Balds to the wall.
That's "bald", with a "d" - 'cause basically no one in this movie has any hair.
Straight off "Straight Outta Compton", critically acclaimed director F. Gary Gray takes over
the reins of everyone's favorite car-racing / action series – which drove back into
theaters on April 14th, 2017 with its unthinkable eighth installment.
Early returns from the Chinese market have already set records, so it seems likely this
PG-13 rated flick will continue the franchise's box office dominance, with a billion dollars
more than possible.
Propped up by a massive $250 million dollar budget, the 136-minute thrill ride is overstuffed
with fast cars, loud explosions, cool gadgets, plenty of surprises, and all-star cast.
When a mysterious cyber-savvy villain leverages gear-head turned international savior Dom
Torreto into becoming a violent terrorist, his crew is forced to go after him.
Starring in his sixth outing as no-nonsense Dom, Vin Diesel leads a giant group – I'm
sorry, 'family' – which includes Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Michelle Rodriguez,
Tyrese Gibson, Chris Bridges, Nathalie Emmanuel, Kurt Russell, Scott Eastwood, Helen Mirren,
Charlize Theron, and a even a few old faces.
Juggling a cast of this size is no easy feat, but remarkably, each player has an opportunity
to really contribute, without anyone feeling like an afterthought.
We've got mothers, daughters, fathers, sons, cousins, and girlfriends in this picture – and
it sometimes feels a bit like watching a soap opera during sweeps.
As for their acting ability?
By now you likely know what to expect from this group; who sell the impossible scenarios
with enough charisma and camaraderie to make up for any thespian-shortcomings.
It was nice to see Rodriguez get a beefier role here – after being little more than
a plot-device in the last few films – while Mirren feels right at home in her brief appearance.
Handsome newcomer Eastwood seems poised to fill the "straight edge white guy" shoes of
the late Paul Walker – but his limited screentime appears to be writer Chris Morgan just testing
the waters.
Gibson does predictably great work as the comic relief, but is even more useful as the
in-universe skeptic; preemptively addressing the audience's concerns and questions during
the more unbelievable moments; or as it's known on TV Tropes – 'lampshade hanging'.
These characters are ones we've grown to know and love over the past seven installments,
so when the film jumps into the end of an early heist-sequence, it doesn't matter that
we missed the crime itself - we're so familiar with these characters, it feels like watching
an episode of your favorite TV show.
Which is one I would totally watch, by the way.
Seriously, it's a soap opera with explosions!
While downtown Cleveland is a reasonably convincing stand-in for lower Manhattan, it's a ten minute
Cuban cold open in Havana that really makes excellent use of its locale.
Watching Vin drag race backwards down the picturesque Malecón roadway with his engine
on fire is a truly awesome moment.
And having just vacationed in Cuba four weeks ago, it was quite a treat for me to that beautiful
country again, making its first appearance in a Hollywood film in decades.
This pre-title sequence is also a 1 wonderful throwback to the 16-year-old franchise's roots...
when it was just about short skirts and pink slip races.
As Dom is quick to remind his rival, "It's not about what's under the hood.
The only thing that matters is who's behind the wheel."
Following the tragic death of franchise lead Paul Walker, the film's star and producer
Diesel already had his hands full trying to continue the franchise without him - and reportedly,
an on-set feud with Johnson didn't help any.
Their relationship was so frosty that certain scenes had to be reworked so they would avoid
having to be on the same set together.
And while you might not even notice the film's two biggest characters share only a single
scene together...
you will *feel* that there's something missing.
Indeed, Dom's initial betrayal of the group is by directly attacking Johnson – a conflict
that remains unaddressed and unresolved at the picture's end.
Because of this off-screen rift, "The Fate Of The Furious" has somewhat of a parallel-plot
thing going on, with Diesel seemingly in a movie all by himself.
It hurts the cohesiveness of the narrative, but thankfully, the trademark action sequences
are still as insane as ever.
Like the ambitious middle-act set-piece that literally has cars raining from rooftops.
Even for this franchise - that sequence was way too preposterous.
But the fan favorite will likely be a surprisingly fun close-quarters sequence late in the film
that has Statham cracking jokes and cracking skulls.
The dance-like gunplay and choreography is reminiscent "John Wick", if he acted way more
cheeky.
At this point though, the "Fast" franchise has completely embraced the fact that these
characters are legit superheroes.
A prison-escape brawl has our frenemy protagonists sliding under doors and jumping off walls
like roided-up Spider-Men.
The big-budget film showcases expectedly excellent stunts and practical effects - which constantly
dreams up new ways of destroying million dollar showcars with the perfect amount of gorgeous
slow-motion.
Brian Tyler returns to compose the score for his fifth "Furious" film – but, as usual,
it's the screeching tires, and busted glass that overwhelms the auditory experience.
Although it's arguably just as fun and bananas as the last few installments, the somewhat
disconnected narratives - and Walker's noted absence hurt this picture from equaling the
heights of its predecessors.
And much like a Nissan Skyline without a spoiler, this picture tends to drag a bit around the
halfway mark.
But after the dust settles, and the crew enjoys yet another barbeque reunion - you can't help
but smile one more time.
Fans like myself are sure to love this on plenty of rewatches – which is why "Fate"
gets an EIGHT.
Oh, and by the way - if you have the chance, see this one in D-Box – it's a literal ride.
That does it for this quick excerpt - but if you'd like to watch full episodes of "Movie
Night", and submit your own reviews to be included on the show, please visit the Jogwheel.com.
My name is Jonathan Paula, thanks for watching and have a good Movie Night!