-Here with my friend Action Bronson, everybody!
[ Cheers and applause ] -Yeah!
-His new cookbook "[Bleep] That´s Delicious:
An Annotated Guide to Eating Well"
is on stands now.
Welcome back to the show, Action.
-Thank you. Wait. Hold on.
Let me put this down for one second.
-Please.
-I brought a phenomenal pie of pizza for you
from my neighborhood spot.
-This is your neighborhood spot in Queens?
-Give me a hug. -Okay, there you go. Thank you.
-Now we do a spin. -Okay. Oh, good.
-How are you? -I´m good. How are you?
-I´m all right? Good to see you again.
-It´s good to see you, too.
We don´t usually set up a pizza station, but for you, anything.
-Thank you. -You´re welcome.
-So, I brought -- I just presented myself.
[ Laughter ]
Like I´m on Broadway. -Yeah.
-I brought a mother [bleep] --
Yo, I´m telling you, these guys invented this.
It´s an Afghani pizzeria in Flushing, Queens...
-Okay. -...called Napoli.
-Napoli. -That´s not in Afghanistan.
-No, Napoli is famously not in Afghanistan.
-So we have baked ziti on the pizza.
-Oh, my goodness.
Ziti on the pizza.
-And there was a couple of slices put in beforehand.
-All right, so this a low-carb option.
-Definitely ready. -Definitely ready, all right.
Can I pull mine out? -Pull it, please.
Just be careful with that.
Be careful with your hand.
-Oh, mine broke. -Ah [bleep]
Give me this. [ Laughter ]
You take that. -Okay. I´ll be over here.
-I´ll get this one out. -I´ll be right over here.
Oh, wait. -Damn.
-Yeah, well, we got you one of those.
You feel like -- oop.
-It just pushed it further back. [ Laughter ]
All right. -Put one of these in.
-So, I got a couple more.
I´m gonna put a couple more in this.
-Okay, great. -All right, here we go.
-This is going -- -You want to help me?
-This is off to a very good start, yeah.
-Grab that. -Yeah, I´m gonna grab that.
-Be careful. -And I´m just gonna slide it in.
-Right there, not too far. -Yeah, no kidding.
-Yeah, there it is. Grab one more.
-Grab one more. There we go.
-There it is. I precut it for you.
-Thank you. Oh, that´s so nice.
That one´s gonna be on fire. Okay, we´re gonna let --
-Yeah, it´s gonna go on fire. -Okay. And then --
-Don´t worry. -You have soda.
-I do have soda, but wait.
Let me serve this up to you nicely.
-Okay. What are you gonna put on it for me?
-I´m gonna put this here. -Okay.
-Like a good old-fashioned slice.
-Okay. -Put that there.
You have your [bleep] terrible parmesan cheese.
-Terrible?
-It´s like [bleep] Parmesan from the pizzeria.
-But do you like that? -It´s amazing!
-Okay. -It´s phenomenal.
-Okay, great.
-Now, you have to season the pizza.
[ Laughter ]
You know, you let it snow right there.
Oh, my, look at that.
-That´s great. -That looks -- Beauty.
-Okay. Can I have a bite yet?
-Wait. Hold on. -Okay.
-And this classically is paired with a Coke from the fountain.
-Okay, fountain soda. -Classic.
-Okay. -Right there.
-It´s been a long time since I´ve had a fountain soda.
-What, are you on a diet? What are you doing, South Beach?
-Yeah, I´m doing South Beach.
-Are you still lifting?
I asked you earlier, you still on the package, the juice.
-Yeah. I´m still taking some low-end steroids, yeah.
[ Laughter ] -You´re micro-dosing on test?
-I take a little bit of steroids every morning.
This is wonderful. -You like that?
-You think yours are done already?
-No. -Yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-But it´s -- -Can I have a bite yet?
-Yes. -Okay, great.
-Have it. Tell me how you feel about that.
-I´m very excited.
[ Light laughter ]
-How do you feel? -That´s really good.
-Yeah? -Mm-Hmm.
-Let me snow mine. [ Laughter ]
-I want to talk about your book. -Please do.
The [bleep] did I [bleep] come here for?
[ Laughter ]
-Not just here to make me pizza. [ Applause ]
So, Action, there are some recipes in here, right?
-There´s about 40. -There are about 40 recipes.
There´s a lot of beautiful pictures of food.
-There´s about a hundred things that I love.
-It is. It´s a hundred things you love.
And there´s some personal stories.
-There sure is.
-And some of them are sad, Action.
-Some? Is this about fat camp?
-No. [ Laughter ]
This is a story about a chicken cutlet.
-Oh, please, tell me. -And it really --
It brought a little tear to my eyes.
You wrote, "I did once have an incredible chicken katsu
in Japan that I ordered out of a 24-hour vending machine."
-That´s true. -You still remember it?
-Yes, I got underwear that was worn, also,
and I sniffed the underwear while eating the katsu.
[ Audience groans ]
They´re crazy in Japan.
-Well, you´ve ruined that page.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-I´m burning everything.
-You´re burning everything.
This one´s a good -- This got extra crunchy on that side.
-There you go.
-I´mma put that over there for later.
-Should we turn off the oven so that other one --
-No. -Okay, great.
-Let it go on fire. Let the mother [bleep] burn.
-Let the mother [bleep]
So, you have your show on Viceland.
-"[Bleep] That´s Delicious."
-"[Bleep] That´s Delicious," as on the book.
-I´m also gonna be a competing late-night host with you soon.
-Are you? Wow! What´s the show?
-I don´t know yet. -Okay.
-I don´t know the name of it.
But it´s a late-night show on Viceland.
I just haven´t come --
Do you have any names, like, [Bleep]
-I´m not gonna give you name if you´re my competition.
[ Laughter ]
The battle lines will be drawn. -But we´re friends.
-Yeah, we´re friends. I want to talk about your show.
You have a dating show. -Oh, hell, do I ever.
-Called -- What is it called?
-"Hungry Hearts." -"Hungry Hearts."
-I pair people together on dates.
I´m a curator of love. -Oh, I´ve always thought so.
-I really am. I´m a curator of love.
I send people on very unique dates all over the city.
-Like where?
-Well, I sent some people to a sausage and pepper truck
that´s parked in front of a cemetery.
[ Laughter ]
-And how´d that go? -They hit it off.
-That´s great! -They hit it off,
because one of the father was a santero,
which is like some crazy [bleep] -Uh-huh.
-And then, the other lady, she liked playing with ouija boards.
[ Laughter ]
-You nailed it. -I nailed it right on the head.
I don´t -- I mean... -You got a new album, too?
-"Blue Chips 7000."
-You are a man of many skills! -Oh, man.
Music, book, television, porno.
-[ Laughing ]