(light rock music)
- [Nore] It's my favorite season,
gotta respect Mother Nature, man.
I really can't believe people, we're having a fight,
people don't believe in climate change, come on.
You know it's real.
You know people that don't believe in climate change,
those are the people that can't wait
to have polar bears as pets.
(audience laughs)
You're going to see people downtown just like,
"look at my dog."
(audience laughs)
Hey, what the fuck is that?
(audience laughs)
It's a polar bear!
Polar bear up there,
(roars)
"Oh, he's just a little hot, he's alright."
(audience laughs)
Come on, Coca-Cola.
Put you back in the freezer, come on.
(roars)
(audience laughs)
Man, you guys are dope, I'm Nore Davis, man,
thank you so much.
(audience applauds)
Hey, what's up?
- Great set.
- Thank you, thank you, I'm trying, I'm trying.
You look beautiful as always, girlfriend.
- Aww, you're so cute.
- Oh, yeah.
(phone vibration) You know one day I'll be fine.
You know, you'll call me fine.
- Um, I've got to take this, but I'll be right back.
- Okay, cool, I'll get us drinks.
- Thanks.
(eerie gusts)
- (stretched out) God-damn.
(snickers)
You sprung.
- Huh?
- You think you're the main course,
but you ain't nothing but a batch of collard greens.
- Excuse me?
- You're her side-piece.
- Man, you're tripping.
We've been dating for, like, three months, now.
She loves me.
- I'm tripping?
Look at the signs.
She has a tan line on her ring finger, right?
And when you say, "I love you,"
she goes, "oh, that's cute."
(scoffs)
You've probably never been to her damn house.
- No, I've been to her house,
she lives in the cube complex called the Hoxton.
- Oh, that's a damn hotel.
It's on Yelp, everybody knows.
Wake up!
- Hey, cutie.
Where's my drink?
- Hey, yeah, there was a guy,
but there was just an old man screaming at me.
Never mind.
I've got a show in LES, let's head out.
I'll get you drinks over there.
(laid-back piano music) - Okay.
- Alright.
(low-key music)
- [Girlfriend] Why is the Uber so far away?
- No, it's over here, around the corner.
- It should come right to the door, next time.
- Hold up.
You know, I'm glad you came tonight, you know.
- Oh, yeah, you had a great set.
- Aw, thank you, thank you, I appreciate that.
(laughs)
As you know,
I love you.
- Aw, you're so cute.
Oh, my God.
- Alright. - So cute.
- Well, let's take a selfie.
- Oh, no, no, no, that's a horrible angle.
- I can get a better angle.
- No, it's fine.
- Yeah, yeah, look.
- No, it's good. - Boom, right there.
- No, seriously, no, seriously,
I'm serious, stop. No, I don't need it, I don't need it.
- Why do you keep dodging?
- I'm just making sure the Uber can see us.
You ready, it's here.
(relaxed music)
- What's up, man.
(phone vibration)
- I have to take this, but give me a drink, this time?
- Okay, I've got you.
- [Girlfriend] Thanks.
(eerie gusts)
- You just don't get it.
- (quick screech)
How'd you get in so fast? You work here, too?
Don't worry about me.
Look, are you familiar with the Ninja Turtles?
- Yeah.
- [Janitor] Alright, now look,
if she's April, who do you think you are?
- Casey Jones.
- [Janitor] (laughs)
No, you're the Ninja Turtles.
- What? I'm the Ninja Turtles?
- Look, they were going to eat pizza with April,
they would fight the Foot Clan for April,
but then, when she was done, she'd go, "okay, bye,"
and go hang over Casey Jones',
and leave them in the sewer, where the rat was a daddy.
- Oh, the Ninja Turtles were the side-piece.
- [Janitor] The Turtles never met her momma,
they never met her friends.
She used them, used them.
- So, she's April...
- Alright.
- ...and has her Casey Jones...
- [Janitor] Mm-hmm, come on through.
- ...and I'm the Ninja Turtles...
- [Janitor] You've got it.
- ...but I get to be the Ninja Turtles.
- Nope, that-
- [Nore] That's dope, oh shit, yeah.
Leo, Donnie, Raph and Mikey.
Word, that's fire, that's fire, I'm a Ninja Turtle.
- You want to be Casey Jones.
- [Nore] (laughs) No, nobody wants to be Casey Jones.
- This boy don't get it.
- Sorry that call was so long; that was my friend.
- Aw, it's all good, April.
- April? What?
- Yeah, and I'm the Ninja Turtles.
It's cool.
"Cowabunga."
- "Cowabunga"?
- [Announcer] Please welcome,
you guys are going to love him,
give it up for Nore Davis, everybody,
let's go, clap it up.
(audience applauds, cheers)
- We love saving the animals,
adopt a cat, adopt a dog,
insects die immediately.
(audience laughs)
We kill them all.
We overhear their story, it's,
so, what the fuck, it was in my face.
(audience laughs) So, once a fly is in our house, it's,
(whiffing noises)
"kill that motherfuck," it's like,
"he don't, that fly don't know you pay rent."
(audience laughs)
That's why I can't believe in reincarnation, man.
Can you imagine, you come back as a cockroach?
That's it, nobody's going to hear your story.
(audience laughs)
I asked my girlfriend, if I came back as a water bug,
she would say, "you better start talking."
(audience laughs) Ain't going to start talking, I'd be like,
(shrill voice) "no, it's me, it's me, it's me."
(normal voice) "Get the fuck out."
(audience laughs)
(shrill, anguished wail)
The only insects that should die immediately,
are mosquitoes; they all should die.
That's attempted murder, can you imagine,
somebody coming up behind you, just taking your blood?
(audience laughs)
"The fuck is that?"
"Oh, I just, I was just hungry."
(audience laughs)
(light rock music)