The following meditation is led by me, Tara Brach.
To access more of my meditations or join my email list, please visit
tarabrach.com
As you come into stillness, take a few full breaths, a nice deep in-breath... and a slow out-breath...
...and again a nice deep, full in-breath, filling the chest, filling the lungs...
and then a slow out-breath, feeling the sensations of the breath, as you exhale...
and then letting the breath resume in its natural rhythm. Just feel this body breathing...
and take some moments to scan in your life, and you might notice where your relationships
with others, or in your own behaviors, you feel like you've turned on yourself in
some way. You might be in a situation where you're in conflict with another person but
feeling bad about yourself...
it might be that you've turned on yourself, you're at war with yourself for a way that you're behaving
as a parent... a partner... a friend... You might be judging yourself, or down on yourself for
something to do with work, or maybe it's for an addictive behavior...
...Where do you get into the trance of unworthiness, the trance of not okay?...
...and let your attention go to that place where you know you get into the trance
and for now just let yourself kind of get close into it so you can feel
the sense of how it is to be living inside that mind-state of, the belief that in some
way you're falling short...
...you should be different. Perhaps there's a sense of not lovable, not ok, not respectable...
...something's wrong...
We begin the RAIN of self compassion by recognizing... oh, this is trance, at war with myself...
Recognizing the thoughts and feelings of the trance... Just allowing that all to be
here right now, and making room for what's here: the "A" of RAIN is just to allow...
...this is how it is right now...
We begin to investigate with curiosity, with gentleness.... and so what's it like when
I'm in this trance?... and you might sense what your believing about yourself and other
People, if that comes quickly, just to know, what's the belief right there?
I should be different?... I'm bad because I'm hurting others?... no one could love me?... I'll always fail...
Just sense what might be built in there, what kind of core belief?...
...and most important, feel your body and sense when you're in the trance of
unworthiness,. what is it like in your body?... what's your throat feel like, your
chest, your belly... when you're really feeling bad about yourself?
The most important part of investigating is connecting with the embodied experience... Sense the most vulnerable
part of you, where you feel the worst... Sense what that part most needs...
the part that feels deficient, not okay, what does it need?... Does it need to be seen in a
different way, and loved?... understood, held?...
...Just sense that... and as you're listening into that, as you're feeling into that place in you
that is feeling not okay, you might experiment with putting your hand on your heart..
just lightly, a very tender touch... this is the beginning of... turning towards loving, towards the "N" of RAIN,
the nourishing... and sense the possibility of offering what's most needed
inwardly... Perhaps there's words that you might offer... Sometimes it's
"Okay, sweetheart" -or- "I'm sorry and I love you"
Thich Nhat Hahn says, "Darling I care about the suffering"... is a powerful phrase... Or, it might be as the minister
that you sense the love of God, or the divine, flowing through you, or for me that
kiss on the brow of pure care.. Sense the possibility of calling on love and
offering it inward, nourish with self compassion...
Each time you nourish the self-compassion, let it be a fresh, creative exploration of what
really allows you to feel love
flowing into your own being... You might imagine light, warmth, poring in... Just the
intention to offer care inwardly begins to decondition the tendency to be at war...
The meditation becomes full, when after the steps of RAIN, we simply notice...
..Who am I... if I'm not any longer believing anything is wrong?....
...sensing that tenderness, the openness, the spaciousness of being, when we're not at war...
From the teachings of Bapuji, the Indian master, he says, "My beloved child break your heart no longer"... each time you judge yourself you break
your own heart. You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your
vitality. The time has come, your time, to live, to celebrate, and see the goodness
that you are. Let no one, no thing, no idea or ideal obstruct you. If one comes,
even the name of truth, forgive it for its unknowing. Do not fight, let go and
breathe into the goodness that you are...
[CHIMES]