Hello underachievers!
Terribly sorry for my lack of consistent video uploads.
I don't know why I said it like that.
So yeah! Heterosexuality, am I right?
I am currently bisexual,
at the moment, I feel like.
So therefore, that is my excuse that I can make fun of straight people,
because I'm also attracted to girls sometimes.
Obviously, I have to do one of those disclaimers:
There's nothing wrong with being a straight person.
I don't hate straight people.
I just think certain heterosexual Tik Toks evoke such an emotion in me
that I wanted to share it with you!
So that's what we're doing.
Also, if you're a straight person and you're upset with this video, and you're going to be like:
"Oh! Imagine if we did this about gay people!
Imagine if we made videos like this about gay people!"
I've already done that.
There's a link somewhere here.
So yeah, today we're making fun of straight Tik Tok again.
I will probably have to mute a lot of these Tik Tok,
because there is copyright music,
and straight people, apparently, don't want me to make money or something.
So the first one is this guy, over here.
First impressions:
Girls, how do we feel about this, so far?
I don't feel like it's ever weird to reject a complete stranger, who's trying to hit on you,
but let's see.
"When I approach girls,
this is why it would be weird if they were to reject me.
Simply put, it's because I'm not trying to take something from the girl,
like most guys".
He just pulled: "I'm not like other guys"?
"When most guys approach a girl,
first: They don't think that they're on the girl's level,
so they're already talking to her in a way that's unattractive.
Me, when I approach the girl,
I'm purely trying to build the fun and build the vibe.
I'm trying to connect with her".
"It'd be really weird if a girl were to reject me,
because I'm just trying to vibe right now, like...
No! No, no, no, babe.
Babe, what are you doing?
No, no, no, the vibes! Come back!"
"I honestly feel that I'm on her level,
and if anything I feel that I'm above her level..."
I could clip that out of context. I won't do it!
"Not in a cocky conceited way,
but in a way that I'm very confident in myself.
So when you walk up, truly confident in yourself,
solid eye contact,
smiling,
breaking report tonality,
you're not trying to take anything,
you're just here to build the vibe,
why would you reject me?
It doesn't make any sense".
There could be several reasons!
Number one: Could be a lesbian,
might not be into men.
Number two: Could have a partner.
Could be a monogamous.
Not into, you know, polyamory.
Number three: She's not attracted to you.
Maybe she just doesn't vibe with you.
Maybe you just don't... Maybe your vives just don't...
Number four: Maybe she's seen his Tik Toks.
"Essentially, when she's talking to me,
there's no downside.
And if for some reason she doesn't want to talk to me, that's totally fine.
I can go talk to another girl. I don't need her.
And that's the power that I have.
See, I've never been like a part of like, hookup culture.
I know there's just something weird about saying:
"I don't need her", about like, a complete stranger that you're like hitting on.
I'm just don't... I'm sure this guy is great!
Maybe not great.
I'm sure maybe this guy is helping a lot of people become more confident
when approaching people, but I...
I've never been a fan of pet names.
I have no experience in this, so... Let's see.
"OK, baby, so we're gonna go like this:
One, two...
And then we're gonna turn it,
and then: One.
Do you see that?
Stop! I can't even see your face".
"Diana, what are you doing?
Diana, stop!"
"Why are you calling me Diana?"
"Why are you calling..." I don't even want to mock that.
It's annoying me to hear myself making that noise.
"Because that's your name!"
"No, but I like 'baby'"
OK... I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.
This probably... This Tik Tok is set out.
I'm intrigued.
"Yes, I did".
"Bloody booty".
They're having so much fun.
I love straight people.
I love you.
I just think it's nice when people have fun.
This is the kind of thing that's, like,
if you enjoy, like, growling at each other,
100%. Do it.
But I don't understand the mentality behind, like,
setting up your camera and being like:
"Hey, babe, let's just, like, growl at each other".
I don't understand that.
I also, like, obviously, it's kind of like a...
It's like somewhat sexual, and it's just...
It's weird.
It's weird,
I think, for grown adults to put that kind of content onto Tik Tok.
When we know that, like, the demographic of Tik Tok is like, children...
Like, sure. Like, older people use it as well.
I'm 21, I use Tik Tok,
but, like, I just...
You just wouldn't?
You wouldn't.
This is in, no way, like, the worst or even remotely the worst on Tik Tok,
but I just, like...
Hello, it's editing Noah.
The lighting is about to change because I forgot to, specifically, film these Tik Toks.
Oh, my God!
So now we have Blaire White.
I don't think we, specifically, want to know about her opinion on super straights.
We're gonna hear it, I guess.
"So super straight is, apparently, a thing.
And I have to say, as a trans person, if I am not your preference, I am OK with that".
Agree! So far.
I do not care if you don't want to have sex with me.
I wouldn't either!
"Any trans person who's not OK with that, something's wrong with them.
They're creepy".
I would not say that would be creepy behavior.
I can understand being upset that someone doesn't want to sleep with you.
'Creepy'... It's not the word.
"I find it so funny that the people who are the most offended by super straight
are the same people who invent new sexualities once a week like it's a merch drop".
I always find it funny when, like, people with these kind of views try and make jokes.
They always just fall flat, as this is, I like it.
"Like at this point there are hundreds of sexualities online that are less valid
than a straight person who doesn't have attraction to trans people.
Chill out!
I did an entire video on my YouTube channel about this, click the link..."
I am not giving her the promo.
"I'm gonna be brutally honest with you,
and it may ruffle some people's feathers.
Hell is not going to be one big party for eternity,
but hell is a place where people will literally burn in the fiery pits of hell".
You heard it here, folks.
"Hell is a place where you will burn in the fiery pits of hell".
The toilet is a place where I go to poo in the toilet.
Up next, we got straight boy with jawline.
It's always the straight boys with the jawlines, they're too confident.
Do we like this?
Girls...
Straight girls, do we like this possessiveness?
I guess...
Is that what it is?
It's more than possessiveness.
Do we like being told, after, you know...
It's just...
It's just I don't know, like, just the vibe of being like:
"Girls always be like stop acting like you're my boyfriend".
There's probably a reason they're saying that.
"So my friend calls me up and tells me that she needs some tampons".
He just said 'tampons'.
"Tampons".
Is this a southern accent?
Is this what people from the south of America sound like?
If I'm wrong, that sounds stupid, I think it's cute.
I want this guy to be good!
I want to like this guy!
"Because she left hers at the house, she's stuck at work.
So me, being the person that I am, I said:
'Yeah, I'll go get you some'.
I'm at Walmart looking around, trying to find which one I'm supposed to get.
I don't know the [ ] difference between super super plus and regular,
so I asked somebody.
I said: 'Hey, I'm not sure.
How much she weighs or anything like that, but...'"
No, sir.
It's about heavy flow!
It's not about heavy woman.
Heavy ladies.
Not heavy ladies, heavy flow.
"Y'all look about the same size.
What size is your coochie?"
"What size is your coochie?"
I like it. I like it.
Very good.
"Apparently it doesn't go by the size of the coochie,
but how heavy the flow is.
Like I'm [ ] supposed to know that!
Anyways, she's got a super coochie today, because..."
I like this guy.
So the POV's are usually the worst when it comes to straight Tik Toks,
because I don't like eye contact.
I don't enjoy eye contact, even with the people in my life who I love.
They have to look away.
Genuinely, like...
I just don't like eye contact.
I don't enjoy it either from straight teenage boys on Tik Tok,
who are trying to, like, seduce their viewers?
So, we'll see what's going on with these.
Someone sent me a POV.
I don't know... I'm just not personally a fan of POV's where, like, bad things are happening.
Like: "POV: Your mom died".
Like, I don't want that on my Tik Tok.
I've got to mute this Tik Tok, but I just want you to know that this
is a pitch down version of a Kesha song.
♪ I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums ♪
POV: Your psycho boyfriend kills your step brother?
I'm just gonna move on.
Another teenage boy! Surprise, surprise!
Are they watching porn?!
I feel like, I would like...
What is the context?
I do not understand what is the purpose of this Tik Tok.
Comment down below whether you understand the whole
straight people wanting to make their partner jealous.
I don't.
Another very morbid POV.
This is shot so dramatically.
I'm conflicted.
What if this guy just is very bad at fixing things.
Corry: What are you doing tomorrow morning?
I like that.
We've got a...
"How we prevent conflict:
Make sure your toes are touching, because..."
No. I don't think I will!
I understand that, like, everybody has their own way of going,
like, through conflict, and fixing stuff.
I will not be touching anyone's toes with my toes.
I, literally, can't.
If I'm sleeping with someone and their feet touch my feet, that is over.
You're leaving the bed. You're leaving the bed.
"That, actually, reduce the tension.
The distance also creates enough space for two people to fully express.
This is a space to talk about anything that's important.
Here are some suggestions:
Is there anything that hurt you or triggered you, how can you better support each other?
Anything you feel you need: Express gratitude..."
You can do your toe talks, if you want.
I just won't be joining.
But, yeah! That was the end of the video!
I hope you enjoyed it. If you did,
OBVIOUSLY, LIKE THIS.
I caught you off guard, but you didn't see that happening.
Yeah...
I forgot how to film videos.
Comment nice things,
be very good,
behave correctly.
Have a good day, or don't.
See you later losers!
Goodbye!
Give you punch!