- Heya playa.
Starting a conversation with someone
you don't know can feel like the hardest thing
in the world to do sometimes.
You have to have the courage to do it,
the confidence to keep that conversation going,
and not to mention if you like them,
the ability to attract them, too.
So, where do you begin?
Or how do you begin?
Don't worry, in this video I'm gonna share a few tips
on what you should do to prepare for a conversation
if you have no clue what to talk to them about.
♪ This is The Josh Speaks ♪
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- Within every conversation there's a certain structure
that if followed can make the whole thing go smoothly.
The basic parts to a conversation are the opening,
the follow-up and the call to action.
Now, when opening a conversation
you have full control over this.
You can choose whatever you want to talk about
which is why it's usually the scariest part.
It doesn't have to be that way though.
In fact, there are a few things that you can do
to help set the narrative as to why you're talking to them
and what you're hoping to get out of it.
The easiest thing to talk about
would be something observable.
Try paying attention to what's going on
around you in that moment.
For example, did something interesting happen in class?
Are people waiting around for some reason
to get inside the lunchroom?
Or are people gathering in the halls
and talking about something?
Making a comment or raising a question about something
that the person you're talking to can observe as well,
allows them the opportunity to see it
and comment on it, too.
Another thing you can start a conversation about
is something relevant to culture today.
For example, did a new movie just come out?
Did something happen in the news?
Or is there an event coming up
that you're really looking forward to?
Relevant topics are great things
to start conversations about usually
because the average person is somewhat clued in
as to what's going on and if they're not,
it gives you the opportunity to explain it to them.
Most people wanna generally be in the know
about what's going on and that's gonna be your opportunity
to take it to the next step.
But before I get into that,
you might be thinking okay, that's great.
But what exact words should I use to start the conversation?
Personally, I think starting with a question
is a great route to take.
You can always say something like,
hey can I get your opinion on something?
Or hey, quick question.
I wanted to know what you think about this.
After asking that initial question,
you can always follow-up with the reason I ask is,
and then explain to them why your curious about that topic.
If you use both of those pieces,
then what you've done is set up the opening and the reason
as to why you're talking to that person
so they aren't sitting there going,
why are they talking to me and what do they want?
After opening up the conversation,
you can then move into the follow-up.
This is the part of the conversation that's gonna vary
because it really depends on the type
of answers that they give.
Once they give you their answer on something,
try to find a way to go deeper into the conversation
so you can learn more about them
and keep the conversation flowing naturally.
For example, if you ask someone if they saw a movie
that just came out and they say well, I wanna go see it,
I just haven't had the time to.
That can lead you into a natural follow-up of asking them,
hey how often do you go to the movies?
What was the last movie you saw in the theaters?
What's your favorite movie?
What kind of movies do you like to watch?
The possibilities really become endless.
This follow-up technique can be repeated over and over
as many times as you need to as long as the conversation
doesn't become boring and dull.
Along with going deeper into a conversation,
you can also go wider with it.
If you're talking about movies,
you can expand that to TV shows, what they watch on Netflix,
what kind of concerts they like to go to,
who their favorite YouTuber's are and more.
Finally, once that conversation has taken off
and the two of you start opening up to each other,
it's time to start thinking about leading
into your call to action.
Remember, the whole part of starting the conversation
was to get to know them better
and the best way that you're going to get to know them
is by hanging out with them one-on-one.
Your call to action could be centered
around what you guys were talking about.
For example, if you were talking about movies
and wanting to go see one in theaters,
you could always make plans together to do that.
Try to always lead the conversation into a next step,
whether it's hanging out in person,
meeting up for lunch, or talking online.
Don't ever leave it on a note where you both just say,
okay, well bye, and that's it.
What do you think though?
Do you sometimes have trouble starting conversations?
Which of these three steps do you tend to get stuck on?
Leave your comment below and we'll talk about it.
If you really feel stuck and don't know
what to talk about at all,
spend some time being mindfully aware
of the world around you.
See what you're curious about
and bring that into the conversation.
That way if you find yourself in a situation
where you completely run out of things to say,
you can always jump to your curious topics.
What I think is that you should start
with small conversations.
Start talking to people and saying hi,
and asking them questions.
You don't need to have full-fledged conversations
to start learning how to do it.
Everything is small steps.
So, the more and more you push yourself
to start conversations with people,
even if they're small ones,
the more it'll become second nature for you.
I know you have the skill to do it,
you just gotta put it into practice guys.
As always, love and peace.