- Yes. - Yes, yes.
- No. - No, no.
- Yes. - Oh, yes, oh yes.
- No.
- Ladies, ladies.
Why yes means no.
Discover the truth behind China's
business etiquette and culture.
(R&B music)
Now have you ever noticed if you ever negotiate
and done business with affluent Chinese,
sometimes they will say yes and then a few days later
you don't hear from them again.
Or they may say no, no, no and they suddenly come back
to you and they want to do a deal.
Now, why is that?
Today we are gonna explore that
and how the affluent Chinese, what they are thinking.
So, what do you think?
- They just don't want to tell you
what they're actually thinking.
- Why are they so, not secretive,
but what are they hiding?
Why can't they just be more up front
and hey here's what I want, here's what I don't want.
Why is that?
- I think they are afraid of being cheated.
They're just so afraid of like people lie to their face.
So it's easier to them to protect themselves
and not show you their true thinking, I think.
- I think in China you have to understand,
if you ever come to China, every single day
it's like they're being scammed every day.
Someone is trying to scam them, right.
I remember when we went to China,
even our phone was getting these scammers
trying to get money from us.
Oh your son is in the hospital.
I don't have a son.
And all kinds of crazy, crazy scams.
Even on the street, remember we were buying a wi-fi thing
and we tried it and - Oh yeah, SIM card.
- SIM card.
And it works on the spot, but take back to the hotel
and it doesn't work anymore.
And because they're billions and billions of people
so the scam one person it doesn't matter.
When they come here I think they don't trust
and that's why they don't want to show their true intent.
Do I actually want to buy this,
do I not want to buy this, do I want to do business?
They need to observe you a little bit more
and that's why they don't want
to show their emotions and intents so much.
So when they said, yeah sure I'm interested,
sure I'm interested.
What they're maybe saying is I'm not interested,
but I don't want to tell you I'm not interested
in case you might have some information for me.
Mui what do you think?
- Yeah, the interesting thing is
I think a lot of times the heart is set on it's a hard no.
They can not say themselves to say that.
- They want to be polite.
- They want to be polite
and they have a fear of confrontation.
They don't know what that could look like.
And there's so much fear, they would rather not get into it.
They don't want to be persuaded further either.
They don't want to be in a position
to be asked why don't you want to do this
and them having to explain themselves.
They feel a lot of pressure.
So it's easier to say, yeah, maybe, I'll think about it.
They feel better and visually also,
they can keep a smile on their face.
They can still walk away feeling like
they haven't hurt the other party's feelings.
So a lot of that is to really preserve their emotions
and they don't feel good about rejecting other people.
- And I think also, again, goes back to China
cause in China you don't want to burn any bridges.
You don't know who they know
and you don't know when you'll meet them in the future.
- There's no permanent enemy.
- No permanent friend, no permanent enemy.
So they don't want to piss anybody off,
so they yeah, sure I'm interested.
They're actually not interested, they just want
to kind of keep the relationship.
Interestingly, when I do business with Caucasian,
it's much more direct.
Hey you wanna do a deal?
You don't wanna do a deal?
Let's have a meeting, let's kind of hash out the details
and let's just sign the deal.
China is not like that, especially dealing with the Chinese.
What about, also that, when they say no
it doesn't necessarily mean a no.
They might say no, it's like, I don't know.
In China, it's the bargaining right.
If they walk into house, - Criticize the house.
- Actually if they like the house,
the first thing they would do is criticize it.
I don't like this, I don't like that,
well this is shit or I don't like the kitchen.
You're like okay, this person is not interested at all.
Actually they are very interested
because they wanted to tell you so many bad things.
Later on, they sit down with you.
Yeah I don't like all these things,
but if you give me a good price I would buy it.
So they're using that as a negotiation thing right.
- Chinese negotiation strategies are very interesting.
- They put you down first.
- I see the ones where they go into furniture store
and they enjoy everything, the conversation goes well.
And then when it comes time to pay,
they're like great we'll take everything at 40% off.
- Yes.
- And then the sales person is like wow, okay,
I'm not really ready for this.
So they kind of like to stun you on the spot.
See how far they can really push you to the edge.
I remember a few years ago, I was in Shenzhen,
and I was walking around the mall
and they were very aggressive with the sales.
Some of the people were coming out of the stores
trying to solicit me to come into the store.
And of course I was in the mall
and I went into a few of them
and interestingly enough I looked at a few things
and they automatically thought that I wanted that.
Just from picking it up and looking at it.
I remember I put on this jacket, and I thought okay.
I tried it on and it was okay.
Then I put it back and I'm like you know what, that's okay.
And I really meant it, I didn't want it.
And she's like just chasing me out the door with the jacket.
And she's like okay I'll give it to you for 10% off.
And I keep walking right.
What's happening right, she's following me.
- Thinking your using your skills on her.
- Yes, she's thinking I'm trying to cut deals.
- Haggling.
- And then she keeps following me, 20% off, 30% off.
I'm like I really don't want it
and I'm like running away.
So I thought that was a pretty hilarious situation in China.
- You gotta do that cause whatever price that they have
pretty much you can negotiate.
Everything's negotiable.
So it never trust the market price,
so they're so used to sort of marking up the price
and they know you're gonna negotiate 20-30%.
It's so common right.
- It's actually the same when you go
to tourist site anywhere in the world.
You don't automatically, whatever the price they put on,
you wanna do a 30% off, 50% discount, right.
Cause you know there's so much mark up.
- But it's interesting, I think the Chinese almost think
it's a game like Mom and Dad love to do that right.
They could go to Costco and say they want to haggle.
Why's this crap this expensive?
I want this steak, here that's just the price.
That's what you pay and that's it.
No they like to play that game.
They go back and forth, we don't negotiate.
What about no tax?
No, we have to charge tax.
What if I pay you in cash then you give me a discount?
No, it's the same.
It's very, very different.
Very, very different.
So dealing with the Chinese, how can we tell
if yes actually means a yes,
or how can we tell that no means a no?
- That's a very good question.
I think firstly, you've got to start with
like facial expression.
Maybe when you start talking with someone,
when you are engaging, when they are actually listening.
Or they're actually looking around.
- Playing with their cell phone.
- Yeah, not really paying attention.
- Body language, reading that, paying attention to that.
- I think the second thing is more like,
let's see you explain the whole situation
and then when they actually can talk,
look at the body language.
Are they more like leaning back, or like leaning forward.
Sometimes when they are leaning back
doesn't mean they don't like it.
It means they want to take back the control or the power
of the other power leaning forward.
So I have more control, now we can start negotiating.
And sometimes if they lean like this,
it not necessarily means I'm very interested,
it means okay, maybe I should go after
and finish this conversation, right.
So it's actually, you have to think maybe
two steps ahead, not just yes or no, that simple.
Mainly the body language.
- I think body language and also knowing
that they think many layers deep.
That it's not so simple to say just yes or no,
but especially if it's a major purchase,
there are many considerations.
Example again, let's go back to buying a house.
If they buy a house in here, it's just
hey can we afford a down payment?
Can we afford the mortgage?
Does my family like it?
Simple, do I like location?
But they have many, many other considerations.
Such as, well, my money is in China,
how am I gonna get it here?
What about tax?
What about if I'm here and I'll go back to China
to work but my wife stays here
and then will she like it?
Are we planning to stay here for five years
and then once I get my citizenship I want to go?
So that's it.
Or actually I want my kids to be here and learn.
There are many, many considerations not so straight forward.
So if you don't address those concerns,
or find out what those concerns are.
Then it's very difficult for them to say yes.
And I also think maybe to see
just how much time they invested with you,
I think that makes a difference.
So if they say I'm not interested, I'm not interested,
but they keep asking you, let's have another meeting,
let's have another meeting.
It means they are interested for sure.
They want to learn a little bit more
because they are investing their time.
Every time you think you are gonna close the deal,
well they'll say let's have another meeting.
And you go damn, how come I can't close the deal?
Let's have another meeting.
Here, maybe call two meetings, close the sale.
With the Chinese you may need ten meetings.
It's just the way that they are,
it's just the way they think.
So if they're investing time and they want to meet more,
it's an indicator that they're interested.
So knowing next time, no doesn't necessarily mean no,
yes doesn't necessarily mean a yes.
Yes could be a no, no could be a yes.
You gotta pay attention.
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See if you have any other questions you might have
when it comes to the China culture
and just dealing with the Chinese.
And some of the situations that might come up.
We might take some of those questions
and create future episodes just to answer your question.
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