whether you're in cells or you're a coach and you work with clients or you
just want to make new friends being able to connect with people is an essential
skill and it's where all persuasion and influence starts I've been in sales for
more than ten years and I've done years of studying NLP and testing out the best
processes and the best applications and skills for becoming more persuasive more
influential and being able to connect with people anywhere anytime so if that
sounds good to you keep watching
hey this is Damon Cart from life mastery gym bringing you cutting-edge
processes techniques and tools to help you master your life so if that sounds
good please click subscribe to this youtube channel so you can get these
videos on a regular basis and make sure you hit that Bell so that you're
notified every time I put out a new video it's gonna give you two really
powerful techniques that's going to help you connect with anyone anywhere anytime
and the first one is emotion or feeling now you've probably heard this a lot so
it might sound like I'm telling you something you already know but stick
with me here because I've heard this a lot too when I was doing sales training
I kept hearing that we'll make sure you sell on emotion people buy on emotion
not logic they buy on emotion and then they justify it with logic now that's
true but I don't meet many people who really understand this so I'm going to
explain exactly how this works and in that process I'm going to reveal the
second thing that I'm going to give you let's see if you can catch it a few
weeks ago I announced that I was going to give away a coaching package as well
as well as I was going to give away some free training I got overwhelmed with
people's responses I ended up choosing two people one person to give the
training to and one person to give the coaching to the person who I chose to
give the coaching to is a person who lost his eyesight at the age of 18 and I
wanted to work with him because I could tell he had a really good attitude and
that he was going to really appreciate the coaching so we started working and
on the first session that I was working with him on I started listening his
values and connection was one of his highest values so as we got deeper and
deeper into this he told me he said you know I don't normally tell people this
he said I don't normally tell people who can see this
I only usually talk about this in my support group for blind people and he
said when I'm with my friends who can see I can have a good time with them I
can enjoy the time with them but I always feel like an outsider I
always feel like I'm not getting exactly what they're getting I always feel a bit
disconnected because I'm not sharing the same experience that they're sharing
this really struck me very deeply and I realized something right then and there
and I called it to his attention I said do you realize what you just did
and he was like what and I said you know if you told me what it was like to be
blind like you give me you gave me a step-by-step technical way in which it's
what it's like to be blind like I get up in the morning and I have to get a
walking stick or I bump into things if he had told me all of those things in
that way I wouldn't be able to connect with that - well I wouldn't really know
where he's coming from or what his life is like because I no matter how much I
could try to step into his shoes I'm not blind so I can't I don't have
his experience but what he did was he connected with me on emotion because
immediately I felt like well yeah I do know what it's like to be around friends
to be around and maybe in a social group and I'm not enjoying it the way that
they're enjoying it I feel like an outsider
I feel disconnected so because he told me what the feeling was like I felt a
sudden connection with him and it was it was instant so we connected on emotion
not on the technical aspects or the step one step two step three of what it's
like to be blind and so this is what makes emotions so powerful because if
you meet someone from a different walk of life someone who is has a different
job than you maybe you're married and they're not or vice versa so maybe they
have kids and you don't you're not going to know what it's like exactly to be
like that other person and because of that there can be this disconnect but
there's one thing that's universal and that is emotions emotions are universal
so when you go to the emotion this is why
come so powerful people will connect with you if you share a feeling and
emotion with someone or you explain a feeling of how if you come about
experiencing a feeling that person can connect to that but if you're just
giving them what it's like to be you they may or may not connect with it
there's a chance that they will because there might be some similarities but
emotions are universal this is why great stories endure over time this is why
people can watch movies from a completely different country different
culture and connect with it because the emotions are universal love sadness loss
depression excitement joy these are all things that we all experience no matter
what language you speak no matter what culture you come from and no matter how
different your life is from someone else so when you meet someone connect on
emotion now you don't want to come out right out and like start crying or do
like throwing a bunch of emotion at them but it's more about this is the second
thing did you catch it story when you tell a story and you include emotion so
I actually demonstrated story by telling you a story about one of my coaching
clients I told you that story because story is so much easier to relate to if
I told you again something very technical I gave you the steps or I gave
you like the manual like this is what it's like to be me and handed it to you
you'd be like you probably wouldn't be that interested but if I told you an
interesting story and I added emotion to that now you would probably feel very
connected to me and you might even be feeling that now because I told you a
story and I explained the connection part how at times I do feel disconnected
just like my client felt disconnected when he's in social situations you might
be thinking the same thing you might be thinking oh yeah I know what that's like
too and there you go you connect to it and so if I just said hey I feel
disconnected sometimes you'd be like okay I do too I guess what if I tell you
a story and include that emotion now it becomes a relatable experience with a
relatable feeling that we all feel it's time in our lives instant connection so
just to summarize in motion and story and you can get really really good at
this now if you wait until you're in the moment and then you're telling yourself
okay think of an emotion to share think of a story to share it's probably going
to disconnect you from that person even more so you want to think of these
things ahead of time so you can you can compartmentalize this or contextualize
it by thinking of word where in your life do you want to be most persuasive
and influential and start there maybe it's cells so you look at your
cells whatever it is that you're selling and whatever kind of appointments you're
having and whatever kind of people you're meeting with and try to find a
story that real that might relate to them or relate to what it is that you're
selling and put as much emotion into it as you possibly can you might if you're
dating if you're single you can do the same thing if you're if you're gonna go
out on a date you can think of interesting stories to tell that would
be appropriate to the context that you're dating or you're on a date and
then also think about what would be emotions you'd want to share with that
person that would help connect you better what kind of emotions would you
want to help them experience of course you want something typically more on the
positive side but it's okay if you share some vulnerability it's okay if you
share something that's negative emotion if you then tell the person how you were
able to overcome it everybody loves an inspirational story so think about the
areas of your life where you want to be persuasive and influential and think of
stories think of at least three stories you can tell and then give them three
different emotions that you could plug into those stories so that you get
people to relate to you and connect to you as soon as you tell that story what
will happen here is you'll get better and better at this it does take some
practice and it's worth taking the time to get good at this so think about those
stories come up with them have stories ready to go but as you're practicing
them you will probably start to notice that when you actually get into these
situations you'll start thinking of new stories and you'll think of new emotions
that you can plug into it so the better you become at this the less it will seem
like you're reciting something and that you're actually doing it in real time
and that will connect you even more if you're still not sure about this get
in touch with why you want to be more influential to begin with why you want
to be more persuasive why do you want to connect with people more and use that as
your motivation to do this because it does take working on it but it does take
some forethought to put into this and some practice but like I said you'll
become a natural after a while and people will start to relate to you or
think of you as someone who naturally connects well with just about anyone if
you would like some free training on how to be more persuasive and connect better
with yourself and overcome obstacles check out my website lifemasterygym.com
I give away lots of free training on that website opt in and get started
if you like this video please click like right down here and of course subscribe
if you haven't now I'd love to hear from you tell me in the comments below about
how you connect with people would sort of processes or techniques or mindsets
do you use to connect with people especially people you're meeting for the
first time how do you build rapport with them rapidly I hope you found this video
useful I'm going to be doing another video in connection it will immediately
follow this video so check that one out as well take care