my message is you got things that are
broken in your life I'll tell you
exactly why it's because giant
corporations billionaires have seized
our government and for decades now they
have been making that government work
for a thinner and thinner slice at the
top and they do it mostly on the
headlines just a little tilt here just a
little shift there just a little
exception until over time they've gotten
richer and richer and richer and richer
and everybody else is left eating dirt
that is the message blaming others for
your problems is a complete waste of
time
when you do that you don't learn
anything you can't grow and you can't
mature thus you can't make your life
better in my three decades as a
professor and clinical psychologist I've
learned that there are two fundamental
attitudes toward life and its sorrows
those with the first attitude blame the
world you've got things that are broken
in your life I'll tell you exactly why
it's because giant corporations
billionaires have seized our government
those with the second ask what they
could do differently imagine a couple on
the brink of divorce they're hurt and
angry the unhappy bitter husband recalls
the terrible things his wife has done
and the reasons he can no longer live
with her the harried and disillusioned
wife and turn can describe all the ways
her husband let her down each has a long
list of necessary changes for the other
person their prospects for
reconciliation are grim why because
other people aren't the problem you're
the problem you can't change other
people but you can change yourself but
it's difficult it takes courage to
change and it takes discipline it's much
easier and much more gratifying to your
basest desires to blame someone else for
your misery that is
consider the youthful activists making a
statement against the corrupt capitalist
system by smashing in the storefront of
a local business what has he done other
than to bring harm to people who have
nothing to do with his real problems the
guilt doubt and shame he will inevitably
feel in consequence will have to be
suppressed so his beliefs can remain
unchanged and that suppression will do
nothing but foster his anger and
alienation in the play the cocktail
party by American English poet TS Eliot
one of the characters is having a very
hard time of it she speaks of her
profound unhappiness to her psychiatrist
she tells him that she hopes her
suffering is all her own fault taken
aback the psychiatrist asked why because
she tells him if it's her fault she can
do something about it if it's in the
nature of the world however she's doomed
she can't change everything else but she
could change herself now there are
people who seemed to be consigned to a
terrible fate but most of us aren't most
of us have a chance to make our lives
better
but how start small
ask yourself a few questions have you
taken full advantage of the
opportunities offered to you are you
working to your fullest capacity at
school or at work have you in other
words set your own house in order if the
answer is no try this stop doing what
you know to be wrong stop today don't
waste time asking how you know that what
you're doing is wrong inopportune
questioning can confuse without
enlightening and deflect you from action
you can know something is right or wrong
without knowing why start paying
attention do you procrastinate show up
late spend money you don't have and
drink more than you should it's not a
matter of accepting some externally
imposed morality it's a dialogue with
your own conscience what are you doing
that's wrong from your
perspective what could you put right
right now get to work on time stop
interrupting people make peace with your
siblings and your parents diligently
utilize everything you already have at
hand if you do those things your life
will improve you'll become more peaceful
productive and desirable after some days
or weeks or months of attentive effort
your mind will clear your life will
become less tragic and you'll become
more confident you'll start seeing right
from wrong more clearly the path in
front of you will shine more brightly
you'll stop getting in your own way
instead of bringing trouble to yourself
your family and your society you'll be a
positive and reliable force your life
will still be difficult
you'll still suffer that's the price of
being alive but maybe you'll become
strong enough to accept that burden and
in that fashion even come to act nobly
and with purpose the proper way to fix
the world isn't to fix the world
there's no reason to assume that you're
even up to such a task but he can fix
yourself you'll do no one any harm by
doing so and in that manner at least you
will make the world a better place
I'm Jordan Pederson professor of
psychology at the University of Toronto
for Prager University
you