Hey Sona.
Hi Conan.
How are you?
Yeah, I'm okay.
Yeah, you feeling all right?
No, I'm not.
I'm very pregnant, but I'm okay.
You are incredibly pregnant.
I found out today I have two babies,
that are both weighing over six pounds.
Wow!
I'm carrying 12 pounds of human.
That sounds like their fully clothed in utero.
They're wearing heavy corduroy jackets,
and they've got work boots on.
That's 48 McDonald's quarter pounders.
Good god.
Now I want McDonald's.
(all laughing)
But that's a lot of baby.
I will compliment you and Matt, you will back me up on this.
You have visited the show a couple of times recently.
You're not allowed to drive,
but you're very nice, cool husband Tak drives you,
and you'll visit us on the set.
And everyone says the same thing.
You have two babies,
and they're all concentrated in this one area of your body.
And the rest of you just looks amazing.
You just look, not that, I mean-
That's true.
And all the women are freaked out.
They're like, oh my god, if you just, you know, didn't know,
if you didn't look at that one part of your body,
where it looks like someone is trying to hide,
I'll just say it, one of those mini fridges
under your dress.
Ah, you really romanticize pregnancy.
Yeah, well.
Instead of, you know, some COORS Light,
you've got two, 26-pound babies in you.
But no, but you're, you really look amazing.
That's what I'm saying here. Well thank very much.
It took me a long time to get there.
But everyone says it. No, I appreciate that.
You look very beautiful.
That's very nice.
feel like I kind of actually maybe lost weight,
but yeah, which is weird.
But I'm cool.
I feel like I'm crushing it and yeah, I'm just ready.
You're ready.
This is the stage, I remember my wife both times,
being very ready towards the end.
Like I think she said, "Get this monster out of me."
Yeah, I'm ready. That's what she said
several times.
I'm ready.
Sleeping, moving, doing anything, I'm ready.
Right, and what about you, Matt?
I'm good, I'm hanging in there.
I mean, I'm no champ like Sona.
You're an inspiration, Sona.
You look amazing, and it's incredible all you do
during all of this.
Thanks, Matt.
You're welcome. What a nice moment.
Science is gonna make it possible
for a man to carry a child.
I would love to. Why?
I would love to. No.
Would you?
Yes, I would, I'm kind of jealous.
I'm gonna be very honest, I'm not jealous at all.
I think you're insane.
Really, the miracle of childbirth?
Yeah, but I just, I'm just freaking me out right now.
Just thinking about it.
Gourley think about you carrying a child.
Yeah, think about it.
I could waddle in, I sit down and I go, ahhhhh.
(deep sigh) Hi guys.
(laughing)
Well, that's not that different from what you do now.
(laughing) I know, that's true.
You don't really waddle, but you're-
Oh, my god. This transformation
that you just went into as the first man to give birth.
It's so, I little I know.
Let's see, yeah, (deep sigh), "Hi guys."
No I, it is of course the miracle of twins.
Twins.
And you're going to instantly have these two humans.
Yeah, yeah I am.
Any thoughts about what they might look like?
Do you ever try and picture them?
I think they're gonna be two little hairy Armenian babies.
(laughing)
I don't know how to, they're gonna be,
you know, like olive-skinned.
They're gonna have a lotta hair.
You make it sound like they're gonna be born
fully bearded.
They gonna have thick beards?
Eight pounds of that, 12 is just hair.
Armenian babies can have beards
by the time they're like two, I think.
I don't know.
Wow.
Yeah, I don't know.
There'll be born, and then,
like literally three hours later, they'll have to shave.
(laughing)
The nurse is here.
No, I'm fine.
I can breastfeed.
No, no, she's here to shave them.
(laughing)
She's just wearing a barber smock.
Yeah, she's like, "I don't wanna take care of that."
The baby's like, (whistling).
What do you read in the papers?
They want to eat hummus instead of breast milk.
When I was born, my mom said
that I was a fat little Buddha, a little fat baby.
And she said that I had
bright orange wispy orangutan hair,
that was sticking straight up.
Ah, that's adorable.
Did she say it in a loving way,
or was she like, "I was horrified"?
No, she was not horrified.
But I was the only one there are, you know,
six siblings in my family, and I was the only one
with that kind of orange, copper hair.
And so it was, you know, even when I showed up,
you know, people were like, "What's this all about?"
You know, there's a buzz that went through the hallway.
Oh, come on.
And people were like,
"This kid's gonna do things someday.
Someday he's gonna have a podcast."
I was a really ugly baby,
and my mom cried when she saw me.
What, really?
Yeah, and she loves telling me this story,
which is, I don't know why,
but she cried 'cause she thought I was ugly.
And then the nurse was like,
"She's not always gonna look like that."
I'm preparing you.
Things can get mushed around a little bit.
My daughter, when she was born was absolutely beautiful.
Just stunningly beautiful.
And my son is a very handsome young man,
very good looking guy.
Yes, he is absolutely.
And, but when he was born, you know,
it's quite a traumatic process.
And the face is very malleable when the child is born.
So I got a look at the baby, and so did Liza.
And we were concerned,
because he looked like Ed Asner after a bar fight.
(laughing)
He really did. Oh, god.
Looked like he had gone- Oh my god.
Like he had fought off like six people.
He looked like an angry, old sports writer
who had tried his hand at boxing,
and it hadn't gone well.
That's what he looked like. Oh, my god.
And we were just like,
"Oh, well I'm sure he'll be a kind person."
Oh my god.
And then literally within like three days,
he started to look completely different.
And I was like,
"Oh right, you know, the trauma of childbirth."
I was gonna say, thank God he has no memory of that.
But you've recorded it here for all-
Oh no, every day I tell him, man, when you first,
I mean, everyday at breakfast,
he'll show, he'll arrive.
And I'll say, "Man, when you showed up,
you were just a hot fuckin' mess."
(laughing)
And then I'm like, "Waffles?"