of onions."
(Rhett) "She's a forgetful children's entertainer
prone to fits of blood-crazed rage."
(Rhett & Link) "Together, they fight crime!"
You could do this all day.
And we will, but it's one thing to just read these things,
- it's another thing to bring them to life. - Ooh!
♪ (action music) ♪
(page flips)
(Rhett) He's a patronizing hairdresser who speaks only in binary code.
001011111100.
(Link) She's a time-travelling dairy farmer
with a magical ham sandwich in her pocket!
(German accent) Where will this ham sandwich take me next?
Only time will tell.
(sparkle chimes)
(Rhett) Together...
(Rhett & Link) They fight crime!
♪ (action music) ♪
(page flips)
(Link) He's a ditzy firefighter with a love for bananas.
Hey, what's this thing? A banana? I love bananas!
(Rhett) She's a Communist receptionist with no thumbs.
Who says you need opposable thumbs to take down Capitalism?
(Rhett) Together...
(Rhett & Link) They fight crime!
♪ (action music) ♪
- (whistle blows) - (Rhett) She's a Nobel prize winning,
over-worked lifeguard with her own daytime TV talk show.
You! Get a new life jacket!
And you get a new life jacket!
I'm so tired.
(Link) He's a disco-crazed cyborg chef,
possessed by the spirit of his mother!
(robotically) No one's staying alive tonight.
(whirring)
(retches)
(as mom) Don't forget to eat your vegetables!
(Rhett) Together...
(Rhett & Link) They fight crime!
(page flips)
Uh, I don't recommend possession. It's not good for the neck.
(robotically) No, it is not.
(normally) Okay, Mythical Beasts, we need you guys to continue
to share with us your weirdest websites that you can find
on the World Wide Web and submit them to us
at TheInternetIsAWeirdPlace.com.
Click on "submit a site."
If we choose a site that you sent to us, we will credit you in the show.
And remember, you can win an exclusive The Internet Is a Weird Place T-shirt
by designing and building your own website
using Squarespace.
Last month, the theme was "nerd" and we're happy to announce
the winner of last month's nerd theme is nerd.averymiller.org.
(Rhett) Congratulations!
(Link) Whoo!
Okay, now it's a new month, which means a new theme,
a new assignment for you guys.
This new theme assignment is "hero."
We want you to create your own weird website
- under the theme of hero-- - Yes.
You're gonna click on "make your own site."
You'll get a free trial at Squarespace and 10% off the creation
of your own website, so we're making it easy for you,
greasing the skids for weirdness.
And even the term "greasing the skids" is kind of a weird phrase.
But then, when you finish the site, go back to TheInternetIsAWeirdPlace.com
and click "submit a site" and then you can be entered
into the monthly contest.
Another question!
Another question about friendship.
This one comes from Zane N. He's @dootist on Twitter.
- "How do I actually make friends?" - Hmm. How do you make friends?
Okay, this is a hard-hitting question.
This is important.
We didn't want to miss anything. We wanted to be very thorough,
so we decided to go to the gold standard
- of all-succinct (emphasis on "ct")... - (copies Link)
I was trying to say "succinct" and I--
- You left the T off. - I questioned--
I questioned whether there was a T by the time I was saying the word.
Because it seems like it would be succinct.
To answer this question succinctly, which I have not done already,
we went to the place of succinct wisdom, and that is wikiHow.
Right, and we were so blown away with the quality of the advice over there.
We thought, "We gotta bring this to the people."
We decided to do is verbatim role-play this advice out to you
on how to make friends.
(Rhett) How to Make Friends: According to wikiHow.
Introduce yourself at the end of the conversation.
Hey, I wanted you to know that I really enjoy this conversation
that we've been having over the past four hours,
where I was able to tell you about my deepest, darkest fear
of being attacked by a group of rabid hamsters,
and you were able to tell me about the time
that you were attacked a group of rabid hamsters.
Hi, I'm Rhett.
(silence)
(trophy chime)
(Rhett) Be yourself and don't act like someone you're not.
Hey, man!
You're a high-schooler, I'm a high-schooler.
This is, like, totally authentic!
I'm a narc!
(trophy chime)
(Rhett) Believe in yourself, smile, have a few laughs together.
Hey, do you believe in yourself?
- Yeah, do you believe in yourself? - Yeah!
(both laugh robotically)
(trophy chime)
(Rhett) Hold back a little bit because you don't want them
to think that you guys are best friends.
You guys aren't yet after only a few days.
Hey, man, it's been cool hanging out.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Hold back a little bit.
I don't want you to think we're best friends.
It's only been a few days.
(trophy chime)
(Rhett) Keep private information to yourself.
It's tempting to share your secrets to forge growth of a friendship.
Resist that urge.
Hey, man, you know I've been up in the forest,
the one behind the library?
That's where I've been digging this six foot deep hole.
It's gotta be big to bury your boooody is a wonderland!
(trophy chime)
(Rhett) This has been How To Make Friends:
According to wikiHow.
Well, good luck making friends!
Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode,
and thank you for liking and commenting on this video.
You know what time it is.
Hi, I'm Krissie and this is Enzo,
and we're from Cherry Hill, New Jersey,
and it's time to spin The Wheel of Mythicality.
Remember, if you want to watch Good Mythical Morning
24 hours earlier, you can do that at vessel.com/RhettandLink.
Vessel.com/RhettandLink.
Click through to Good Mythical More, where we're gonna open your mail,
do some Mythical Mail Museum action,
and we've got some insults from this generator,
where we're gonna lower each other's self-esteem.
It's gonna be fun!
"We're selling thong-less flip-flop."
Okay, guys, next stop here-- you're not gonna believe it.
- Oh, it's beautiful. - It's a flip... flop.
No, it's just a flip. It doesn't flop.
I tried to make it flop, but it won't because the thong is gone.
It's the thong-gone flip-flop.
- (Link) Get yours today. - (Rhett) The thong is gone!
- (Link) Thong is gone in the flip-flop. - (Rhett) And that's all you need to know.
- Flopless flip. - Step right up.
- (Link) Give us your cash. - (Rhett) Just log onto
FlopLessFlipFlopWithoutAThong.com.
Don't go to WithoutAThong.com though.
(laughs)
Yeah, there's more on the back, you musty thundersickle.
(laughs)
What is a thundersickle?
It's a second-hand booger plug.