From seat belt conspiracy theories to random condemnations to hell, the Planet Dolan Crew
re-enacts some of the best true stories from our subreddit about the craziest things we’ve
ever heard on public transportation.
I’m Danger Dolan, and today, I’ll be your narrator.
Number 10 was Submitted by MysticMrsMoonscar Honeybits
Honeybits was on the subway with her friend and her mom.
In their cab was a thin white dude, who looked like he would lose a fight with a worm.
He was on his phone, and at first he was whispering.
Honeybits noticed that the people around him were giving him weird looks as he started
getting angrier.
Eventually he stood up, and yelled into the phone, "PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG AND GET OUT
OF THERE!"
He angrily got off at the next station.
Unfortunately, that was Honeybits’ stop as well.
Honeybits was walking behind him, when a homeless-looking man walked up to him and asked, "So, what
happened?"
The man said that Tyler didn't get the money to buy the drugs.
Honeybits, her mom, and her friend all stopped and stared until the men turned around and
yelled, "Whaddaya want, girls!?"
After that, they ran off.
Number 9 was Submitted by maddog197x Grgak Grgak was playing video games while riding
a streetcar, and as he did so, some of the people sitting behind him were starting to
get louder in their conversation.
Grgak was about to tell them to quiet down, but then he caught a snippet of the conversation.
One of the guys was saying how much he wished Pokemon were real.
So Grgak thought for a second to actually join the conversation, rather than shush it.
But then the guy just explained exactly how he wanted to have sex with every single member
of his Pokemon team.
Grgak ended up getting off at the same stop as that person, and spent the next few minutes
trying very hard to avoid eye contact.
Number 8 was Submitted by agilasigma Pandora Pandora was once riding a late night bus going
home.
The bus was pretty empty with only her and a couple a few rows behind her.
Pandora got some sleep because it was a long ride.
She was woken up by a sound coming from behind her.
She discreetly turned around to look, only to see that the source of the noise was the
girl giving the guy a blowjob.
Pandora tried to go back to sleep, but it was hard to do, given the circumstances.
She didn’t even know if they were done by the time she got off to her stop.
Number 7 was Submitted by Magnaillusion Mimi_Up One day, Mimi_Up sat in the middle of her
bus, with an scruffy-looking old woman two rows in front of her.
The woman herself didn't strike Mimi as odd, until near the end of the ride, when she suddenly
stood up, turned around, pointed her finger DIRECTLY at Mimi and yelled at the top of
her lungs, "You need to go to church or you'll burn!"
Then, she just turned and sat back down, as if nothing had happened.
Everybody was sort of shocked, but in the end, nobody did anything, and the ride ended
without any further incidents.
Mimi never figured out what prompted the outburst, or why she was the target.
Number 6 was Submitted by MrTalkingMachine Pringle
Pringle was at the bus terminal waiting for the driver to start letting people in, when
he heard two girls in their twenties girls talking about seat belts.
Specifically, they were talking about the government conspiracy of seat belts being
meant to actually kill you rather than saving your life in an accident.
They explained it like this: If you don't wear a seat belt, and the vehicle crashes,
your body can move around and land slowly and “safely” somewhere else.
A seat belt, on the other hand, forces a sudden stop to kill you by sudden deceleration, and
seat belts that only go around the waist retain your butt in the seat while your torso is
free to shoot forward, smash your head into the back of the seat in front of you, and
snap your neck.
Pringle assumed that neither of these girls had ever landed “slowly and safely” through
a windshield.
Number 5 was Submitted by Guanch3 JamesShark JamesShark was with his father just ahead
of a young couple at the bus stop.
The couple was talking about sex toys and how "sexy" would it be to use a butt plug
with a tail.
The thing is, JamesShark lived in Spain, and was the only one who knew both Spanish and
English in his family.
His father asked what was going on, which made JamesShark nervous.
But he decided to translate everything he heard.
His dad had the same reaction, and they didn't talk any more at all, until they got onto
the bus, away from that couple.
Number 4 was Submitted by captaineeyore124 Hellbent
A few years ago, Hellbent was visiting family in Massachussetts, and they decided to take
a tour of Boston.
It was Hellbent’s first time riding in an actual subway train.
It was pretty crowded, but quiet.
So it was easy to hear other peoples’ conversations.
Hellbent mostly minded his own business using his phone, but he suddenly overheard a skinny
guy who looked like a drug addict say to the person next to him, "Fat ladies' vaginas taste
sweeter when they're drunk."
He didn’t hear much of anything before or after, so it was just overheard completely
out of context.
Number 3 was Submitted by AvianApparition Emojie
When Emojie was in college, she would take the city bus to and from school.
She was sitting in a seat and forgot her headphones that day, so she couldn't help but overhear
their conversation.
The guy in the group said something about how he had been molested by his grandfather.
The girls didn't take him seriously, saying it couldn't be true because he wouldn't be
able to talk about it so easily.
That's when he uttered the phrase, "Oh don't worry, I got over it!
Turns out the secret is that you rape other people!”
Emojie had to spend another 40 minutes on a crowded bus next to that guy after he said
that.
Number 2 was Submitted by DragonQu33nMaelav Melissa
Melissa was waiting for the bus one morning in early November, when it started snowing.
Everybody huddled in groups to try to stay warm, because it was 14 degrees outside and
there was no shelter from the snow.
It was dead quiet, because it was too cold for anyone to want to speak.
Suddenly, somebody's phone went off.
The ringtone was… unusual.
It was that moaning sound people use in prank videos, and it went off at full volume.
The phone’s owner, clearly surprised, dropped her phone in the snow scrambling to answer
it.
She picked it up, and the first words she said were "God dammit, dad!
Stop changing my ringtone!"
Every single person at the bus stop immediately bust out laughing.
Number 1 – What’s the weirdest
thing I ever heard on
public transit?