If you concentrate solely on your career you can get a long way in your career
And I would say that that's a strategy that a minority of men
Preferentially do that that's all they do they worked like 70 80 hours a week. They go flat out on their career
They're staking everything on the small probability of exceptional status in a narrow domain
But it's it's hard on them. They don't have a life. It's very difficult for them to have a family
They don't know how to take any leisure activity like they get very one-dimensional now it may be that that
Unidimensionality is the price you have to pay to be
exceptional at one thing right because if you're going to be something like a genius level mathematician and you want to do that for a
Scientist say it's like you're in your lab
You're in your lab all the time you're working 70 hours a week or 80 hours a week you're smart
You're dedicated you're unidimensional
And that's how you get to beat all the other people who are doing that it's the only way
but the problem is you don't get a life now if you love being a scientist, and you have that kind of
focus of mind well first of all you're a rare person and second you're gonna pay for it, but fine, more power to you, but
But it's a it's a risky business to do that, you sacrifice a lot for it you know and I would say most
Often if you're speaking about having a healthy life that isn't what you do you spread yourself out more
So you know you have a family you have some things that you do outside of work that are meaningful to you and useful
You you have a network of friends
That that those three things alone are four things alone plenty to keep you well oriented
And then if one of those things collapses you know
Everything doesn't go
Now the price you pay for that is the more you strive to optimize that balance the less likely you are to be
Fantastically successful at any single one of them, but you might have a very you know if you couldn't consider your life as a whole
That might be a winning strategy one of the things Carl Jung said I really like this
He thought that men went after perfection and women went after wholeness so they're different they're different
value, they're different. There's something different at the top of the value hierarchy so perfection would be
Stake it all on one thing and look for radical success not that all men do that because they don't but we're talking about extremes
At least with regards to the men that do that the wholeness idea is more like well. I want I want
It's like I want one thing in my life to be a hundred and fifty percent
Or I want five things in my life to be 80 percent
Well
There there's a lot more richness in a life where you have five things operating at eighty percent
But you're not operating in any of that any of them at a hundred and fifty percent
so and I really believe this because I've watched men and women go through their careers now for a long period of time and one
of the things that
There's lots of things that produce this
But one of the things that I've noticed is that mostly women in their 30s bail out of uni dimensional careers
They won't do them. They won't they won't put in the 80 hours a week that they would have to put in in order to
dominate that particular area
and it isn't the reason that they won't do it is because they decide it's not worth it and no wonder because
Why would that be worth it you have to ask yourself that it's like well you want to be an outstanding scientist
It's like okay really really. That's what you want because that means that's what you do
Because you're competing with other people you know they're smart
They're hard-working
And if you want to be at the top you have to be smarter and work harder than any of them and working hard means
Working long hours. I mean it also means working diligently, but in in the final analysis
It's also an additive issue if I'm smart and hardworking and I can crank out for 70 hours a week
And you do it for thirty it's like in two years. I'm so far ahead of you you will never ever catch up
so
Anyways, and I think partly maybe part of the reason to that women are oriented that way more than men
I think there's two reasons this one is
Socioeconomic status does not make women more attractive on the mating market
But it does make men more attractive and the second is women's time frame is compressed
Right because guys can always say well. I'll have kids later, and they can say that till they're like 80
Whereas women it's like no way man. You got to get it
You got to get it together by the time your let's say 40, but really probably by 35
But definitely by 40 because otherwise it ain't happening and that's bloody dreadful like the most unhappy people you ever see
No
One of the common routes to extreme unhappiness is to want children and not have them
I wouldn't recommend that
You know you see couples who were in their 30s one couple in three over the age of 30 has fertility problems. That's defined as
Inability to conceive after one year of trying one in three
So it's worth thinking about because people are very very unhappy if they want to have kids, and then they can't man
You're in the medical mill for ten years if that's if that's what happens to you