-Our next guest is a very funny comedian
whose stand-up special "Good Clean Filth"
is streaming now on HBO Max.
Let's take a look.
-I found the best way to discourage something in bed
that you're not into is to try to get them
to not be into it on their own, you know?
Try to ruin it for them.
So, I gave in at first.
It was hard, but I was like, "Oh, yeah, does daddy like that?
What about this? Does daddy like this?"
And by the end of it, I was just like,
"Dada! Dada! Dada! Dada! Dada! Dada! Pbht!"
-Please welcome back to the show Nikki Glaser, everybody!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Hi, Nikki! How are you?
-I'm so good, Seth Meyers.
-You look wonderful, as always. -Thank you. I forgot a bra.
-Oh, well. -Aw. Sometimes happens.
-Sometimes that's how it goes.
-You know what I realized? -What's that?
-I look like you.
-Ohh.
-I have makeup on, but that's really the only difference
between our faces. -Yeah.
-We have the same face, and it's --
I am flattered that I look like you.
I'm complimenting myself, and I'm not insulting you.
-Well, I've always found you very attractive,
so this makes sense now.
-That's so -- [ Laughs ]
Like a true narcissist. Exactly. Like, yes.
No, I realize, though,
that most women's faces without makeup just do look --
You can pretty much pair them with a guy
because guys are just -- We have the same faces.
For instance, if I was to ask the audience to, like,
draw a picture of a smiley face
and I go, "Now make it a woman," what would you do?
You wouldn't, like, scribble a vagina.
Like, no one even knows how to draw one of those.
You wouldn't, like, make it holding less money.
You would just add eyelashes. It's what sets...
women and men apart is makeup, so thank God for it.
But do you know who we look like?
And this I was hurt by.
-This is late breaking news. You brought a photo.
-I just came up with it backstage because I go,
"Oh, my God,"
because someone told me I look like this duo.
But now I go, "I got a partner, and now we look like this duo."
We look like the Nelson brothers from Nelson.
[ Laughter ]
Get up here with me. -Yeah, there we go.
[ Laughter ]
Yeah. -I mean, look at us.
Look at that. -There you go.
-It's -- It's spooky. And I like it.
So thanks for sharing it with me.
-I mean, I've always been a fan of theirs, too.
This is all coming together.
-Do you ever -- Have you ever put on makeup?
Have you ever like -- Sometimes I see a guy's face
and I'm like, "I just want to get a little eyeliner in there."
-I remember I played one of the cast members
in a "Desperate Housewives" sketch in "SNL" back in the day.
-Yes. -I looked great, yeah.
-You would!
It's amazing what it does. It's, um --
I spray tan my body constantly.
Like, my regular pallor is probably like
a Uncle Fester-ish color,
and when people recognize me without makeup,
I honestly get offended.
I go, "You think I look like this?"
'Cause I spray paint my body.
I use Sally Hansen leg spray. This is all painted on.
It's all gonna -- My shower is gonna look like
the water in Flint, Michigan, when I bathe later.
That is not an insult. It's a problem. Let's fix it.
[ Laughter ]
-It is. Let's fix it. -Yeah, that's still happening.
It's a nice reminder of it in that joke
that I made fun of them. -We were talking backstage.
You moved back to your hometown...
-Of St. Louis. -...of St. Louis at the
beginning of the pandemic, and then it took.
-I was scared because the world was shutting down
and I didn't have comedy clubs and podcasts
to fill my life with, and so I was like,
"I need to go to Mommy and Daddy."
And so I went back to St. Louis
for what I thought would be like two weeks,
like we all did, like, "Until this blows over."
And then I lived there for 10 months
with my parents in their house at the age of 35.
I eventually had to move out because it was getting
embarrassing to have people ask me where I was living
and I'd say, "I live with my parents,"
and they'd be like, "Why?"
And so I got rid of that therapist, and I was like,
"I don't really want to talk about that anymore.
Can we talk about why I'm so talented?
Like, I loved when we focused on that."
But I eventually moved out,
and then I got an apartment and I lived there
and I had a reality show based on me living there.
-And St. Louis appreciates it.
They had Nikki Glaser Day, April 28th.
-Yes. I think it was just a one-time thing.
-You don't think it's gonna be every April 28th?
-Oh, I would love it so much,
but it was -- it was Nikki Glaser Day.
I, as a comedian, absolutely love attention.
But this just felt like -- I came up with it,
so it felt so embarrassing. It really was --
E!, the network that my reality show,
"Welcome Home Nikki Glaser?" -- still streaming on Peacock...
It was -- E! bought Nikki Glaser Day.
You can buy a day in the city.
And they gave me a proclamation from the mayor.
They gave me a key to the city.
-Wow. Double key. -Double key.
-Double-key guest day. -I know! You're getting 'em all.
-And you threw out a first pitch at a Cardinals game.
-Yes, at the Busch Stadium. Threw out the first pitch.
Which I did not want to do because I'm not athletic at all.
I got first voted off "Dancing with the Stars."
It's like -- It's traumatic for me.
-Yeah. -But I accepted
because it's every -- It's, like, my boyfriend --
It's all my best guy friends' Make-A-Wish to do this.
So they're like, "You got to do it!"
So I did it, and I did not do as well as I wanted.
I will not watch the footage. I don't know how it went.
People keep sending it to me as an abusive tactic.
I block them.
-Is that bad that we have the footage?
-Do I -- Can I close my eyes a little bit?
Can I watch it like I watch "Saw"?
-I think -- Why don't -- Hey, wait.
Why don't you close your eyes completely
and then, just by the audience reaction,
try to picture what it is? -Okay.
-You tell me if this was as bad as 50 Cent...
-Okay. Here we go. -...and his first pitch.
-Here's Nikki's first pitch. -Oh, God.
-Here comes the windup and the pitch.
[ Laughter ]
Thank you, Nikki!
-Do you see me? Ugh!
Oh. I was so sad. I cried so much later on.
-No, you didn't. -I -- Oh. Oh.
-That was great!
-It was so bad. It was so embarrassing.
But the worst part of that whole thing,
the catcher that I was throwing --
that I tried to throw the ball to
was the guy who lived in my apartment building.
I flirted with him.
I hit on him one day by offering him a dog treat
in the lobby of our hotel -- or of my apartment building,
which I thought would be funny because I was offering --
I go, "Hey, you want to a treat?" to my dog.
And then I go, "Do you want a treat?"
And then I thought that was a good line.
We had a conversation in the elevator.
I then DM'd him to be like, "Hey. Nice meeting you."
Never heard back. So then I had to pitch the ball to --
This was my second pitch to that guy.
And it -- That one was worse, actually.
-He probably saw that pitch,
and he was like, "The one that got away."
-[ Laughter ] -Literally.
-Yeah, exactly. -He was like...
-So, wait. You have a wonderful new stand-up special on Netflix.
You have always been -- -No. HBO.
-Oh, excuse me. I'm so sorry. Let me reboot it.
-I got one on Netflix, too, but HBO.
-Great. Just dabble, everybody.
-Try them all. But HBO. "Good Clean Filth."
-And the other one is --
And your reality show's on Peacock.
-And my reality show's on Peacock,
and "FBoy Island" is on HBO Max.
-So you got a lot of networks covered.
-I got it all covered.
-But your new HBO stand-up special,
you have always been really open about talking about sex,
especially in a way that we never get to talk
about in this society, but I want to ask.
Your parents -- Obviously you're close.
You went and stayed with them during a pandemic.
How do they feel about watching a show like yours,
which is very open about things
that are usually behind closed doors?
-They are such supportive parents, and I didn't realize
that they hated it so much
until they were on my reality show and I heard --
You know those like --
where they do the individual interviews
during reality shows and you watch them and you go,
"Why would this person be saying this stuff?
Don't they know people are gonna hear what they say?"
Like, my mom did that to me.
She was in an interview and she was like,
"You know what? If she wasn't my daughter,
I wouldn't go to her shows. I wouldn't be a fan."
And I go, "Mom, it's supposed to go --
Did you misspeak? If I wasn't your daughter,
maybe you could stomach the stuff that I..."
She goes, "No, I would hate it if -- I only go..."
I look at everyone and I go,
"I can't believe all these people love you.
I can't -- I can't believe it."
That's her way of complimenting me.
But I'll take it. -That's kinda...
There's a sweetness somewhere in there.
-She loves that people love me. It's sweet.
-And what about your dad?
-My dad is the sweetest, so supportive.
He went to my Netflix special taping, which was a couple ago,
and I kicked him out during the middle of it
because it occurred to me
that it might be uncomfortable for him.
And it was the first time that it occurred to me.
And he goes, "It was the first time?"
And I said, "Yes, Dad," because I have to shut that off.
If you're at a show -- I would hate if I went to a show
and I saw Cardi B and she was like,
"Listen, you guys, my dad's in the crowd tonight.
I can't do 'WAP.'"
I would be like, "This is...
This is the wrong show I came to."
So I don't hold back if my dad's there.
But he did not come to this HBO special taping
because he told me that oftentimes when he comes
to my shows afterwards, people come up to him
and treat him like he's at my funeral.
They're like, "Are you okay, man?
Like, do you want us to bring a casserole by later this week?"
Like, he really suffers a lot,
but they are so supportive and I'm really lucky.
-Second season of "FBoy Island."
Give a quick pitch for those who haven't seen.
-Okay, the quick pitch is I have not met one person who says --
Everyone always says, "I don't usually like reality shows,
but I love this one."
You don't have to like reality shows.
You can be one of these people who thinks you're better
than them, but you're not.
This show is amazing. It's addictive.
It's called a tour de force by "Vanity Fair."
And it's funny. I'm hosting it.
All the things you do on your couch
to make fun of these shows, I'm doing it as the host,
so just give it a try, and I bet you'll be hooked.
Three episodes up now on HBO Max.
-That is a pitch, everybody! Nikki Glaser!
"Good Clean Filth" is streaming now on HBO Max.
We'll be right back with more "Late Night."