[MUSIC]
CHONDA: A LADY CAME UP TO ME AT THE END OF ONE OF MY
CONCERTS, SAYS, "I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD TALK ABOUT TAKING
YOUR ANTIDEPRESSANTS.
THAT MAKES YOUR FAITH LOOK WEAK."
I TOLD HER TO TAKE HER GLASSES OFF AND DRIVE HOME.
[LAUGHING]
I DID.
SOMETIMES, THERE'S A LITTLE ANGER COMPONENT TO MY
DEPRESSION.
GINGER: TO LOOK AT HER, YOU'D NEVER KNOW THAT EMMY-NOMINATED
COMEDIAN AND BEST-SELLING AUTHOR CHONDA PIERCE BATTLES
DEPRESSION.
IT TOTALLY CONTRADICTS HER PUBLIC PERSONA.
CHONDA: WHEN A, YOU KNOW, VERY RENOUNCED PSYCHIATRIST SITS
IN NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE, AND LOOKS AT ME AND
SAYS, "YOU'RE--I THINK YOU'RE CLINICALLY DEPRESSED," I WAS
LIKE, "WELL, I'M A COMEDIAN.
THAT'S--THAT CAN'T BE.
THAT'S GOING TO THROW A BIG KINK IN MY JOB.
NOBODY WANTS TO BUY A TICKET AND SEE YOU CRY FOR 2 1/2 HOURS,
YOU KNOW?" GINGER: THE WORD "DEPRESSION"
HAS SORT OF BECOME HER BATTLE CRY.
CHONDA SAYS FOR FAR TOO LONG, THE WORD WAS BARELY WHISPERED
WITHIN THE WALLS OF THE CHURCH.
CHONDA: I THOUGHT DEPRESSION WOULD PROBABLY BE THE END OF MY
CAREER, AND IT REALLY TURNED OUT TO BE A GIANT RESURGENCE IN MY
CAREER IN THAT, ALL OF A SUDDEN, PEOPLE WHO WERE SITTING IN THAT
PEW FOR YEARS HAD A VOICE.
DID YOU HEAR THAT WOMAN HAS BECOME A BILLIONAIRE SELLING
SPANX, THE WOMAN THAT CREATED SPANX IS A BILLIONAIRE?
SHE'S ALSO A SIZE TWO.
SHE'S TRYING TO TORTURE US GIRLS THAT LIKE CHEESEBURGERS.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
CHONDA: SOMETIMES, WE'RE NOT EVEN TRUTHFUL WITH
OUR OWN SELVES, MUCH LESS THE PEOPLE WE'RE
SITTING IN A PEW WITH.
AND WHEN YOU BEGIN TO HEAR YOUR VOICE SPEAK TRUTH, YOU KNOW,
THE BIBLE IS RIGHT, IT WILL SET YOU FREE.
GINGER: SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DEPRESSION 15 YEARS AGO,
SAYING SHE BELIEVES IT STEMS FROM A TROUBLED CHILDHOOD.
CHONDA: MY SISTERS AND I WERE VERY PHYSICALLY
AND INAPPROPRIATELY ABUSED AS KIDS GROWING UP.
AND THEN COUPLE THAT WITH A MAN WHO WOULD GET UP AND PREACH IN
THE PULPIT, IT MADE FOR A VERY CONFUSING CHILDHOOD.
THEN DEATH CAME ALONG, AND MY BIG SISTER WAS 20 WHEN SHE WAS
KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT, AND IT JUST--IT SHOOK THE VERY--THE
VERY ALREADY FRAGILE FOUNDATION OF MY HOME.
AND ABOUT 19, 20 MONTHS LATER, MY LITTLE SISTER CAME HOME FROM
HIGH SCHOOL WITH A SORE THROAT, AND WE TOOK HER TO ONE DOCTOR
AND TO ANOTHER, AND FOUND OUT SHE HAD LEUKEMIA.
AND IN 21 DAYS, SHE DIED.
I THINK I WAS PROBABLY DEPRESSED FOR A WHILE AT A LEVEL OF
DEPRESSION THINKING THAT WAS MY NORMAL.
WHEN ANOTHER CIRCUMSTANCE WOULD COME ALONG OR WHEN SOMETHING
ELSE PILED ON TOP OF THAT, THAT TEETER TOTTER JUST KEPT TILTING
AND KEPT TILTING UNTIL MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY COULD NO LONGER HANDLE
IT ALONE, AND I HAD TO GET SOME HELP.
AND I REMEMBER GOING TO A DOCTOR AND SITTING DOWN, AND HE SAID,
"TELL ME ABOUT--A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD."
AND I--AND I ALMOST TOLD VERBATIM WHAT I TOLD ON
THE STAGE FOR 15 YEARS.
YOU KNOW, I MEAN, 'CAUSE I HAD IT DOWN PAT.
I'D BEEN TELLING THAT STORY FOREVER.
AND HE SAID, "MY, THAT'S QUITE A LOT TO DEAL WITH."
HE GOES--I SAID, "YEAH, YEAH, BUT THE LORD'S BEEN GOOD TO ME."
HE GOES, "WELL, OF COURSE THE LORD'S BEEN GOOD TO YOU,
BUT NOW WHAT HAPPENED?
HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO SOMEBODY ABOUT, YOU KNOW, WHAT IT'S LIKE
TO BE THE ONLY SISTER LEFT?
HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
DID IT MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU WERE--YOU KNOW, THAT THE LORD
WAS PICKING ON YOU?" AND I WAS LIKE, "WELL, YEAH."
YOU KNOW?
AND IT'S LIKE, ALL OF A SUDDEN, HE BEGAN TO GET FEELINGS OUT OF
ME THAT I HAD PUSHED DOWN AND HAD SUPPRESSED, AND A LOT OF IT
WAS THINKING THAT GOD MIGHT NOT LOVE ME IF I TELL HIM THE TRUTH.
GINGER: EXPRESSING HER ANGER, FRUSTRATION, AND HER PAIN TO GOD
BECAME LIBERATING.
CHONDA: GOD DID IS TO LET THAT STUFF POUR OUT OF MY SPIRIT
SO I HAD MORE ROOM FOR HIM.
GINGER: FACING HER PAST PREPARED CHONDA FOR THE MOST
DIFFICULT MOMENT OF HER LIFE WHEN HER HUSBAND OF 31 YEARS
PASSED AWAY.
CHONDA: I HAD TO LEARN TO LIVE ON FACT, NOT ON FEELING.
I HAD TO LEARN TO BE HUMBLE ENOUGH TO TAKE MY MEDICINE IN
THE MORNING TO KEEP MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY, YOU KNOW,
FROM WHACKING OUT ON ME.
I HAD TO LEARN THAT I HAD TO GET UP AND TAKE A WALK.
I CANNOT LET MY BODY, YOU KNOW, NOT GET THOSE ENDORPHINS
FLOWING.
I LEARNED ALL THESE THINGS TO CLIMB OUT OF A DARK, DARK PLACE,
THAT THOSE TOOLS ARE SO JUST RIGHT IN THE TIPS OF MY FINGERS
WHEN THIS TERRIBLE TRAGEDY HAPPENED.
AND NOW I CAN LOOK BACK AND GO, "THANK YOU, LORD.
THANK YOU THAT I--THAT YOU HUMBLED ME ENOUGH TO TAKE CARE
OF BUSINESS BACK THEN WHEN I NEEDED TO."
THIS IS MY HOME AWAY FROM HOME.
IT'S WHERE WE MAKE OUR GODLY COFFEE AND TEA.
ARTWORK FROM HOME.
GINGER: SHE TRAVELS THE WORLD, SHARING HER STORY
THROUGH HUMOR AND MUSIC.
SHE WAS DOING THIS LONG BEFORE THE DEPRESSION ALMOST CONSUMED
HER LIFE, BUT THE DIFFERENCE NOW IS SHE HAS NOTHING TO HOLD BACK,
AND THE TRUTH TRULY HAS SET HER FREE.
CHONDA: THE SWEETNESS OF DEPRESSION, THE GIFT THAT IT'S
BEEN TO ME IS THAT, AT LONG LAST, I CAN LOVE GOD, AND HONOR
HIM, AND GLORIFY HIM, AND CRY OUT TO HIM BECAUSE OF WHO HE IS,
NOT HOW HE MAKES ME FEEL.
BECAUSE HE'S WORTHY, AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW I FEEL.