I always believed that if a serial killer tried
to kidnap me, he would be annoyed
and throw me right away because I talk to much.
If the killer is upon you, he's about to kill you.
First thing I'm going to let the killer know is,
"Listen, man. I'm going to follow you on Instagram."
Are you hungry?
You can't kill me. I'm already dead inside.
And then they would probably feel bad for me.
Be like, "Oh, God. So sorry. Do you want to get a sandwich?"
Then I'm going to be like,
"Yo, why don't we take a selfie together?
Boom. I'm about to raise your profile.
I got millions of followers, baby.
I'm about to make you hot in these streets right now."
It's going to be a nightmare in funeral expenses for my parents.
Don't do it.
You have to do something super weird.
You have to blow their mind some kind of way.
I'm a singer, so I was like maybe if I start singing,
they'd be like, "Oh, your voice.
Maybe I can feature you in a song."
I would probably want to figure out
why would you want to kill me? I could do a lot of good,
and maybe I could even help you or even team up with you.
Then I'm going to be like, "Yo, you thought that was
enough. Snapchat."
I would use my personality to either make him love me
and become a court jester and make him laugh
or I would just try to annoy him to the point
where he just got it over with. Thanks.
If he's determined on killing my ass, he's going to kill me.
You know what I'm saying?
So, there's nothing you can say to kind of divvy that down.
What am I going to say?
I'm going to buy you a Prius if you don't kill me?
I'll buy you a Prius.
I'd do a little Marilyn Monroe and see if he was lonely.