When life feels out of control, it’s important to know how to stay calm, and in his Meditations,
Marcus Aurelius, the last of the five good emperors of Rome, offers us several insights
on how to do this.
By practicing the following five virtues, you’ll be able to embrace uncertainty and
stay calm in most situations.
The first virtue is acceptance.
Marcus wants us to accept things the way they are and not deny reality.
In his Meditations, he wrote,
"Something happens to you.
Good.
It was meant for you by nature, woven into the pattern from the beginning."
If you believe that everything that happens to you is meant to happen to you, then you’ll
more easily be able to accept it.
And once you accept your current situation, you will instantly feel a little more calm
knowing that where you are right now is where you are meant to be and that this is not an
accident.
Accepting the present is the first step to changing your future.
The second virtue Marcus talks about is mindfulness.
In Meditations, he says,
"Forget everything else.
Keep hold of this alone and remember it: Each of us lives only now, this brief instant.
The rest has been lived already, or is impossible to see."
Marcus wants us to focus on the present moment and our next action, because the past is merely
a memory and the future is uncertain.
What is certain is what you are working on right now, and if you do it with the best
of intentions and to the best of your ability, that’s the most that you can do, and fate
will handle the rest.
By focusing on the present moment, you will start to feel more calm.
You will eliminate the anxiety that comes from worrying about the unchangeable past
or the unknowable future.
Focusing on what you are working on right now is the most productive use of your time.
The third virtue Marcus talks about is discrimination, which means being able to differentiate between
the things that are in your control and the things that are not.
He writes,
"Remember, nothing belongs to you but your flesh and blood—and nothing else is under
your control."
What’s most under your control is your body, mind, and actions—or in other words, your
self-expression.
You can control how you express yourself in this world, but you can’t control how the
world will react to you.
You can say something with the best of intentions, but it can still be misinterpreted.
You can spend years working on a song, film, or book, but you can’t force people to like
it.
You can dress up warmly, but you can’t stop it from raining.
Your actions and self-expression are in your control, but the reactions of the world are
not.
When you realize and accept this, you will feel a little calmer, knowing that most things
are out of your control and your only responsibility is to focus on your own actions.
The fourth virtue Marcus talks about is judgment.
He writes,
"…don’t treat anything as important except doing what your nature demands, and accepting
what Nature sends you."
Marcus warns us to be smart about the things we judge as important.
He believes that the truly important thing in life is to live virtuously, in pursuit
of “justice, honesty, self-control, [and] courage…”
Or in other words: being a good person.
When we judge the wrong things as important, such as wealth, fame, or looking good in front
of others, we tend to feel more anxious, because these things are largely out of our control
and depend on other people.
But when we value the right things as important, such as living virtuously and being a good
person, we feel more calm and peaceful, because being a good person is always under our control.
The fifth virtue Marcus talks about is adaptability.
He writes,
"Frightened of change?
But what can exist without it?
What’s closer to nature’s heart?
Can you take a hot bath and leave the firewood as it was?
Eat food without transforming it?
Can any vital process take place without something being changed?
Can’t you see?
It’s just the same with you—and just as vital to nature."
Change is the nature of the universe.
All things are in constant flux and motion.
The world is constantly moving forward, so if you stand still, you will get left behind.
An unwillingness to change is unnatural.
If the times are changing, you have to be willing to change with the times.
When you accept that it is natural and mandatory for yourself and the world to change, then
you will feel more calm.
So by practicing these five virtues—acceptance, mindfulness, discrimination, judgment, and
adaptability—you can be more like Marcus Aurelius, the last of the five good emperors
of Rome, embracing change and staying calm—even in uncertain times.