In Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, he gives us a timeless piece of wisdom for overcoming
our obstacles.
He says, “the mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting.
The impediment to action advances action.
What stands in the way becomes the way.”
On the surface, this sounds like a contradiction.
How can something that stops action advance action?
How can what stands in the way become the way?
If I come across a road block, an obstacle to my action, how does this further my action?
The simplest way I know to explain this is that understanding the problem is the solution.
Let’s say I’m driving my car, and I come across a blocked road.
So I have a little conversation with myself.
Q: “What’s stopping me from reaching my destination?”
A: “The blocked road.”
Q: “What’s stopping me from overcoming the blocked road?”
A: “Nothing.
I have to take a different path.”
So by understanding the problem, I arrive at the solution: I have to take a different
path.
But now I have a new problem: I don’t know what path to take.
So I have another conversation with myself.
Q: “What’s stopping me from finding the right path?”
A: “My knowledge of the area.”
Q: “What’s preventing me from obtaining knowledge of the area?”
A: “Nothing.
I can ask someone or use GPS.”
And again, by understanding the problem, I arrive at the solution.
So this works for simple navigation problems, but does it work for more complex ones?
Quincy works at a big media company where he has to do a lot of presentations with co-workers
and upper level management, but he has a fear of public speaking.
Quincy might question himself like this:
Q: What’s stopping me from public speaking?
A: My fear of embarrassment.
Q: What’s stopping me from not being embarrassed?
A: I care what people think of me.
Q: What’s stopping me from not caring what other people think?
A: I need people to think well of me to survive here.
Q: What’s stopping people from thinking well of me?
A: My ability to satisfy their expectations.
Q: What’s stopping me from satisfying their expectations?
A: Understanding their expectations.
Q: What’s stopping me from understanding their expectations?
A: Nothing.
I can ask them, or I can send a company wide survey through e-mail.
So by understanding his problem, Quincy arrives at a solution.
He sends a company wide survey through e-mail, asking his co-workers what they expect from
him.
Most of them say they want a list of the top 10 Tik Tok trends of the last quarter.
Quincy knows he can easily deliver this information, and so he no longer feels stressed about speaking
publicly.
He knows what his co-workers want, and he knows how to give it to them.
In his mind, the presentation is no longer a presentation: it’s more like a conversation.
But this process unfolds differently if Quincy’s problem is different.
What if Quincy doesn’t have a list of the top 10 Tik Tok trends of the last quarter?
What if he knows their expectations but doesn’t have the relevant information.
The questioning process looks like this:
Q: “What’s stopping me from satisfying their expectations?”
A: “I don’t have the relevant information.”
Q: “What’s stopping me from getting the relevant information?”
A: “Nothing.
I can e-mail the right peers and get it from them.”
So this time, Quincy arrives at a different solution.
He reaches out to people that do have the data and no longer feels stressed.
Again, he knows what his co-workers are expecting, and he knows he can deliver it.
But what if the data was actually not accessible?
The questioning process might look like this:
Q: “What’s stopping me from satisfying their expectations?
A: “I don’t have the relevant information.”
Q: “What’s stopping me from getting the relevant information?”
A: “It’s completely inaccessible.
No one can get it in time for the presentation.”
Q: “What’s stopping me from changing their expectations?”
A: “Nothing.
I can send an e-mail out right now.”
So in this case, because Quincy knows he can’t get the information his co-workers are expecting,
he sends an e-mail out and changes their expectations before the event.
He lets them know that the data their expecting won’t be available, and he prevents them
from being massively disappointed at the presentation.
This takes stress off of Quincy and allows him to focus on meeting their other expectations.
I went over three variations of Quincy’s problem, but this process could be continued
indefinitely for any problem.
Every problem is unique to the individual and requires an individual process of questioning.
Marcus Aurelius wrote that, “the impediment to action advances action.
What stands in the way becomes the way.”
By understanding our problems clearly, we arrive at a solution.
By engaging in a genuine process of self-questioning, of asking ourselves “what’s stopping me”
over and over, we eventually arrive at an answer where nothing is stopping us from taking
the next, appropriate action.
Or in other words, understanding the problem is the solution.
But that’s just my opinion and understanding of Marcus’ words.
I’d love to hear
your perspective` in the comments.