hey guys so it is Thursday the day that
I am supposed to upload a video but I am
running so behind this week and I kind
of just wanted to catch up with you guys
as to why only I really hate it when
youtubers like make these update videos
just basically like complaining about
their lives but there were a couple
things that I want to address in this
video mostly the reason why I don't have
a video out this week is that things
have just been really crazy recently
last week was finals week at UCLA
normally I film in like the few hours
that my roommates aren't home I haven't
even asked some of their schedules over
the period of the quarter I've been able
to like figure out when they
consistently aren't home but obviously
during finals week they were home
studying so it's a lot harder to film
that's kind of something that I wanted
to talk about in general is just how
hard it is to try to film videos
consistently when I don't have a space
of my own I don't want to complain too
much because obviously YouTube is an
amazing job and my life is just
infinitely better than it was when I was
like working minimum wage at the dining
halls till 3 a.m. but recently it has
really been getting to me that I don't
have my own space I feel like my entire
schedule is just in the hands of chance
because I'll plan my whole schedule
around when I think I can shoot a video
and then if suddenly like my roommate
has a change of plans at their home or
even like appearance is another thing I
try not to be like too superficial
because obviously everybody has a good
day on their bad days and I don't want
to be like fake and [ __ ] but it is kind
of hard to film when like your face is
full of acne because you've been really
stressed out or my face gets like really
puffy you and I haven't had enough sleep
and sometimes it can just be hard to
film I try to be pretty genuine with you
guys and I don't think that I have like
a fake personality on camera like it's
pretty much just me but to a certain
extent I do have to be like ah if I've
gotten like 3 hours of sleep and I am
dead tired and I'm not having it I'm not
gonna be able to film a thrift haul and
it's not gonna come out great I do have
to kind of be like in the zone to talk
about clothing coherently and not just
be rambling and be able to make a couple
jokes here and there hopefully that are
kind of funny maybe and another thing is
like as my channel grows I'm trying to
put out better content for you guys I
want every video to be better than the
last so I feel like I failed myself if I
upload like a really shitty video maybe
like this one it's a lot lower quality
than my other ones if I'm not as funny
if the lighting isn't as good as my
cinematography and editing isn't as
OnPoint as other videos it really just
like I'm really trying to push myself I
want to be the best at everything but
it's hard to do that when I am also
enrolled full-time in school I don't
have my own space I'm also editing two
videos a week for some other youtubers
but that is all to say this is still a
fantastic job and I'm still gonna be
doing my best to get a video out every
single week I've been really good at it
so far this quarter I think I just
needed this week to kind of refuel it's
also my spring break so I'm trying to
hang out with my friends and family a
lot I think this is gonna be one of the
last times that I ever really come home
back to Maryland because I'm staying in
LA for the summer speaking of the summer
though I applied to a bunch of
internships none of them have called me
back at this point I kind of don't think
that I'm gonna have an internship but
I'm actually kind of excited about that
because in the past I've always filled
my summers with internships or classes
or working at a restaurant or like the
good ol ice cream store here in Maryland
but this summer I'm just gonna take for
myself I'm moving into a new apartment
so I'll have a whole room to myself
who's really exciting and I think I
might actually have the whole apartment
to myself for a lot of the summer too so
I'm gonna have so much time and so much
space to film I'm really excited I
really want to take my youtube channel
seriously and make a really good content
for you guys something that has also
been on my mind it's actually something
that I've wanted to make for like around
a year now is a webseries I started
writing it but I haven't gotten that far
yet but basically it's about like tinder
struggles I wanted to be called swipe
right and it's gonna be about this girl
who's just gotten into college going on
her first tinder dates I know that this
is obviously a fashion YouTube channel
so that's a little bit off-brand
but I feel like a lot of you guys are
also here for my sense of humor and
maybe my filmmaking ability even though
you haven't seen that much of it yet let
me know if that would be something you
guys would be interested in it would be
a such a cool project to take on during
the summer um so yeah basically during
the summer I will be YouTube being a
full-time I guess which is crazy to say
I don't know Jesus but I feel like this
is like the leap of faith I need I've
been taking YouTube pretty seriously now
for awhile but I just want to really
commit myself for it and it'll be a good
test run as well I'm graduating college
next year so I don't know if I want to
do YouTube forever but if I really enjoy
myself this summer it might be something
that I can really dedicate myself to
after I graduate as you guys know I'm
also in film school though and I do
really want to be a writer like a TV
writer or a showrunner that would be so
cool so that's something I'm also
working on I feel like when I'm 40
that's what I want to be I don't know
it's weird because like that and YouTube
are two really separate worlds but
that's why I was thinking of doing the
webseries because I'd be able to combine
my writing and my
YouTube channel and like film school
production East stuff so yeah let me
know what you guys would think about
that otherwise I'm just gonna be
churning out so much content that summer
I'm so excited so again sorry I don't
have like a real video for this week I
absolutely hate being a flake but I
really did just need this week to kind
of just like untense a little bit turn
into a little bit of a pile of mush I'll
be back next week with more videos for
you guys so I'll see you then bye
[Music]