I consider myself a train vigilante...
LAUGHTER
..and... I don't think you need to read any more.
..and enjoy clamping down on passengers
who break my strict code of conduct.
David. OK.
What's the code of conduct, Henning?
I just think when you travel on public transport,
you have to consider others.
Oh, was it you consider yourself a TRAIN vigilante
or a TRAINED vigilante?
No, train. Oh, train. Choo-choo!
I thought he said "trained". I thought he said "trained"! Yeah.
Would you, for the sake of some of the dimmer panellists,
would you read it again, please?
I thought he said "trained".
I have to be honest, I thought you said "trained" as well.
I think maybe you did say trained vigilante.
How many people here think he said "trained"?
AUDIENCE: Yes!
Would you please read it again?
I mean, Brexit doesn't make me leave, but you lot definitely...
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
I consider myself a choo-choo vigilante...
..and enjoy clamping down on passengers
who break my strict code of conduct.
It's interesting he says "clamping down".
What would you clamp down on?
What I would consider out of orderness.
So can we just run a couple past you? Yeah.
Someone with their feet up on the seat.
They might get a stern look. OK...
What else don't you like? Give him another example.
So, imagine I'm sitting there,
imagine I'm sort of a large, threatening figure...
My God, David, give us a minute.
..and I'm playing some, you know... Rachmaninoff.
..frightening, popular music.
Yeah, absolutely, some Rachmaninoff.
And it's very loud on my phone there in front of me.
What do you say to me?
I'll do the music, right? Yeah.
You can nod your head,
and you, Henning, can walk over and tell him.
OK. So, first... What I do is....
I haven't started the music yet.
HE BEATBOXES
Rachmaninoff, yeah?
It's RAP-maninoff. Nice!
HE CONTINUES BEATBOXING FASTER
Train's speeding up!
Should we...? Yeah.
Rob. Rob, Rob!
That's beatboxing, that's not rap. Sorry.
Am I right?
RAPS: # I get up in the morning and I have some tea
# I like to drink some tea... #
That's not, that's not rapping either.
Also rhyming is not the same - if you just use the same word twice.
Look...
RAPS: # I want some tea cos I like some tea! #
I was under a lot of pressure.
Have you ever thought about doing the new Eminem film?
You could have a proper battle!
HE BEATBOXES
If I see a really imposing figure... That's me. David.
..I'll have a look what the numbers are
in the rest of the carriage,
how confident I am.
Nah, he's too big.
All right. Kiri, do you think that Henning's been telling the truth?
No. No, of course not.
I think it would take a lot of confidence to walk over to someone
on any train carriage and just say to a stranger, "Be quiet."
I mean it in the nicest possible way -
I don't think you've got it in you.
I agree with Kiri. I think probably not, actually.
You think not? I think we don't think it's true.
You're going to say it's a lie.
OK, Henning, were you telling the truth, or were you telling a lie?
Well, to the best of my knowledge, this story is...
..true.