- Hello, I'm Jamie Campbell Bower
and stupidly, I'm here with Buzzfeed
to read some thirst tweets.
God help me.
(upbeat music)
Right, okay, here we go.
Tap to reveal.
"I need Jamie Campbell Bower to read thirst tweets,
"but not mine."
(Jamie laughs)
Too late, we're here, we're doing it.
So it's happening.
"Imagine going out with Jamie Campbell Bower.
Imagine your boyfriend being prettier than you,
that would suck."
Well, first of all, we're all beautiful,
and thank you for calling me pretty.
Second of all, got any dresses I can borrow?
"Vecna is so sexy, I want him so bad."
What's wrong with you?
Come on, pull it together.
Man's got tendrils and a big left hand.
Maybe that's what you're into, I don't know.
(Jamie laughs)
This is mental.
(Jamie laughs)
"I had a sex dream,
"and Jamie Campbell Bower was the object of my desires,
"so that's cool."
Hey, it's my body, get it outta your mind.
Take me for dinner.
(Jamie laughs)
Good Lord.
"Vecna looks so (beep) sexy in that.
"I'm not even joking.
"Come here my vei-"
You're like all caps.
All caps, not even really a cohesive sentence there,
you're really, like something's going on there.
I mean, appreciated.
Oh, my goodness, good Lord.
"I want to slam Jamie Campbell Bower against a door
"and make out passionately
"and have rough sex afterwards.
"There, I said it."
(Jamie exhales)
I mean, you know what you want.
I'll tell you that much.
You definitely know what you want.
Thank you, I guess?
Thanks, cheers.
Good God.
"To be honest, I understand Vecna's motivations
"'cause if I went from looking like a hot piece of ass
"to that I would be mad too." (Jamie laughs)
It goes a little deeper than skin deep,
but I mean I kind of like the vines.
The nails are great.
There's a good nail salon in the Upside Down,
I'm telling you.
"Me: sees Jamie Campbell Bower photo on phone.
"Me: licks screen."
Well, I mean, that's just dangerous.
I hope that you keep your phone
in a safe and sanitized place at all times,
because otherwise you're gonna be getting ickies.
"I will never be fully satisfied with my life
"until I lick Jamie Bower."
I'm not a lollipop, I'm a person.
"I would never call anyone daddy,
"unless it's Jamie Campbell Bower.
"Oh my God, I'm on my knees.
"He's so hot."
Oh, not even your own father?
I'm not your father, I'm not your dad.
(Jamie laughs)
And also, get up off your knees, it's dirty on the floor.
"The guy who's Vecna in Stranger Things," that's me,
"Is so effing hot.
"Please Vecna, choose me to (beep) you."
Wait, you've been watching the wrong show.
Vecna's not having sex with anyone in the show.
I'm not choosing people to have sex with.
I'm literally killing them.
If you think that that's what sex is,
you need to call me and we'll have a long talk, okay?
'Cause, (exhales), my gosh, where do you find these people?
God, (laughs).
No shame, no shame.
"Thinking about what it would be like to turn up in your bed
"and see Vecna first thing when you wake up.
"Does he moan?
"Does he squelch wetly?
"Does he get his coffee before or after the wet squelching?
"I have questions."
I like you've really thought about this, Joe.
Does Vecna moan?
Well, absolutely.
It's more of a sort of low groan.
Does he squelch wetly?
Well, between you and I, Joe, he does.
He does.
He's a very squelchy man.
Does he get his coffee before or after the wet squelching?
Now, this is interesting, because this, to me,
sounds like you have personal experience
of a pre-squelching coffee.
"Dear Jamie Campbell Bower, can I just suck your hand?"
How big is your mouth?
"Vecna: Your time has come.
"Me: To spank me, daddy."
Jesus. (gentle music)
Good Lord.
(Jamie laughs)
There's a level of air that just seems to land
after each one of these
which is getting progressively heavier.
(gentle music)
Wow. (gentle music)
I'm sorry.
(Jamie laughs)
I'm just sorry.
I'm sorry.
"Thank God Vecna isn't real 'cause what if I start moaning
"while he's sucking a life out of me?"
(Jamie laughs)
Wait, there's so much to that.
That's a very smart tweet 'cause that's multilayered.
"I want Vecna to blow my back out
"and destroy my insides, daddy."
I wonder how many people from the Netflix team
are on this Zoom and having to listen to this right now?
Because I'm so sorry everyone.
"Dear Jamie Campbell Bower, bite me,
"punch me in the face, spit on me,
"run me over with the bus, curb stomp me,
"break every bone in my body.
"Please and thank you and I love you."
Wow, wow, that's a lot.
That is a lot.
There's a lot of visuals there for me to process.
I'm a very visual person and that's--
It's just kind of upsetting actually,
if I'm being totally honest, I'm kind of sad.
I love you, you'll be all right.
We'll get through this.
Holy Jesus.
My God.
(Jamie sighs)
I feel like I'm in high school,
I feel like I'm back at school.
Not that this happened at school,
but there's a weird feeling on the inside.
"Nobody told me
"Jamie Campbell Bower was in Stranger Things until now.
"Oh my God, I've wanted to suck that man off since 2013."
It's a shorter period of time
than I've been trying to suck my own self off.
So, (laughs).
So, you know, me first, thanks.
I feel like I've gone 19 rounds with Mike Tyson.
It's been an absolute disaster.
Thank you so much for all your weirdness.
I love it and I appreciate it.
And please, don't forget
to go and watch Volume 2 of Stranger Things.
The V man's out there, thanks.
(Jamie laughs)
- [Narrator] Oh, yeah, damn right.
(upbeat music)