I'm home!
[everyone] Happy birthweek!
[laughing]
Mom.
Oh.
Dad.
...make a wish
Okay.
Oh!
♪ Chicago, Chicago ♪
♪ It's a city that's exciting! It's a city that's inviting! ♪
♪ It's a city for a woman just like me! ♪
♪ There's a lake They call Lake Michigan! ♪
♪ I think I'm really fitting in! This city is my perfect cup of tea! ♪
♪ Chicago! Chicago! ♪
Honestly, anything Trina does is the right way.
That should just be a life lesson.
If you're trying to get somewhere in life, do what Trina did.
Just kidding, haha, totally kidding. Haha.
Look, Chase, I talked to some people around here.
I know you used to like Zoey.
Is that true or not?
I'm over it.
Good... because I'm your girlfriend now.
And ya can't be all buddy buddy with a girl that you used to like.
Go tell Zoey, "You can't be friends with her anymore."
Say, "Hello" to our Query girl, Trina Vega.
Hello, Sinjin.
You're not supposed to talk.
I'll talk if I wanna talk.
What has two thumbs and is already having a fantastic birth week?
This girl!
Check out my kicks.
Fazzini boots.
Got 'em at Simone's on sale.
Ah!
Oh, don't be sad. You could borrow 'em, after I'm dead.
Hey, guys, having fun?
- Yeah. - Totally.
I swear, Nora, this may be the best party of the year.
- Really? - Yeah. Thanks for inviting us.
No... thank you for coming.
Excuse me.
[music playing]
♪ I don't wanna make a scene ♪
♪ I don't wanna let you down ♪
♪ I try to do my own thing ♪ ♪ And I'm starting to figure it out ♪
♪ But alright ♪ ♪ Keep it together, wherever we go ♪
[mumbling]
I'm not hearing any music anymore.
Uh, excuse me. Could I get a photograph with you for my wall of celebrities?
She'll be glad to take a picture with you. After she's had her dinner.
Uh. But I got to go to a play right now.
She eats fast.
Ah. Ah, dang it!
What am I going to do now?
You can't miss getting a picture with Jackie Bonet.
I hear she never eats at the same restaurant twice.
I have also heard that.
The doctor says I ain't never gonna walk again... not even on cructhez.
But I'm gonna tell you something,
"I scared... I'm a woman, in Chicago... who's scared."
Most likely to be world's coolest human
to ever exist in the world.
Whoa. Whoa, who's she?
This is my girlfriend.
Oh. So, when were you gonna tell me about this?
Can I just have my pizza?
Oh, your-- You want your pizza?
Okay. Yeah, sure.
Let me just get that for you, huh?
We're over!
Guess who I just met in first class?
- Who? - Perez Hilton!
- Shut up! - I swear. Row 1, seat B.
Oh, man, please tell me you didn't bother Perez Hilton.
I had to.
Trina!
Do you realize how powerful he is in Hollywood?
He could make me famous overnight.
So you talked to him?
I tried to, but then he called the flight attendant,
who called the sky marshal and then
they escorted me out of first class.
So why are you all smiley?
I got his camera.
So when you're on a really cool show, like Victorious, you acquire
a lot of really interesting swag and memorabilia throughout the years.
So I brought a bunch of it to show you.
Something cool, I have three of these.
But I used to think this was, like,
the coolest thing you could ever have in your whole entire life.
And I still do.
♪ Can't stop You know we'll never give it up ♪
Oh, I think this coconut milk is affecting me.
♪ ...Air ♪ ♪ In this life ♪
- Oh, yes. - ♪ You gotta live it up ♪
♪ So everybody put your hands in the air ♪
- Oh. - ♪ It's an all night party ♪
♪ That we're getting into ♪
- Roman soldiers! - ♪ If you think it's all over ♪
♪ Then the joke is on you ♪
Oh, sweet mitosis. Look what she can do!
Oh look! Now she's a hot dog!
I can balance things on my face.
I'm a little rusty.
I'm putting avocado on my face to give it a natural glow.
I use male makeup.
This is the Prada dress... um, that I wore
in The Fairly OddParents movie and these are Tootie's earrings.
And if you look back at the movie, you'll see me in this.
Imagine that.
I got to keep it so, I was really excited about that.
[grunting]
- Mine! - Mine!
15-love
Tori, you messed up my shot.
Ah...
Ooh, how does she get her feet so white?
Oh.
Well done, Foonyi.
God Mandy, you are an alien!
Ah!
Oh my gosh! How come you never told me--
- Oh! - Oh!
Help! Get her down!
Stop the play! Hurry!
Well, I guess someone should get this on video.
Help! Help! Help! Help!
Ah, I happen to have 977 followers, so plth to you.
You have 977 followers? How do you have so many?
'Cause I'm amazing, I'm pretty, I'm smart, I'm pretty.
And how many followers do you have?
314.
[laughing]
I am so much more popular than you.
Let's dance.
Foolish, child.
Bring it on, Boo.
M'jiggy!
[fighting]
Okay, I can picture me, sitting on a pony,
wearing a bright purple hat.
I-I-I was wearing the purple hat, not-not the pony.
Do they even make pony hats?
Anyway, I was looking fabou!
Take two!
[music playing]
♪ I don't wanna make a scene ♪
♪ I don't wanna let you down ♪
♪ I try to do my own thing And I'm starting to figure it out ♪
- Can't you make her sound better? - Yep.
[music playing]
You just turned off her mic.
Um-hm.
[music playing]
- Sound better? - Yeah.
[music playing]
No may ko-mas!
No may co-mas!
No may ko-mas!
Oh.
That's the show Trina's been bragging about?
She said it was "high-quality television with top-notch acting".
Oh, no.
Mall lock down, another moose on the loose.
Hashtag, Portland problems.
[alarm sounding]
I think you should probably stay in here until they round it up.
How long do you think that'll take?
Last time, it was only a few hours before they caught the moose.
[gun firing]
Ah.
Looks like they jack hammered a hole through our ceiling.
Okay.
- That way we could make sure-- - Hey! Shawn Quincy.
[laughing]
I'm Trina Vega and this is your lucky day.
- Ah no. - I told her not to come.
I'm a singer and a dancer.
And if you give me half a chance,
I swear I will blow your mind with my talent.
Ah! Oh, yeah. No, maybe this isn't the best time.
But just text me after the party.
♪ No, please don't carry me away ♪
We got really lucky we got to win a few of these.
And I wish you could see through this.
But I'll tell you, it's just really spectacular.
There's like people dancing. There's this--
Oh, my gosh, there's acrobatics happening.
Oh my-- what is that?
There's pizza, you guys. There's pizza in here.
One, two, three and four!
Five, six, seven, eight!
Now, one, two, three and four!
Five, six, seven, eight!
Now, one, two!
Okay... most of you, that was awesome.
Trina... you keep trying.
Can I wear a song? No.
Can I eat a song? No.
Can I flaunt a song and make anyone jealous?
No, you failed!
Here. I am so sorry, this is all I got you.
What is this?
A flash drive with the song on it.
How many gigs?
I don't know. Eight?
Kinda small.
I'm doing it.
I'm a woman in Chicago... learning how to walk again!
Thanks to Doc Stevens and my new plastic legs!
Take that, Chicago!
You're no match for a woman like me!
From now on... I'm calling this city... She-cago!
Yes, you're welcome.
You're all welcome.
Yes, it's okay to laugh.
I'm hilarious.
♪ You might be crazy ♪
♪ Have I told you lately That I love you? ♪
♪ You're the only reason ♪ ♪ That I'm not afraid to fly ♪
♪ And it's crazy ♪ ♪ That someone could change me ♪
♪ Now, no matter what it is I have to do ♪
♪ I'm not afraid to try ♪
♪ And you need to know that ♪ ♪ You're the reason why ♪
Happy birthday, Trina!
Thanks!
So, where's my present?