Harris: I DON'T KNOW WHERE OR HOW I CAN GIVE SPOILERS
WITHOUT THE TASER COMING OUT AGAIN.
SO...
SO, NEIL AND CRAIG HAVE SEEN
WHAT DIDN'T WORK IN PREVIOUS ITERATIONS.
THEY'RE CONFIDENT IN WHAT DOES WORK,
AND THEY KNOW WHY,
SO THEY REALLY WANT THINGS THAT CAN ONLY HAPPEN ON THE SHOW,
THAT YOU HAVE TO WATCH THE SHOW TO SEE,
WHICH IS A GREAT SANDBOX TO PLAY IN.
IF ANYTHING, I FEEL LIKE IT'S YOUR JOB TO BE OUT THERE A LOT,
LIKE A DINNER PARTY.
YOU WANT TO KEEP SAYING, "HI. WELCOME BACK."
THE HOST IS THE PUPPET MASTER WITH AN EAR TO WHAT'S GOING ON
WHEN YOU'RE NOT ONSTAGE TO BEING ONSTAGE
TO CALMING PEOPLE DOWN
TO COMMENTING ON THINGS
TO WORKING HARD BUT NOT TOO HARD.
YOU HAVE THE PEOPLE THAT ARE IN THE ROOM,
AND YOU WANT THEM TO FEEL COMFORTABLE
AFTER THE CRAZY GAUNTLET OF THE RED CARPET.
SO YOU HAVE TO MAKE THEM FEEL LIKE IT'S ALL GONNA BE GOOD.
THEN YOU ALSO HAVE TO MAKE THE PEOPLE AT HOME FEEL
LIKE IT'S ALL GONNA BE GOOD, TOO.
Hope: PERHAPS YOU PEOPLE WATCHING DON'T REALIZE
THE AIR OF TENSION IN THIS THEATER TONIGHT.
Harris: I'VE SPENT A LOT OF TIME LOOKING AT THE PAST YEARS' SHOWS
AND WHAT THEY ACCOMPLISHED,
AND THEN FROM THAT I'M TRYING TO SEE WHAT'S LEFT.
SO, WITH THAT IN MY MIND,
I HAD TO HIRE ON A TEAM OF WRITERS,
AND WE COME UP WITH AN IDEA THAT WE THINK IS UNIQUE TO FILMS,
BUT IS ALSO COOL TO WATCH LIVE,
BUT WILL ALSO BE, ON ANOTHER LEVEL, COOL TO WATCH AT HOME.
SO I'M TRYING TO THINK OF TWO DIFFERENT THINGS.
Crystal: THERE WERE 330 FEATURE FILMS IN THAT 5-MINUTE MONTAGE,
AND WHAT'S AMAZING IS, ACCORDING TO PARAMOUNT,
NOT ONE HAS YET TO GO INTO PROFIT.
[ LAUGHTER ]
Harris: IT'S A SHOCKINGLY LONG PROCESS
OF WRITING A SINGLE JOKE,
'CAUSE YOU HAVE TO SAY IT AND IT DOESN'T SOUND RIGHT
AND YOU CHANGE ONE VERB OR YOU CHANGE ONE PARENTHETICAL
AND SEE IF IT'S BETTER WITH A BIGGER SETUP,
ALL FOR AN "I SHOWED MY WIENER IN 'GONE GIRL'" JOKE.
I'M ALSO GETTING CONSTANT E-MAILS
WITH LOTS OF PITCHES FOR JOKES.
SO THERE WILL BE A PAGE AND A HALF OF "BIRDMAN" JOKES.
THE WRITERS NOW KIND OF GET
WHERE MY MIND IS ABOUT CERTAIN JOKES.
I GOT TO FEEL LIKE IT'S MY SHOW
AND THAT WHAT I HAVE TO EXECUTE
IS GONNA FALL ON ME REGARDLESS OF WHO WROTE IT.
PREPARING TO HOST TAKES A LOT MORE LEAD TIME
THAN I THINK MOST PEOPLE THINK.
IT'S SUCH A GIGANTIC SHOW.
THE MOST FUN PART ABOUT PREPARING TO HOST THE OSCARS
HAS TO BE THE ACCESS.
AND SO MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING "YES" TO BEING A PART OF IT,
IN WHATEVER CONTEXT YOU NEED.
WE'RE ACTUALLY GONNA BE USING PEOPLE IN INTERESTING WAYS.
THERE'S GONNA BE A MUSICAL NUMBER
AT SOME POINT IN THE SHOW.
I'M A MAGICIAN,
SO I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF THERE WAS A HINT OF MAGIC.
I FEAR I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.