400.
Check the door means to listen at it, not put several rounds through it.
401.
When a virgin sacrifice is demanded I will not look knowingly at the paladin, netrunner
or Hermetic. 402.
No matter how many people I need to feed, I will not use MDC weapons to fish.
403.
My rigger does not get a bonus if his log in code is up, down, up, down, left, right,
left, right, A, B, A, B, Start.
404.
No subcontracting dungeon crawls. 405.
I will not name my character for the power gaming campaign Generic Cleave Path Fighter
#7.
406.
The first rule of Finnegan school is not "Do not talk about Finnegan school"
407.
I will not blow all my starting funds on hookers and booze.
408.
If I have to sacrifice my fifth dot in resources to afford it, I can't have that gun.
409.
I will not cast darkness at the magic missile.
410.
If the NPC is on the cover of the rulebook, I can't kill him.
411.
It is bad form to shoot a god while he's monologuing. 412.
I will not try to skip to the main boss dressed like a singing telegram.
413.
The chaotic neutral alignment is forever closed to me.
414.
If my stats are STR10 DEX10 CON8 INT16 WIS17 CHA15 I'd better not be the half-orc barbarian.
415.
My archmage will not join a party running Keep on the Borderlands as a ringer.
416.
I will not substitute accuracy with enthusiasm.
417.
The solution to all my problems is not Crinos. 418.
Steel toe boots do not add to my AC.
419.
Spankings generally will not change evil alignments. 420.
"For the King" is an example of a good battle cry.
"Smoke the Mother" is not.
421.
I will not convince the GM's noob GF to play a psychotic combat monster.
422.
My marital status does not affect in anyway my fear checks.
423.
Even if the rules allow it, I cannot play a duck.
424.
I cannot liven up the adventure with snappy musical numbers.
Even if they did it on the TV show.
425.
Chainsaws and butter churns filled with bees do not use the same weapon skill.
426.
Thirty minutes after a massive battle against Cathayans I am not bloodthirsty again.
427.
I cannot do anything I saw Jackie Chan do once.
Even if I am in Home Depot at the moment.
428.
I will never create a plan that first hinges on the invention of velcro.
429.
If the character isn't deaf, his only language cannot be AMSLAN.
430.
Spray paint is not a substitute for proper camouflage.
431.
We will not implement any battle plan that includes the underlined words "And hope they
miss a lot" 432.
Cannot put anything featuring Calvin on my starfighter.
433.
I will not find a peaceful solution to the adventure just to piss off the power gamer.
434.
Never again will I convince a player to keep a character nicknamed "Stumpy McLunger"
435.
No bribing the DM's new GF with chocolate so he'll go easy on us.
436.
Even if my cleric has the domains of Wealth and Healing doesn't give me the right to start
an HMO. 437.
From now on my Highlander will refrain from dancing the Can-Can.
438.
The ability to afflict everyone in 150' with herpes is not an acceptable super power.
439.
I will not start the game as a toddler just to rack up massive stat bonuses as I age.
440.
I am forbidden from trying to merge the best features of automatic weapons and manual transmissions.
441.
There is an upper limit on the number of people a bullet will go through.
442.
When told to be subtle, playing a foul mouthed chain smoking squirrel is not a good choice.
443.
Zombies are not infectious in D&D.
So I should stop shooting PCs in the head if they are bitten.
444.
Whether it's fair or not, my thief will not insist we take turns checking for traps.
445.
I will not admonish my fellow paladin with 'a little less lawful, a little more good'
446.
Ninjas are not ablative. 447.
If the NPC is critical to the plot later, I cannot crit him 4 times in one round.
448.
I will not attempt to unionize the brutes. 449.
I will not switch to an entirely new class every single time I level.
450.
When told to distract the villainess, they didn't mean with a surprise marriage proposal.
451.
I cannot start the campaign conjoined to another character.
452.
Not allowed to convince the entire party to base the group only off Gary Oldman characters.
453.
I will not redefine the term 'trapdoor'. 454.
No staking a vampire with anything larger than his chest cavity.
455.
Styrofoam is not an appropriate component for golems.
456.
I cannot put my familiar up for stud. 457.
I did not invent the wet tabard contest.
458.
"When I'm in the mood" is not a valid trigger for a contingency spell.
459.
The vampire clan with vissitude is not pronounced 'Karl'
460.
I'd better have a real good excuse for being a necromancer if I'm lawful good.
461.
Tasha's Uncontrollably Hideous Sister is not a real spell.
462.
1st Watch is not for accordion practice.
463.
Even if it is hip to be square, I still can't play a Modron.
464.
2nd Watch is not for starting up pick up rugby games with wandering monsters.
465.
After a successful black ops, I will not leave paint bombs under all the boardroom's seat
cushions. 466.
3rd Watch is not clothing optional.
467.
There is no 'accidentally' slipping a Smite Evil into a pillow fight.
468.
If the party wakes to find a chariot upside down in a fountain, I'd better not be the
prime, usual or only suspect.
469.
If I wake up to find black cloaked figures in my room, I will not immediately point them
to the halflings' room.
470.
Sarcasm is wasted on Imperial Stormtroopers. 471.
I am not fluent in any dialect of gibberish. 472.
When my cleric is told to "Buff the Elf", I know exactly what it means and may not miscontrue
it in any way.
473.
No matter the CR of the monster, no naked pookie dances upon victory.
474.
Black and Decker does not make prosthetics. 475.
Can't trick the rest of the party into babysitting my kids.
476.
The alignment of 2 years olds is not automatically Neutral Evil.
477.
I cannot spay the Vargyr. 478.
Castillians do not always end their sentences with the word 'Ariba!"
479.
As a matter of fact, Dwarven Battlegarb in no way resembles Angus Young's stage costume.
480.
I will not address Fauner Posen with 'Jawohl mein Liebenaffe'
481.
I am forbidden from doing anything that ends with a snarf, rimshot or spit take.
482.
No uploading porn to my CO's HUD.
483.
No downloading porn from my CO's HUD.
484.
If the word 'Mullet' appears anywhere on my samurai's character sheet, he's vetoed.
485.
My Mossad agent's battlecry is not "Torah, Torah, Torah"
486.
No how tough the encounter was, I will keep the congratulatory ass slapping to a minimum.
487.
Halfing mating rituals do not include beer can crushing, power belching, or Lynyrd Skynyrd
trivia.
488.
If I have to pull out of the dungeon because I'm low on HP, no filing Workman's Comp.
489.
No making up any strange hobbies just to get out of taking watch.
490.
Quoting Bob Dobbs while charging into battle is unusual.
Quoting Bob Newhart is right out.
Quoting Bob Dylan is just silly.
491.
If my Faith is 4 and your Faith is 2, that doesn't mean Jesus loves me twice as much.
492.
Beer Boy is not an acceptable hireling for the dungeon crawl.
493.
I will not base any Media character off Milo Bloom.
494.
I will not use a time machine to invade Germany on September 2, 1939 by surprise, securing
Dutch domination of Europe.
495.
No supplying my own canned applause.
496.
While Bardic music can increase skill rolls, bad jazz adds nothing to seduction rolls.
497.
If somebody in the party has a Wisdom or Intelligence lower than 8, I am forbidden from talking
to them.
498.
A firefight is not the best time to tell the party my Medtech has a fear of blood.
499.
No inventing the minefield. 500.
My superhero will not spend points to fly just because he's too lazy to walk.