- Hi guys!
Welcome back to my channel.
In today's video, I'm going to be sharing with you
10 things that I wish I'd known
before I had a baby.
Having a baby is such a massive life change
that I'm hoping that these tips
can provide some information
for any new mothers or pregnant people out there.
And I'm going to pretend that I'm talking
to myself eight years ago.
These are the tips I wish I had known.
If you like this kind of video,
don't forget to subscribe.
And I've also made two others like this.
I did a 10 things I wish I'd known
before giving birth,
and also 10 things I wish I'd known
about post-partum after birth.
So I'll link both of them down below as well.
And I'm super excited,
because today's video is also a collab
with my friend Hayley Paige.
Hayley has an amazing YouTube channel.
I will link her down below.
And today, she will also be talking
about the 10 things she wishes she'd known
before she had a baby.
Now, we both had children about the same time.
Jackson, my youngest, is a similar age
to her baby Annabelle.
And she is also pregnant with her second baby.
She is going to give birth in a matter of weeks.
So go over to her channel,
show her some love,
follow along with her pregnancy and birth.
And I think you'll really like her
if you like my videos.
She does cleaning videos, vlogs,
lifestyle videos, mommy videos,
similar to myself.
So I thought it would be nice to introduce
you guys to her.
And yeah, she's really, really lovely.
So the first thing I wish I'd known
is how massive a life change it is.
You cannot imagine how much life
is about to change,
but it is for the better
and it will all be worth it.
But when I had my first baby,
I think I found it quite hard
that things like my social life and my career
were kind of put on hold.
Things completely changed.
I had a new set of mommy friends,
and I wasn't at work every day.
And I ended up completely changing
what I do for a living.
But I did wanna say, you will find the balance.
After about 12 weeks, you will get there.
You'll be in a flow with things,
and it will all calm down.
But I think when you have a newborn,
it is like "Whoa."
The second thing that I wish I'd known,
and probably my most important point in this video,
is that there is no expert on your baby except for you.
What I mean by that is,
when I was pregnant with my first son,
I read so many parenting books.
I like to have a bit of control
by preparing myself and getting lots of information.
And while that was helpful for some things,
when he arrived and he didn't necessarily
do all the things that they said
he should do in a book,
I would beat myself up about it.
But over the years,
I've learned that there is no book on your baby.
You are the only expert.
You know them better than anyone.
And you need to trust your instincts and your gut feeling.
There is so much to be said for mothers' instincts.
If something feels wrong, it probably is.
And doctors even take mothers' instincts
into consideration.
If you take your baby to the doctor and you're like
"I just feel like something's wrong,"
they will actually do something about it.
They'll trust you, because it's a real thing.
And I also wanted to say
that every baby is so different.
I have three boys, and even though they were born
looking identical to each other,
they are so different.
So just embrace their quirks, learn who they are,
and accept them for it.
The third thing is to get your partner on board
with family rules.
Now, Matt and I never sat down and had a discussion.
We naturally are very similar in our parenting styles.
But if you're not, it is well worth sitting down,
talking about what you're happy with,
what you're not happy with,
because you really need to be a united front
in front of your children.
You need to come across as a team,
and rules are so much stronger
if you and your partner are on the same page.
The fourth thing is to get your baby
into a routine or schedule as soon as you possibly can.
When we have a baby, we normally start the routine
at about eight weeks old.
And that just means that we can sleep,
we have a little bit of sanity,
and I guess I like to feel a little bit in control.
I really liked being able to look at the clock and think,
"Okay, in an hour they're gonna need a feed,
and then they're gonna need to sleep,
and then they're gonna need to change."
In my head, I just really liked knowing
what was happening that day.
And I have made lots of baby routine videos in the past,
so I will link them down below,
'cause it might help you guys.
I've done it for all different ages,
and you might be interested to see
what our routine is.
But honestly, if you want to have a good night's sleep,
a routine is so important.
My fifth tip is gonna contradict
what I just said a little bit.
But that is that naps are not the be-all and end-all.
So when we had our first son Fraser,
I was obsessed with his naps.
He had to self-settle in his crib,
in his dark room, on his own.
We would miss days out and things like that
because I wanted to stick to his naps so much.
And while that was great, I got loads done,
as soon as he turned three, he stopped napping.
And I was like, "Oh, I did all that work
and he doesn't even nap anymore?"
So they do end, so I would say when it comes to naps,
just do what works for you.
With my youngest, I have had him nap at home,
because I work from home so I kind of need that.
But if we're out one day and they fall asleep
in the buggy or they fall asleep in the baby carrier,
it's not a massive deal because naps are gonna end
when they're about three years old.
The sixth thing is that changing a nappy
or changing a diaper is no big deal
and it's actually a really nice bonding time.
So many people crack jokes about whose turn
it is to change a diaper,
or how smelly their baby is.
But I actually love it.
It's a really nice time to chat to your baby,
blow raspberries on their tummy,
tickle their feet.
It's a really nice time to bond.
So don't even worry about it.
And you will come to realize
that poo, wee, vomit, it's no big deal.
The next one is don't be too hard on yourself.
Parenting is really hard.
It's emotionally draining. It's also exhausting.
And you can't do it all.
Sometimes, you will need a break.
A 10-minute shower can make all the difference.
A date night out with your husband
can get you guys to connect again.
So sometimes, you will need a little break.
So don't be afraid to accept help,
and don't try to be Superwoman.
I think I tried to do that,
and you don't get a medal for it.
I should have three medals by now.
I don't have any.
So don't worry about the housework so much.
If you have a baby that's not very well,
you're gonna let the housework pile up
because they're more important now.
Lower your standards.
You're not gonna be the same as you were
before you had a baby.
And a massive tip on that is get a cleaner.
I didn't get a cleaner until we had our third child,
and I think "Why didn't I do this sooner?"
It's 30 pounds a week.
It's the best money I ever spent.
But I think I wanted to be like,
"I can keep it all up. I can do it all.
I can juggle all of these things."
But you know, you don't have to do that.
Number eight is to get yourself a little first aid kit,
and make sure it's stocked, just in case.
In my experience, my children can be
absolutely fine all day long,
but then in the middle of the night,
an illness will strike.
And if I'm out of anything, it's very stressful.
So just get things like a thermometer,
something to bring down a fever
or to help them with pain,
and teething products as well.
And on that, don't ever be afraid
to call the emergency services
if you think you need to.
In the UK, we have something called 111,
which isn't emergency,
but you can speak to a nurse or doctor
and get information on how to deal with things.
But we have had to call an ambulance in the past.
When Fraser was three, he had croup really badly.
And I called more for advice,
but they heard him in the background
and they sent an ambulance with oxygen
within about two minutes.
So I don't think even I realized how severe it was.
And we actually had to go to hospital and everything.
So yeah, just go with your instinct.
The ninth thing that I wish I'd known before I had a baby
is that breastfeeding can actually be really hard.
When I was pregnant I was like,
"I'm gonna have a baby and I'm gonna breastfeed."
And when it came to it,
it is actually quite difficult.
I was able to breastfeed for quite a long time,
but I know how very lucky I am
that that worked out for me.
So I've made lots of breastfeeding tips, videos,
I will link them in the comments down below.
When it comes to breastfeeding,
there is a technique.
Look into it, get information.
Also get help as soon as you can.
Don't be afraid to get help,
because it isn't a very simple, natural thing
that you think it might be.
And the last thing I wish I'd known
before I had a baby
is just how much love you would feel when you had a baby.
It's hard to explain if you're not a parent.
It's all-consuming.
I think about them all of the time.
I wanna protect them fiercely.
There's just such a huge amount of love.
They've actually made me a little bit insane
because I love them so, so much.
I have separation anxiety, I hate being away from them.
They have made me a little bit crazy.
But you will just feel so much love.
And just enjoy it.
I know this is really cliche,
and I know if you're just about to have a baby
you may not appreciate this,
but it goes so quickly.
Take too many photos.
Video them all the time.
They change so, so much.
And those early photos and videos
are just so, so precious.
Alright, so that is it for this video.
I really hope you enjoyed it.
Don't forget to go and check out Hayley's video
over on her channel.
And of course, add any things you wish you'd known
in the comments below.
I always love reading the comments
and seeing the little conversations
that come up as well.
Thank you so much for watching,
and I'll see you in my next one.
Bye guys!