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Namaste everybody I bow to the love and
the light that's absolutely in you Lisa
arano here the Breakthrough life coach
and today I'd like to read a letter to
you that I received from Donna in New
York and she's a young woman that is
becoming more and more aware she's only
21 I believe and she's written me asking
me about a specific Dynamic that's
taking place in their in her home that
she's watched unfold and she's curious
about how this Dynamic may affect her as
she gets older she writes Dear Lisa
thank you for all that you all your free
YouTube videos because of your channel I
know now that I'm not crazy my house
looks so normal on the outside but on
the inside everything just feels so
wrong in my house my mom is the
controlling and erratic one while my dad
is the people pleasing codependent my
dad's mom left him when he was three and
as a result he was raised by his dad my
dad watched his dad chase after the
approval of other women his whole
life my dad was neglected by his father
but he'd never admit it he always speaks
about my grandfather like he was a
martyr could my dad be putting up with
my mom who is beyond abusive to my dad
because on some level he has glorified
his own dad what a great question is the
mirror you you've talked about in the
child's subconscious mind is this the
I'm sorry is this the mirror you've
talked about in the child's subconscious
mind I wish I could snap him out of it
but I know I can't I am only 21 years
old but I'm afraid that my dad is
programming me to put up with abuse
abuse like this the abuse his dad
programmed him to accept please help me
understand my name is Donna and I from
New York and I'm all right with you
using my name thank you Lisa I think
it's first of all I'm just like
flabbergasted that you know Donna is 21
years old and is able to make these
connections and understands even the
term codependency and people pleaser
think it's awesome so the awareness is
key that's awesome Miss Donna so keep it
up and keep expanding your mind and keep
gaining that perspective so
um to answer your question is this the
mirror that exists in the subconscious
mind I believe it is so we have to
understand what happens right so
children are born and they look outside
of themselves they're looking at Mommy
and Daddy and they're being downloaded
by their outside experience that's just
what happens so children learn to assign
value and meaning to what they're
experiencing on on the outside by what
Mom and Dad place value on you know what
Mom and Dad believe in what Mom and Dad
don't believe in how Mom and Dad react
what they React to what they don't react
to what does Mom and Dad believe is
important what do they don't what they
don't they believe is important what do
they value what they what do they not
value um and so we're being programmed
so it sounds like your dad was was
obviously traumatized by his mom
abandoning him or at least that's how
your dad took it right
um so your dad was three and from there
on it sounds like his dad was pretty
depressed perhaps and began chasing
after the approval of other women
probably devastated that his own wife
left now I think that you're right in
that if I put myself in the place of
your dad who is grieving the loss of his
mom not around anymore who needs his dad
but Dad is chasing after other women
seeking other women's approval
you don't say whether or not he was ever
able to actually able to gain that but
you sort of set the stage for um a
codependent perhaps who was seeking the
approval of of other woman women wounded
that his first wife left he's got a
child to take care of and in the process
of seeking outside validation in
romantic relationships is neglecting
this little child at home your dad your
dad marries your mom your mom according
to you is very erratic and abusive is
what you said um and very controlling
and your dad is tolerating it some for
some reason you're getting the idea and
he must be giving you that idea that
your dad glorified your his father so I
think you're right I think that the
ideas the belief and the attachments and
the values that your father has placed
on his grandfather maybe clouding his
ability to set a boundary Maybe clouding
his ability to really honor his
experience so if your dad's brain is
associating good or uh martydom or um
pleasure with sticking it out with an
abusive other then it's going to be very
difficult for your a father to recognize
that the relationship is actually
dysfunctional and it's actually causing
him pain your father won't be able to
see that because he's already perhaps
decided that my father was a good guy he
stuck around he chased women he catered
to women and my father was a good guy so
I guess if I stick around and I cater to
women then I'm a good guy so I think
that you're right I think that the
mirror um and when I say the mirror what
I'm talking about um we're downloaded as
children and then if you imagine your
third eye what is it looking at it is
looking at the the screen um that exists
within our minds
and so we have all the subconscious
programming and then we have the
subconscious programming reflects these
images onto this screen inside inside of
our mind and then eventually the screen
that we're observing internally begins
to morph and become created in the outer
world and that's what we call reality
and so if we're not very careful and if
we don't dedicate our dedicate our loves
to being a Our Lives to being awake we
are Doom to repeat our past because the
natural state of man is unconsciousness
it is not Consciousness and we have been
created to be able to exist on autopilot
our breathing is autopilot our cells die
and turn over on
autopilot excuse me um we have the
ability to see it's on autopilot we have
a conscious field that is reacting to
things that are coming up through the
subconscious field on auto pilot and if
we are very lucky we will find ourselves
on our path and on our life's
journey
contemplating what is reality if we're
very lucky we will begin to awaken to
the idea that the mind is dualistic that
there is a ying and yang to all that is
including the mind it is both
subconscious and conscious at the same
time and if we're very lucky we'll begin
to understand that when when we are
unconscious we are actually creating
life holographically we are repeating
our past we don't even realize it um and
if we're very lucky we begin to learn
how to awaken from the Dream from the
Sleep State and we begin to change our
lives and we begin to change what we see
internally and then eventually what we
see outside of us will shift too but the
the Matrix or that we equal what's
called reality The Matrix that Matrix
doesn't shift until the Matrix inside
our head shifts first so the fact that
you're 21 years old and you're aware of
this information to the extent to which
you're aware of it now is just fabulous
I mean I wasn't aware of this at 21
years old so I'm just I'm just so proud
of you and I'm so encouraged that you're
out there and you're understanding that
yeah your dad is programming you to
believe that in sacrificing yourself and
and um becoming a martyr for the sake of
this relationship even though it's
abusive that there's some Glory and
Honor in that and if you're not very
careful once your brain Associates
pleasure with something it's very
difficult unless you're aware to shift
it and to sometimes make really good
decisions for yourself so if your dad is
associating pleasure with being a modder
and tolerating abuse then he's going to
be outside in an ability until he wakes
up to realize that this relationship is
actually bringing him pain so I think
you're right I think you are being
programmed and conditioned um with a
certain set of beliefs that are in my
opinion faulty it's never okay to um not
think that your needs are important um
it's not okay to sacrifice yourself for
the sake of a relationship um it's never
okay to be in a relationship with
somebody who isn't willing to sacrifice
as much as you are it's never okay to be
the only person in the relationship with
your with your your finger on the pulse
of the relationship what's healthy is
mutually satisfying relationships that
built that are built on respect that are
that ensure that this um feeling of Love
is going to come back that you can flow
that it's a reciprocal experience you
know we're all entitled to that type of
um lovely relationship it has to start
with the self however and I'm so I am so
honored Donna from New York to know that
you have this level of awareness and you
know just know that Dad is probably
unconscious and in his unconsciousness
and in his own wounding from the past
being abandoned by Mom and being raised
by a codependent people pleasing dad who
chased after women's approval know that
in your father's experience of his
father you know perhaps to D the pain of
being aband abandoned he he had to tell
himself a story about his father and he
chose a story line that made him feel
good about who his father was and so now
that story might have become his own and
if we are not very careful we take on
the stories of our parents remember that
life is holographic until we wake up
because we are so lucky that as human
beings we have the power to change our
destiny when we wake up and begin to
change our minds so again Donna thanks
so much for reaching out keep growing
keep believing yourself and keep valuing
yourself be good to others be kind and
expect to be treated the same way back
and all will be well Namaste dear ones I
bow to the love and the light that is
absolutely in you bye for
now my name is Scott
and uh I work for a large healthc care
company the head of as a head of
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marketing I found out about Lisa's work
not long after I'd gone through a pretty
horrific divorce and I was talking to my
sister who had been introduced to to
Lisa and she said Scott you know it
seems like you're doing a lot of
compulsing to to to avoid
feeling and she said I have something
you might be interested in and I saw
Lisa's uh first YouTube video and it was
just the beginning of opening a door to
to um being accepting of where I was but
but also that there's hope and there's
help for somebody like
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me I first uh found Lisa's work when I
was at a very transitory part of my life
I had also just begin to wake up wake up
through therapy around the extreme
dysfunction that had happened in my
childhood believe
Lisa's experience and work came to me at
the right time because uh I had lost
hope the fact that everything that
happened to me as a child and everything
that I did as an adult to survive and to
cope was not my fault and that that was
really helpful for
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me I think the the other thing she says
is this is not easy work uh she's damn
right about that but I really do believe
the hard work is is worth it although
sometimes I doubt it I still still
believe
it m Lisa's work has impacted my life
significantly has really helped me to
understand what happened to me
it's helped me to understand my default
programming and it's helped me to
realize that I can reprogram and re
reorient to a a much more happy and
joyous
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life I believe that
Lisa's
message for myself and for others and
people throughout the world is is one
that will release a lot of people that
are walking around in silent desperation
uh through her information and the way
she presents it I call it recovery
uncensored uh I think for a lot of
people that will resonate and help them
on their road to their true
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selves I found her work to be the icing
on the cake it was filling in something
that was missing and I think the way
Lisa puts it is something that that
resonates with me it reinforces things
that I knew but maybe at I'm more at a
subconscious level than at my my
learning level the automatic responses
that she talks about I I I'm now much
more aware when that's happening but I
kind of uh understand too how this
impacts me physiologically and mentally
so it's helped me to tie a lot of things
together the first thing I would like to
say to to to Lisa is thank you and
uh thank you for your journey
and thank you for your ability to do the
work and share it with others and I
believe there are no accidents in this
world and it's no accident that uh I've
been introduced to your work because
it's I know it's going to lead me back
home to a place I've always wanted to be
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