By the end of this video,
I'm going to tell you how to get a narcissist to say yes in negotiations.
Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung
and I have been recognized as one of the top 1% of attorneys in the country,
and I've helped thousands of people go from lives of
drama, trauma and chaos to step into lives of
freedom, possibility and purpose and I want to help you do the same thing.
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So let's talk about narcissists and especially in negotiation.
So what's really going on with narcissist and negotiations?
Well thing is with narcissists
is that they have no inner sense of value.
They are literally the most insecure people on the planet.
I've often said they're like the little hollow easter bunnies.
They're like really pretty maybe on the outside,
but nothing going on on the inside
and so they literally have to get all of their value from the external.
So they're constantly trying to find external ways to get value.
So when you're negotiating with them,
if you come in and basically just
you know, start swashbuckling and say
I want this or I'm walking or whatever
that's going to be what you're going to get from them
and so if you try that,
you're not gonna get very far
because they're probably going to walk in and want to do that too.
In general, when you're dealing with them in a negotiation,
I try to start off by just first of all saying
I don't like to be in the same room with them if possible.
I do generally try to make sure that you do
have like a neutral third-party mediator if possible
because you know,
you do try to want to have like some sort of a buffer if possible,
but if you don't have a neutral third-party buffer,
that's fine too.
But you do want to make sure that you walk in,
you're confident, you're strong because
they definitely respect you more
if you're confident and you're strong.
They are a little bit more intimidated by
people who are confident and strong.
They definitely respect people of authority
more because they're actually very very insecure people.
So if you walk in much more confident,
much more strong that will intimidate them a little bit more,
stick your hand out,
shake their hand,
use their name, wear your power suit
or whatever clothes that,
you know, you feel confident and definitely you want to do that
especially if the negotiations are in person
and I definitely recommend that you do that.
If you have not had gotten my SLAY program,
highly recommend that you do that which stands for
Strategy, Leverage, Anticipating and focus on You.
SLAY your negotiation.
If you haven't checked that out dealing with a
narcissist and a negotiation setting.
I mean, a lot of people think, oh, you can never win with a narcissist
but you definitely can but you have to be
very very strong, you have to be very very direct
when you were dealing with a narcissist, for sure.
With all people,
all people want to feel seen, heard and know that they
matter in a negotiation.
With a narcissist, it even more so.
You know, they want to have their ego stroked
a lot in a negotiation.
A whole lot.
You can't go in and start like insulting them for sure.
I mean, you might even want to start off by saying,
what do you think or what's your opinion on this or even ask them to go first.
Get them to give the first offer.
I often like the other side to give the first offer
because then you can get a read on where they stand
as far as where the negotiations are.
It's great if you kind of know what the other side is thinking.
Sometimes you know, you might want to ask
for a lot more than what it is that you want
but a lot of times you also want to make sure you
kind of the throwing the other side off the scent of
what it is that you actually really really want
because especially with narcissists,
if they’re vindictive, it has been a lot of emotion involved,
they might want to make sure that you
don't get what it is that you actually really really want.
So you have to be very very careful about throwing
them off the scent about
what it is that you actually want because they
might want to make sure that you don't get that
and then you know, when you do finally come to a resolution.
You do want to make sure like
”oh, this is terrible.”
“I can't believe you got all this, you know,”
Let them think that they really really got you.
That they really really put the screws to you, fine.
You kind of have to take your ego out of it.
Let them have all the ego to it.
That again is fine because you do want
to let them feel like their ego won.
Again, a lot of the situation is going to have
to be how they look because to a narcissist,
how they look is absolutely everything.
So making sure that when they walk away
they get to look like a certain thing
especially if other people are going to know what
the results were of that particular negotiation
especially if other people that they care about
or going to know what the results are
of that particular negotiation
such as employees or neighbors
or people that they respect, people that they care about.
Window dressing people that they respect
or people that have prestige.
If you know very much how they look to the world,
how they look to the community,
how they look to people that they care about very
much is matters to narcissists more than anything else.
So always bear that in mind and making
sure it's easy for them to say yes bearing that in mind
for you to be keeping in consideration
when you are thinking about
how to get that narcissist to say yes.
When you're thinking about that,
when you're thinking about strategy,
when you're thinking about leverage,
remember always always always
that the best leverage is always
thinking in terms of narcissistic supply, always
and you're always thinking of presenting it in terms of a strategy.
This is something I teach in this SLAY program.
You know, you have to have a strategy
and you have to have leverage
and so if they've been making your life miserable,
it is because probably they were
getting some sort of supply from you
when they had a relationship with you,
and if they had the supply from you of whatever
it was that you were providing to them,
whether it was during the relationship,
you were their spouse or their business partner,
or whatever and they were getting
whatever benefit there was from that
and once that relationship breaks down with narcissist
it's very black and white and so
once that relationship breaks down,
now you're against them.
So for a narcissist are either for them or
against them and once you're against them,
now you become public enemy number one
and so they're going to trade that form of supply
by now getting supply from you in a different way
and that supply that they're going to get from
you now is in the form of jerking you around
and making you miserable and keeping you engaged that way.
That's why many times the cases don't settle.
That's why many people have this myth
of like why can't I get this case to settle?
Why can't I get this to ever be done?
The reason why is because they've traded a form of supply
and so when you think about strategy,
when you think about leverage,
you have to remember that you have to think about
what's going to be something that's going to mean more to them,
you know, as far as as potentially exposing
them and potentially threatening a form of narcissistic
supply that is going to mean more to them to
keep or maintain than the supply that they're getting from jerking you around
and you have to have a strategy around that and you know,
this is all what I teach in my SLAY program.
So anyway, this is all about how to get people to say yes and negotiations
and if you like this video,
give it a like, give it a share.
Drop me a comment.
If you agree with what I'm saying write
agree in the comments
and make sure that you grab my free
Crush my negotiation prep worksheet.
If you want to get started,
it's a free ebook.
You can get it at
winmynegotiation.com
and join my free private Facebook group
Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung
and remember that today's a great day to SLAY
and a great day to start negotiating your best life
and I will definitely see you in the next video.