- ♪ Doo, doo, doo, doo ♪
♪ Doo, doo! ♪ (grumbles)
(slot machine dinging, coins clattering) - (man) Woo-hoo! Yeah!
All right! I win! I'm the winner!
- (Ian) SHUT UP!
- Hey, guess who got their first unemployment check for 50 bucks.
- That's cool. Well, while your poor ass
collects money from the government,
I just made something that's gonna make me rich.
- What? - Well, you know all those people
that got rich off phone apps, like, you know,
the ones that make your phone make fart noises and stuff?
- Yeah, so? - (Ian) Like...
(imitates flatulence)
Well, anyway, I used my entire life savings
and developed this app for the Android app market.
I call it the Shut Up! app.
Say something to the phone. - Like what?
- (app) SHUT UP! - Whoa, it's--
- (app) SHUT UP!
- You see, every time you say something to the phone,
it tells you to shut up.
And I'm selling it for a buck. - Wait, wait, wait, okay.
So you spent your entire life savings developing this thing?
- Yeah. - (cracks up) My god! You--
You are an idiot! No one is gonna buy that thing.
I wouldn't buy it-- - (app) SHUT UP!
- So how many people downloaded your stupid app?
- It's not stupid. It's revolutionary. I'm checking right now.
- Okay, so you went from zero downloads... - (Ian) Right.
- ...all the way to... ONE?!
(laughing hysterically)
OH MY GOD! - Stop ROFLing at me!
Nobody ROFLs in real life, idiot!
- (Anthony) Oh my god! It went from zero to one!
(laughter continues) - (spits)
- What? - According to this graph,
I haven't gotten one download.
I've gotten one million.
- (spits)
- I'm rich!!! Yeah!! (chuckles)
And, uh, probably don't want to drink out of that. I spit in that.
- (spits)
- Look at all this money! I'm rich! Yeah!
(laughing maniacally)
(coins clattering)
Whoa! That is a sweet top. How much for it?
- It's not for sale.
(ding)
- And that concludes the bidding on this lovely item.
Next up is another one of Picasso's earliest sketches.
He did this when he was a child.
Starting-- - Oh, oh! $50,000!
- Sir, he haven't announced the starting bid yet.
- Oh, $150,000.
- $150,000?
Very well. Anybody else?
Going once? Going twice?
- A million dollars! My final offer!
- Sold to the gentleman in the women's clothing.
- Yessss.
(birds chirping)
♪ (classical music) ♪ (knocking)
- ¿Sí?
- Uh, hi, is Ian here?
- (Ian) Maria Consuela, I told you not to answer the door again!
It could be another relative begging for money.
- Sí lo siento, se-- - Get out-- just get out of here.
Get out of here.
So anyway, it's not so much about the length as it is the girth.
It's very girthy. Uh...
Oh, sorry. Hey, talk to you later, Obama. All right, bye.
Hey, how's it going?
- Oh, you know, just hanging in there, you know, just--
- Hey. That Maria chick is pretty hot, huh?
Something about German girls just makes me want to--
(growls like a tiger) - Um, yeah.
So I was wondering if you want to play some Super Head Esploder?
- Oh, no, I don't have time for childish games like that.
See, I gotta pick up another painting
that Picasso did when he was three.
I mean, it's not the best, but you pay for the name.
- (Maria) Señor Ian, lunchtime!
- Yes! Taco Tuesday!
See ya.
No, you shut up. - (app) SHUT UP!
- No, you shut up. - (app) SHUT UP!
- (giggles) Man, I never get tired of this thing.
- (app) SHUT UP!
- Excuse me?
- Oh, uh, no, it was just the phone.
- (chuckles) I'm pretty sure you just said--
- (app) SHUT UP!
- You're gonna pay for that, you little emo kid.
- (huffs in aggravation)
I'm not emo.
And I'm specially trained in ninjutsu
and can rip your heart out with two fingers!
Prepare to die!
(manic shouting)
♪ (mournful music) ♪
- (announcer) But wait! There's more!
Go to smosh.com to watch a deleted scene and see a video
that Anthony made by himself because Ian's dead.
And don't forget to download the Smosh Shut Up! app.
It's real! It's really real!
- (app) SHUT UP! - (announcer) OMG!