-Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite
#ItShouldBeIllegalTo stories from you guys.
This first one here is from @wantpeaceforall.
He says, "It should be illegal
to post sweaty pictures on social media.
We get it, Karen. You work out."
[ Laughter and applause ]
You still look the same, Karen!
This one is from @cj710.
-Ooh, cj710.
-He's 7'10".
He's like a gentle giant.
Yeah, 710. 7'10".
He says, "It should be illegal to let Netflix ask,
'Are you still watching?'
Yes, Netflix, I am in fact still watching
my eighth straight episode of 'Grey's Anatomy.'
Leave me alone!" [ Cheers and applause ]
-Thank you!
Power saver mode on your TV.
-Leave me be.
This is from @lizzieisbusy.
-Oh, she is. [ Laughter ]
She's very busy.
She says, "It should be illegal to give me only one sauce
when I order a 10-piece chicken nugget.
I require a minimum of one sauce per three nuggets!"
[ Cheers and applause ]
It's simple math! -Illegal.
-This one's from @dontatme --
-Oh, well, then don't.
[ Laughter ]
-30. She says, "It should be illegal
to write checks at the grocery store.
Get a debit card and be confused about
whether to use your chip or swipe it like the rest of us."
[ Applause ]
No, actually we only do -- sorry, we only do --
-Chips? -What's that?
No, we only check your swipes.
-Okay, so I should swipe it.
-No, we take checks.
-Wait, you take checks?
-Just put the chip in and wait for the beep.
Don't remove it. -Okay, wait a second.
-Don't take it out!
Seriously, a lot of screwed-up things will happen.
-I'm not gonna take it out.
-Oh, aisle four was just destroyed.
Please stop touching the chip.
-All right, I'm taking it -- -You got to sign it.
You have to sign it.
You have to pay for the person behind you as well.
[ Laughter ]
This one's from @megan18495602.
Very easy.
How come you never tweet me, you idiot?
-Well, why don't you just tweet me --
-Just do -- it's so simple.
-Okay, what's your name on Twitter?
-@Jimmy2419149 -- sorry, 1-5-3.
You're, like, not my friend. I'm unfollowing you.
-No, I'll get it. No, no, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Give it to me again. One more time.
-What were you just doing?
-I was erasing numbers.
-Were you on Whatsapp?
-I was on my calculator. I was writing on --
[ Laughter ]
I was on the wrong app.
I just learned how to erase on a calculator.
3-5-8-4.
-Just do it the way in the rhythm.
2-3-4, blah, blah, blah. -Yeah.
-Don't do it in twos.
[ Laughter ] -Here's my number.
9-2, 3-6-4. -1-9, 1-4.
Wait, what?
-How am I supposed to -- -1-1-1-9-9-1-1-1-9-1-1.
[ Laughter ]
-4-8-4-8-9-3-8-7.
-This is from @Megan18495602 -- -Empire.
[ Laughter ]
-She says, "It should be illegal to wear pants so tight
that your front butt shows." [ Laughter ]
No, come on, hey. -Hey, come on.
-Come on. -Come on, front butt.
That's rude.
-This one's from @agillenwater98.
-Agillenwater98?
-Not Jillen Water.
-Gillenwater? -Oh, Gillenwater.
-Gillenwater?
-A -- This is from agillenwater98.
-A gill in water? Maybe it's like a fish reference.
-No. [ Laughter ]
No -- Gillen, G-I-L-L-E-N.
-Like Gilligan from "Gilligan's island"?
-No, that's Gilligan, what you just said.
So, it's Gillen.
But I see where you made the mistake.
-Yeah, yeah, I made the mistake. I misheard.
I thought you said Gilligan.
-You thought that I said "Gilligan's Island."
-Yes.
-But instead I said agillenwater98.
-Well, Gilligan lives, is -- he's surrounded by water.
-No spoilers. I've never seen the show.
-Are you serious? [ Laughter ]
All right, I don't want to ruin it.
They go for a three-hour cruise.
-Is that where they go and their fantasies happen?
Just don't spoil it.
This is from @agillenwater98.
He says, "It should be illegal to sneeze
more than twice in a row.
You get that one 'bless you.' After that, you're on your own."
-Oh, cold blooded. [ Applause ]
-Then you're in Satan's hands.
-Yeah, oh.
-This one's from @margesondanny.
He says, "It should be illegal to give me a merchant receipt,
a custom receipt, and a third receipt every time
I go out to dinner.
What am I supposed to do with all this documentation
for my nachos?" [ Laughter and applause ]
Illegal! -I signed customer copy!
-This last one's from @mariabrandont.
She says, "It should be illegal
to listen to Adele 'Someone like You' more than five times a day.
The whole dorm already knows you broke up with Josh.
Move on, girl!" -Oh!
-There you have it. Those are our "Tonight Show" hashtags.
To check out more of our favorites,
go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.