Hey, is something burning?
Oh, wait.
It's you, because you just got burned.
I-- oh my God!
So you're not going to do anything?
Well, I'm no good to us dead.
What good are you alive?
[GASPS]
Hulk hands.
I do not have--
She-Hulk then.
Whatever. They're--
Bob!
What, Jennifer Walters, alter ego of She-Hulk?
Lana.
Fancy meeting you here, huh?
At my job?
Yeah.
I mean, what are the odds?
One to one?
Talking to you is like talking to a very selfish rock
with mother issues!
Rocks don't have moms!
Maybe I'm ready to start having a real life
instead of being stuck here with your ass.
Shh!
My ass might hear you, and it's very sensitive.
Of course, you know that.
Lana.
If anything goes wrong, I'm holding you responsible.
Yeah.
That'll teach me.
Reserve this, Treebeard.
Oh, please.
It's not even loaded.
Wha--
Lana!
What?
Danger zone.
Sorry I'm late.
Robert and I got into another huge fight about--
About whether or not we'd care?
I'm in love with you.
You are also shit-faced.
I can be both.
We have wedding photos?
Oh, yeah.
Big box of them labeled "cautionary tale."
I'm sick of you getting the best assignments just
because your mother's the boss.
Do you know what that's like?
Besides awesome?
[GROANS]
Lana.
What?
God shit dammit, Archer, what?
Uh, never mind.
Oh, you finished, all right.
Yeah.
Maybe try Woolite.
Which, by the way, makes one of us.
Oh, please.
Wait, seriously?
Get out.
If Robert thinks for one second that a handful
of glorified weeds can make up for what he said to me,
he is more mistaken than--
You were for marrying him?
Hah!
I'm back, baby!
Burt Reynolds is my spirit guide.
- Did you say "man crush?" - No.
I'm pretty sure it was "shut up."
You're Black-ish.
Ish?
Well, what's the word for it, Lana?
You freaked out when I said Quadroon.
Imagine that!
You imagine it!
Both of you imagine shutting up.
Calm down, Fran Trunkington.
ARCHER: Forced.
Oh, for the--
Trunky Brewster then.
ARCHER: Eh.
LANA: Archer? [GRUNTS]
A.k.a.
Trunk Master Flex.
Meh.
Oh, whatever.
It doesn't matter where we are, Noob Gingrich.
Jeez.
Thanks a lot Bitch and Sundance.
Gonna be an itchy weekend.
Serves you right, Smacky Brown.
The El Camino is not a car.
Truck, whatever!
Nor is it a truck.
It's a--
Vehicular hermaphrodite?
Shut up.
Who are you, Colonel Mom Parker?
Nothing? - Meh.
I'll tell you what's freaky is.
Guess what I already named that bunny?
Rabbert Klein?
What?
I get to learn karate?
Karate?
The Dane Cook of martial arts?
There is so much so deeply wrong with you.
[CHUCKLES]
And you married me.
So it doesn't reflect great on you.
There's this new bar called I Don't Want to Go Home.
It's right next to My Marriage Was
a Mistake and down the street from Fun, Cool, Single, Life,
but that place closed down.
Probably because of the bad name.
Were you eavesdropping on me?
Yes.
Did have a follow up to that or--
Hey.
I know I'm supposed to be up my own ass right now, but--
[GRUNTS]
Oh, is that what you want?
Yup!
Because that's how you get ants!
LANA: Yay!
That's some set you got on you.
I mean, not your--
I, I meant.
I know what you meant.
Did you seriously climb all the way up here
just to see what my bonus is?
No.
"I sarcastically climbed all the way
up here to see what your bonus is," he said, sarcastically.
Could you try not being completely consumed with
yourself for once in your life?
Why?
Hey!
Whoa, Charles Benedict Davenport.
Um, the father of eugenics?
I'm coming, Cyril!
Lana, wait!
Bet that's the first time you ever said that.
We had sex!
Ooh.
Yeah, but I wasn't down there.
Oh, I know.
No, like, down there, down there.
Believe me, I know.
MI6.
Wonder how much training they need
to fetch coffee for the CIA.
Oh.
It's really humiliating how they don't work for their mom,
right?
Maybe because I don't need to play
two-bit space cowboy just because I'm
scared of commitment.
How dare you speak precisely the truth at me?
Pretty sure I have the world's first Karate Island boner.
Could you not?
We try to keep things professional around here.
Fine.
God.
How about work-related erection?
More like, maybe try not talking
about your erection at all.
I don't know how.
I think we've just finally discovered our true feelings.
All the games can stop now.
We're going to be together forever.
[LAUGHTER]
This is why our marriage didn't work.
Really?
It wasn't the fact that you slept
with everything on two legs?
Not always two.
Lana, your eyes are amazing.
Archer.
I mean, not compared to your tits but--
[GUNSHOT] Ow!
Ow!
What is your problem?
What's your angle, Seamus?
Well, probably about 30 degrees.
[DRUM STING]
MAN: Diminishing returns, Cliff.