- Is pumpkin spice really twice as nice?
- Let's talk about that.
(playful theme music)
Good Mythical Morning.
The autumnal equinox has occurred,
which means two things,
I'm looking everywhere for a pile of leaves to jump in,
and everywhere I look, everything that is pumpkin spice
is staring me in the face. - Yes, can't avoid it.
- At Trader Joe's, you can't avoid it, right,
it is no different.
They have released their 2017 line of pumpkin spice products
and it is a cavalcade.
- Yes, and as a pumpkin spice public service,
we're gonna be ranking every possible Trader Joe's
pumpkin spice perishable that was procurable
in a perusable perimeter.
- It's time for, Once, Spice, Three Times a Pumpkin.
- Okay, we're gonna be going through eight different
Trader Joe's pumpkin-flavored products.
Now, there were more than that, but we picked the ones
that we thought were a great baseline, represented a lot
- They were enticing. - Of different things.
- And pumpkin spicing.
- And we're gonna, this is a live ranking system,
so we're gonna be ranking as we go,
and by the end of going through all eight,
we will have the definitive top eight in order
pumpkin spice products from Trader Joe's.
- Here we go Joe.
The first one is Trader Joe's Pumpkin Joe-Joes.
Typically they have like Oreos, typical black and white,
but these have been made pumpkinized.
Let's just try it, dink it.
- A Joe Joe is just a cookie.
- It's just a cookie, man. - I just learned that today.
How do you feel about pumpkin spice in general?
- I like pumpkin pie, I do not like pumpkin spice
on a lot of things that I think are usually better
without the pumpkin spice.
- I feel completely indifferent towards pumpkins.
- This right here is good, though.
This is like eating a crunchy, old pumpkin pie.
- That's good, let's put that at number one.
That's real good.
We'll just kind of, let's just set it in the middle.
- No, I agree, number one babe.
- Okay, number one.
- It'll probably be dethroned.
Next up we've got Trader Joe's Greek Nonfat Yogurt,
you guessed it, whoa, that's the ingredients, pumpkin.
- So is pumpkin flavor and pumpkin spice the same thing?
I mean you gotta spice something to flavor it, right?
- Yes, I think, well, they also use pumpkin
as one of the ingredients, so it's not just like,
this is flavored like pumpkin, but it actually uses pumpkin,
but I do think it also includes spices.
- Oh, that is nice.
- It's subtle, first I get hit with just yogurt,
and then, after that cookie, I think it just
tastes like yogurt to me.
- No, no, it's got, no, it's good.
Yogurt and pumpkin's really complementary.
- It's mild, and I think that is a good thing.
I'm gonna move this back,
because I'm second-guessing that.
And then I don't know if this beats it.
- No, it doesn't beat it, it's not better than the Joe-Joes,
it's not better than the Joe-Joes.
Let's let Joe-Joes be in first place for now.
- Again, we're noncommittal, I'm going,
- Just somewhere over there.
- You know, somewhere over here.
Next up we have Trader Joe's Pumpkin Butter.
I'm gonna keep saying Trader Joe's, but that's kinda
the whole point of this whole thing.
- You can say TJ's.
- I'll get to that point.
- Now what is pumpkin butter?
Is this just like, is it like apple butter,
but they use pumpkins instead of,
I don't even know what apple butter is, though,
that's the thing.
- If you add sour cream, you can make it into pumpkin soup,
which I'm not really interested in.
I would just spread it on stuff, because Halloween.
- This smells like the interior of a pumpkin,
just smell it.
You know when you stick your head into a pumpkin.
You know every Halloween when you do that.
Doesn't it smell like the innards?
- No, it's spicier than that.
It smells like, a spicy pumpkin.
- Like a three-week-old pumpkin.
Like a pumpkin that, my mom would leave a pumpkin out, boy.
She would until it just sort of collapsed on itself.
- Ooh, that's strong.
Yeah, I wouldn't recommend eating this like yogurt,
'cause this packs a punch guys.
- I don't care for this, it tastes like you put
a candle in a blender.
- It really does, that's exactly right.
It's like, hey, let's take that candle and make applesauce.
Not gonna work. - This is something
you eat under dire circumstances.
- But, I mean, in fairness, you're supposed to spread
a little bit, or use it as an ingredient.
- Nobody told me that rule, put it at eight.
- I agree.
Alright, next up we got, oh, they added
some honey roasted to the pumpkin ravioli here.
- How do they honey roast pump--
- They're hedging. - That has to be a mistake.
- If you gotta add honey, then you're scared.
You know, it's like, this must not be good,
'cause they were like pumpkin ravioli,
mmm god, this isn't good.
- Some guy in the peanut plant's like,
what else can I honey roast?
I'm a honey roast expert, and they got me,
they tell me to stay in my lane.
- Stay in your lane honey roaster.
- How 'bout ravioli?
I've been shot down for 17 years.
Notice how we just picked it up like it was a chip.
- Not bad, eh? - I might like it.
- We gotta befriend that honey roaster.
Come on over to our house.
We don't live together.
- But think about how much better it would be
if it didn't have the pumpkin part.
- That's a good question.
- 'Cause ravioli's really good just right
from the beginning.
- Oh, what is that, a string, oh, that's cheese.
- The cheese and the pumpkin together, not a good, I--
- I like it.
I might like it. - Really?
It's not better than Joe-Joes.
- No nos, not better.
It's not better than yogurt.
- Okay, it's better than pumpkin butter,
I'll give you that much.
- Let me put it right in there.
I'm gonna throw the rest of that away.
Now we're moving on to Trader Joe's
Pumpkin Flavored Dog Treats.
'Cause you know your dog's like,
oh, it's October again, I get the pumpkin treats.
Now dogs will eat pumpkin, I believe.
Like if you give 'em, oh no, cows, that's what it is.
- Oh no, cows.
- I always get 'em confused, I'm like what's that
big dog out there in that pasture?
It's a cow. - Since when have you
been feeding pumpkins to cows?
- My mom and-- - You know, that's not
an everyday relatable experience.
Oh cows, you know cows, they eat pumpkins.
- My mom and her husband, Louis, shout out to Louis.
- Yeah, I like him.
- He's a happy person.
- He's always happy, I've never seen him unhappy.
- I talked to him yesterday, I was like,
how are you doing, he was like, I'm happy.
I'm so happy, and then he kept going.
Happy, happy, happy.
- I'm just feeding pumpkins to cows left and right.
- I couldn't be happier.
I went to his house, and we went out to the pasture,
and all of the rejected pumpkins after Halloween,
we gave them to the cows, and they devoured it,
kind of like this, oh, that's hard.
- And then it makes the cows taste like pumpkin spice.
The milk. - The milk,
and the cheese, and the meats.
It's hard, brace yourself.
- You gotta have a canine jaw to get into this thing.
- Bovine, bovine stomach and a canine jaw.
- Guys, they lied.
- There is no pumpkin flavor at all in this.
- There is no pumpkin spice.
You know what, it's shaped like a pumpkin.
It does not taste any different,
'cause your freaking dog doesn't know.
It's not like he's gonna say, hey guys,
there's no pumpkin in here.
That's why we're eating 'em.
- Not gonna eat it is what they would say.
Trader Joe, you have lied to the dogs of the world.
Get your act together, son.
- Put that last man.
It's a lie, it's a lie.
- I was gonna pull one over on you, but I'm gonna
shift these down.
Next up we got Trader Joe's Pumpkin Bagels.
See, I keep thinking I need to open it,
but you've already done that.
I'm like, brahhhhhh.
- Link, you don't need to open it,
- Let me open it.
- I've got one right here for you.
- I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
- Now we have cream cheese we can put on here,
but I feel like that would adulterate it,
and I want it to be unadulterated.
- Tastes like a dog treat.
- Super subtle. - It hits you later.
- Not bad. - You start chewing it,
and it's a dry thing, so once you hydrate it in your mouth,
you start to get some pumpkin flavors.
- But it feels like one of those things that
it wasn't necessary, - Totally unnecessary.
- It didn't bring anything to a bagel.
So far, the cookies, it tastes like a pumpkin pie
turned into a cookie, like it feels like
it's purposeful on all fronts.
- I think this is overcommitting to pumpkin,
and you wanna leave your bagel as a blank canvas
for whatever you, or your friends, guests, loved ones,
may want to do, so I think this,
this is a disappointment.
'Cause you can put pumpkin butter on this,
on a regular bagel, and I bet it would taste good.
- Yeah, you don't want your bagels making decisions for you.
- Next up we have, you guessed it,
Trader Joe's Pumpkin Tortilla Chips.
I'm not gonna open these, 'cause you already did.
- My theory about these is that, also unnecessary,
but here you go.
- We're out of our gourd with excitement.
We're ready to squash any sentiment to the contrary.
The copy is great on the back of this.
Trader Joe's Pumpkin Tortilla Chips stand alone
in the preeminent permutation of that perennially
preferred plant, pumpkin.
- Hold on, they're doing the same thing we did?
- They're trying to outdo your Ps man.
- Oh gosh, I think they did outdo 'em.
- Very salty, very corny, and then, do I get to pumpkin?
- Super subtle, but pretty good, though.
I don't dislike it when it happens.
- That's 'cause it doesn't taste like pumpkin,
do you taste it?
- There's moreso than the dog treats.
But it's definitely not,
definitely is not gonna dethrone anything.
I'd say that it's between the ravioli
and the pumpkin butter at this point.
These two stand well above the rest.
- This is a gimmick man.
I think the pumpkin butter in the right quantity
is better than the chips, but we can switch that later.
- And finally, this should be good.
- Mmm, Trader Joe's Pumpkin Ice Cream, super premium.
- Good, I'm glad you said that.
- [Link] It's got milk in it Rhett, so go easy.
- It's fine, I can, portion control.
- For the sake of Halloween science, autumnal equinox,
you're gonna do this.
- That's good. - That's bad.
Oh, it gets better.
- I think it's pretty good man.
- Ice cream is something I don't like messing with,
like don't add mint to it.
- Oh, come on now.
- I mean if you don't like mint chocolate chip ice cream,
you can't really like pumpkin spice.
So I'm almost gonna recuse myself here.
- Yeah, I agree with that.
I don't really understand it, but I agree with it.
This makes sense. - Now coffee ice cream I love,
and this brand is good in coffee.
- This feels appropriate and it feels appropriately flavored
and it feels like ice cream is a palette,
that's the whole point of ice cream,
it's not just vanilla, you add a bunch of stuff to it
to make it becomes something else.
So if I'm making this judgment alone,
I'm gonna say that it stands - Oh wow.
- In front of the yogurt.
- He's going high y'all.
He's going out on a limb alone.
- Does anything need to be rearranged down there?
- I would say nothing about it was bad
once I got used to it, and I knew what I was expecting,
I'm not gonna disagree with it being in a high ranking.
- But would you definitely say the Pumpkin Joe-Joes
are number one?
- Yeah, I'm loving that.
And you know what, do you wanna switch these?
- I don't see any need to.
- Okay, ladies and gentlemen, I think we've got it
right off the bat with little switching required,
we have determined that the best pumpkin spice thing
is that pumpkin colored Oreo stuff.
- Yeah, so if you're gonna get one thing, get this,
if you're gonna get eight things, get that.
- And let your dog eat some of that.
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