-Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg
-Shut up!
-[sighs] Come on, Ian. Hurry up.
-[Ian groans] Saint Patrick's Day is so dumb.
Do Irish people even believe in this stupid leprechaun crap?
-Okay, I know it sounds little crazy, but all holidays are like that.
Can you imagine how stupid it'd be
if holidays were actually realistic?
-Ahh! What the hell?!
I'm f--king stuck! F--king motherf--ker!
[yelling]
-Oh, this Easter egg hunt is so cool!
-I got jellybeans in mine.
-Hey, where do you think these come from, anyway?
-[grunting sound]
Happy Easter! [grunting]
-[whimpers]
[retches]
-[speaking slowly]: I think the both of our peoples
working together can benefit everyone.
-Why is he talking like that?
-I think he might be mentally challenged.
-That explains the stupid hat.
-Pika! Pika! I got so much candy!
-Check every piece of candy before you eat it, young man.
You know there might be razor blades in there.
-Come on, Mom. When has anyone ever-- Bleeh!!
-[slurring]: I wanna make out with someone
and blame it on being drunk!
-Okay, class.
Christopher Columbus definitely intended to find America,
he definitely found America first,
and he definitely wasn't responsible
for the savage murder of all the natives.
-Good. Good.
-[affectionately]: I love you, my snickernoodle.
-(both) You're so cute.
-(Anthony) I love you. I love you more. -I wuv you.
-So... what'd you get me for Mother's Day, son?
-[scoffs] You're not my mom.
-Or am I?
Yeah, that idiot totally bought it.
I'm getting a Father's Day AND a Mother's Day gift this year.
Yeah! -Life hack!
-Yeah, I guess that would be pretty dumb.
-Told you.
-Well, I'm gonna go pinch some people for not wearing green.
Pinch. [laughs devilishly]
[hums]
-[Irish accent]: Well, you tell that bitch, Tinkerbell,
she'd better have all me money and in gold, too.
-[thinking]: Oh, my God, leprechauns are real!
-I had 20 bucks on Notre Dame, the lousy--
-I caught you, leprechaun! Now take me to your gold!
-Oh, dang it.
All right, get it there.
-Okay. -Go on.
I'll give you some gold.
-(Ian) So where's the gold?
[unzipping sound] Why are you unzipping that?
[leprechaun laughing] Oh, my God! No!
No, please! No! Oh God, it hurts!
Please stop, it hurts!
-What's wrong, boy?
-The gold coins are hurting my hands.
-Well, at least you got some free money.
-I certainly did!
-Always trust a man in a big white van
[ding!]
-To see bloopers and a scene for April Fools' Day
and birthday-- is that even a holiday?--
click the link in the description below!
-[cheers]
-Thanks for subscribing!
Now I'm off to go buy a white van.
[creepily]: Anyone want some freee goooold?
[chuckles creepily] Captioned by SpongeSebastian