meet your deadlines every time without having to rely on willpower or
discipline keep watching this is life mastery gym I'm Damon Cart and I teach
people just like you cutting edge NLP processes and techniques so that you can
master your life and take charge of your destiny so if that sounds good make sure
you click that subscribe button so that you can get these videos on a regular
basis so willpower are trying to use willpower or self-discipline to try to
meet your deadlines is actually probably what's keeping you from meeting your
deadlines so by the end of this video you're gonna know how to throw that out
and have a much more fluid and easier way to meet your deadlines now I've been
studying NLP for several years I've had to work out a lot of my own issues
around meeting deadlines and wrestling with discipline and willpower and I've
helped hundreds of clients work through this so that meeting deadlines is not
even an issue anymore first of all discipline and willpower
implies that you have to push against some resistance that you have to work
through doing something you don't really want to do and there's always this sort
of friction and the bottom line is is that with willpower and and
self-discipline they're they're kind of like a muscle they're kind of like
strength you can build it up but they are finite they will give out at a
certain point they won't you can always find weight in other words that you
can't lift it doesn't matter how strong you become and if you're using willpower
and discipline it's in it's it's working for you and it can it is more of a
crutch and again you're constantly creating that friction you're constantly
pushing against something in order to get it done at some point it's going
it's going to give out because it is limited what's not limited is your
desire you're going to have desire it's always going to be there so an NLP
what we do is we look at what's already working well we model it and then we
apply that model to what's not working well so in this case you're not meeting
your deadlines or if you are you barely are meeting your deadlines and it's
causing you a lot suffering or stress and so we don't want to do that now
isn't it interesting that if you are chronically late meeting your deadlines
how consistent you are about doing that so the first question to ask yourself
how is it you're so consistent about being late how is it that you're so
consistent about not meeting your deadlines or if you are meeting your
deadlines but it's always at the last minute how is it you're so consistent
with doing that doesn't that sound like kind of like what you would like to be
just meeting the deadline instead but it's that consistency that tells us or
tell it should tell you that you have a system in place that is making this
happen consistently so there's already a success successful system in there it's
just not doing what what it is you want it to do so a lot of times people think
that they're sloppy that things are too random that they're just that they're
not very organized but in actuality no it's that set up that system that
organization that consistently produces the same result that is actually quite
successful so the idea here is well how do you take that and then apply it more
toward what it is that you want the next step is figuring out what is holding
that system in place the system that is consistently making you late or
consistently pushing things to the last minute what is it that is valuable about
being late I know that sounds unusual because we don't think about it like
that because consciously you're not you don't value this because it's it's
causing you a lot of stress but actually unconsciously there is a part of you
that is attempting to fulfill some sort of value or it could be more
than one value with this strategy of being late
so you want to find out what that is this is the only way you're going to
integrate this resistance we don't want to push resistance away what we call
resistance in fact you can start looking at resistance in a whole new way
resistance is not something that's trying to stop you necessarily it's
actually a part of you that's trying to do something valuable for you it's
trying to fulfill a value or a set of values it's just a strategy that's not
working very well or it may may be an old strategy I've done videos on value
solicitations and I'll I will link one here and you can also if you look in the
description there are more links to other videos it is worth your time to
drill down on a good value solicitation I use value solicitations for everything
that I do anytime I want to start something new
any time I encounter resistance any time I'm not sure about something I do a
value solicitation when I'm coaching clients the first thing I do with a
client is elicit their values because it's not on the surface which what you
think you want on the surface is just the tip of the iceberg there is so much
more that goes so much deeper and so you need to know what that what that is and
that includes resistance or what even people call self-sabotage
there is an underlying value there that is trying to be fulfilled and when you
can understand what that is then you can integrate it without understanding what
that value is you can't integrate it into what it is you want overall so take
the time to elicit the value of being late now what does this do for me get in
touch with that part of you that's that's responsible for that welcome it
and ask it what is it doing for you in a positive way by the way a positive
intent is the same thing as a value so intention and value basically the same
thing so you go to that part and you and I would work this out on paper and say
okay what is it it's in you know this part of me and you can actually imagine
you're talking to it and say what is it you're trying to do for me in a positive
way and then once you get that answer then you go even further and you say
well what's important about that or what does that do for me
just keep doing that until your list of these really high level values they're
these really high-level and tangible values like happiness peace love joy
that's when you know you're hitting the good stuff and then you'll want to do a
value solicitation on meeting your deadlines so what's important about
meeting your deadlines and then once you get that answer say okay well you know
what would this do for me and keep going down that line of questioning like I
said I you check that other video where I go more in depth with this
once you have chunked up to these higher values on either side the part of you
that's resisting and the part of you that that wants to meet the deadlines
you're gonna start to find a lot of common values why is that because you're
one whole human being and actually though some of your parts might seem to
be in opposition to each other you actually want your your whole being
wants to function together harmoniously peacefully we're hardwired to do that
it's just that there's obstacles that get in our way internally and one way
you can work that out is by doing a value solicitation on either side
realizing that your highest values work very well together this is also a
conflict integration and so you start figuring out okay between the two parts
you negotiate how can I get all my values met with both parts how can this
part that seems to be resisting meeting the deadlines how can that be a part of
how can that become a new alliance and work together conscious and unconscious
working together to meet those deadlines and making sure that whatever this part
is trying to fulfill whatever value or values this part is trying to fulfill
that those values get fulfilled as well once you merge these two and once you
integrate these two you will be firing on all cylinders moving toward what it
is that you want coming from a place of wholeness rather than being divided and
trying to will your way or discipline your way to getting what you consciously
want another great technique to use for something like this is mapping across so
what is it that you do consistently you probably don't even
about it as being a deadline because as soon as you think of something as being
a deadline it you go I don't know if I want to do that and that's not fun I
want to go distract myself with something else so what is it something
something that you do probably daily that does not take willpower and that
does not take self-discipline and you don't really see it as a deadline it's
just something you consistently do what I like to suggest to clients is I will
ask them I'll say do you brush your teeth every morning especially the ones
who are dealing with procrastinating and and not meeting their deadlines I'll say
do you brush your teeth every morning and they'll say will of course say well
how do you get the discipline the willpower to do that every single
morning year after year I mean you've been doing this since you were a child
how do you muster that that discipline that how do you muster that motivation
and they say well I don't really think about it I just do it because I you know
I already know that I want to keep my teeth and I want my teeth to be clean
and so what they're telling me what they're saying basically is they've
already made a commitment to this they already know what they value in this and
there is no resistance because their whole entire being once good breath once
clean teeth doesn't want their teeth to rot and fall out so it's quite natural
so wouldn't you like to be able to meet your deadlines that easily to where it's
not something you think about it's not something you have to will yourself to
do or get or motivate yourself to do you just naturally do it so there's a
process called mapping across and once again yes I have done a video on mapping
across you will find that link in the description I'll link it to the video
too and it's worth again it's worth your time drilling down on this process it's
a process that is it's one of those early NLP processes that you find
throughout almost every process not every process but a lot of processes in
NLP even the advanced once you mapping across is inescapable because it's a
part of the way that we model in NLP and the way that we usually do mapping
across not the only way but the way that we usually do it is using sub modalities
so when you think about brushing your teeth what do you see and
there is a location of that image or of that movie so a lot of us especially are
the visual people will actually see an image of themselves brushing their teeth
or they may see a movie of themselves brushing their teeth and that visual
actually has a location now I'll ask people all the time I'll say oh so I'll
say where do you see that they say well in my bathroom
and I'm like okay now it's not what I mean I mean where in your personal space
is that image or movie positioned and another way of asking it is just saying
well point to where you've seen that and I can usually tell by where their eyes
go anyway and I'll say wha so your eyes go here so I think that that's over
there and they'll say no I was looking at the wall no no yes your eyes may have
been set on the wall but you're having internal images and when you have
internal internal images they always have a location so let's say I see
myself brushing my teeth right here and then I will ask them okay well where
where do you see yourself not meeting your deadlines like when how do you know
that that even happens and so again it's usually an image of course you can be
very auditory or kinesthetic and it might you might get something else and
don't say it's just a thought you don't just have a thought I thought how would
you know if you're having a thought the only way you can know that you're having
a thought is by some sort of sensory based experiences happening it's meaning
you're seeing something you're hearing something you're feeling something or a
combination of two of those or three of those so let's say I see myself being or
procrastinating and not meeting my deadlines and that image is right here
now I want to take note of some other sub modalities I want to take note of
well how rich or the color is how light or dark is this image compared to the
one of me brushing my teeth you're going to notice a lot of little differences
you this picture might be very small this picture might be very big this one
might be a movie and this one's a still image so you want to take note of all
these differences in fact I would also recommend that you write them down so
what you can do then is you can look at this image and look at this image and
move this image into the location here and give the image
you procrastinating all the attributes of the new image and then change what
you're doing from procrastinating to doing the things that you need to do to
meet your deadlines while giving it all those sub modalities all those
distinctions so you're taking something that you're very consistent about that
you do consistently brushing your teeth and you're giving this new behavior all
of these attributes whatever the colors are whatever the size of the images is
their sound or is there no sound is it a movie is it a still image and so now
here you will see yourself meeting your deadlines and this will you'd quite
amazing now it is possible that you will experience resistance to this because
this was over here for a reason and again you were you were not meeting your
deadlines for a particular reason but if you've done a value solicitation and you
clearly understand the intention and you've resolved that conflict this
should stay there shouldn't be any resistance but if there is then you do a
value solicitation on that resistance and then integrate that those values
into this and then this should stay and it should be a permanent change and then
see what happens from there if you want to take this deeper and you want to take
this even further because let's be honest what we're really talking about
here is behavioral but what really controls behavior well your identity is
in charge of your behavior who you believe yourself to be informs what you
will do who you will become into the future and what will you have so if you
want to accomplish a lot or you have you have things that you want to do and you
have things that you want to create in your life like a wonderful life you have
to go to the Identity level to do that and so what I'm offering is a free
assessment it's also in the description right down below you just click that
link it'll bring you to a page where you answer some questions and then it puts
together the assessment and it we take it one area of life at a time so you
focus on the area of life that you most want to create something
become something change achieve some sort of goal and we what we start there
you answer those questions you get the assessment and it'll help clear the way
for you to start moving in that direction
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