How to be a Canadian
Follow these steps and you too can be like us, eh?
Step 1: Learn the different regions of Canada.
Still working on the rigs?
Naw, I got laid off
If you don't get to work you're not coming to the bar you greasy bluenoser.
There's always next year.
Dude, I got the munchies
Can we get sushi?
Aye, again I spilled the mustard on my favourite shirt.
Pay tribute to our fallen soldiers
by gently stabbing yourself with a poppy.
Oh sweet! Timbits!
Oh, great, you guys ate all the good ones again.
Eugh, you should really take off that poppy.
This poppy?
No, I can't take this poppy off.
You see, our forefathers,
They sacrificed their lives
For the rights and for the freedoms
That we enjoy to this day
The least I could do is wear this
One, little flower, for
Remember the golden age of Canadian television
♫ Body Break theme music ♫
Yo, can I trade you ketchup for all dressed?
Sure.
♫ Sleep Country Canada ♫
♫ Why buy a mattress, anywhere else? ♫
Ding!
♫ Drugs, drugs, drugs. ♫
♫ Which are good, which are bad? ♫
The North American house hippo
Is found throughout Canada and the Eastern United States.
How come I've never seen a house hippo!
Have you seen a house hippo?
Learn Canadian jargon
Try your hardest to push the middle out of a toonie.
Ah, she'll go. Give me a try, eh?
Cool!
Wait...
Isn't defacing money illegal?
(Police megaphone) Come out with your hands up!
Love your Canadian celebrities.
Oh, Justin
You're so dreamy.
Everything about you is so hot.
Your hair,
Your tattoo,
Your powerful elbows
Suzy,
Come quick
The Barenaked Ladies and Gordon Lightfoot
Are on George Stroumboulopoulos!
Wait a second, what are you doing?
Uh... Just doing my social studies.
I'll come join you on the chesterfield.
Respect the Canadian legal system.
Hey there, fellas.
Oh shoot! It's the RCMP!
That graffiti there is in direct violation
Of section 22b of the Official Languages act.
English and French please.
Recognize that whether you love or hate hockey,
You'll probably get drunk because of it.
Don Cherry: And that's why I'm wearing green and this beautiful hat
They're talking about Don's clothing!
Drink!
Don Cherry: Kids...
Drink!
Ron MacLean: We gotta go quick. We got a minute forty-five...
Ah, they're running out of time, drink.
(Don Cherry plays invisible piano)
Oh, yo, he's doing the piano thing.
Drink, that's two, that's two
That's two
Don Cherry: (Nonsense)
Everyone finish your mickeys
What?
I thought we were drinking 2-6s
Learn the Canadian version of American things
Take advantage of free healthcare
Hey did you hear they made O Canada gender neutral?
What, you mean chicks can sing it now?
How's she look, boys?
Get on it and give'r, bud!
♫ Body Break Theme ♫
So it looks like you're already covered for you cast
Your CT scan
And the new titanium leg
The only remaining balance is
$17.38 for the crutches
17 bucks!?
Sorry but I'll be speaking to my local MP about this.
Understand the metric system, half of the time.
Welcome back to "Who Wants To Win A Million, Eh?"
Are you ready for your final question?
Yeah, let's give'r
For one million Canadian Dollars...
Is it A, 40?
B, 80?
C, 65?
D, 200?
Oh, I don't know, I don't know kilograms
Now remember
You can earn a bonus lifeline
By listening to one Nickelback song in it's entirety
I think I'm going to walk.
Never accept substitutes for real maple syrup
Woah! You're not gonna use that crap, are ya?
Yeah?
Tastes nothing like the real thing
Whatever, it's all the same
Mr. Russell, that's the 3rd time this month
I'm gonna have to write you up for contraband
Can't you just give me a warning?
Sorry
20 hours of community curling?!
That's like my whole weekend
And finally,
Know the difference between a good and a bad poutine
Little boy, what seems to be the matter?
My poutine...
Your poutine? What's wrong with your poutine?
The gravy wasn't hot enough to melt my cheese curds
Oh my God
I swear on the ghost of John A. Macdonald
That we are going to find out who did this to you
And when we do, we are going to file
A formal complaint!
What did we miss?
Leave a comment in the comment section below, eh?