>>> WELCOME BACK. IN 2013 MODEL ENTREPRENEUR, AND
LIFESTYLE GURU B. SMITH WAS
DIAGNOSED WITH EARLY ON SET
ALZHEIMER’S.
ALZHEIMER’S. >> SINCE THEN, B. AND HER
HUSBAND DAN HAVE BEEN ADVOCATES
IN THE FIGHT AGAINST THE
DEBILITATING DISEASE.
DEBILITATING DISEASE. >> DAN’S ALSO BEEN B.’S PRIMARY
CAREGIVER.
CAREGIVER. IN DECEMBER HE RECEIVED A LOT OF
CRITICISM WHEN HE ANNOUNCED HE’S
IN A NEW RELATIONSHIP.
>> I’VE KNOWN B. AND DAN FOR
MORE THAN 25 YEARS, AND
YESTERDAY I VISITED WITH THEM
EXCLUSIVELY AT HOME, WHERE I HAD
A VERY CANDID CONVERSATION WITH
DAN, HIS DAUGHTER DANA AND HIS
GIRLFRIEND ALEX.
GIRLFRIEND ALEX. >> THIS IS B. SMITH TODAY LIVING
WITH A DISEASE AFFECTING NEARLY
OF MILLION AMERICANS.
>> WHATEVER YOU DO, JUST DO IT
WITH STYLE.
WITH STYLE. >> THE FORMER FASHION MODEL WAS
KNOWN FOR HER NATIONALLY
SYNDICATED TV SHOW B. SMITH WITH
TILE, RESTAURANTS AND BOOKS, BUT
IN 2013 AT THE AGE OF 64, SHE
WAS DIAGNOSED WITH EARLY ON SET
ALZHEIMER’S.
ALZHEIMER’S. ONE OF THE FIRST VISIBLE SIGNS
HAPPENED RIGHT HERE ON "TODAY."
>> THIS IS WHAT I DO.
IE
IE I MARINATE IT IN REDUCED --
>> BALSAMIC?
>> BALSAMIC? >> NO, NO, NO.
JUST GUESSING.
JUST GUESSING. WAIT, I’M THROWING MYSELF OFF
HERE.
HERE. >> B. AND HER HUSBAND DAN GASBY
BEGAN SHARING THEIR STORY TO
HELP OTHERS.
HELP OTHERS. AS HER ILLNESS PROGRESSED DAN
HAS REMAINED BY HER SIDE.
>> WHEN I WALKED OUT TO HER, FOR
A MOMENT I THOUGHT SHE
RECOGNIZED ME.
RECOGNIZED ME. SHE HAD THIS OH, IT’S SO GOOD --
AND I KNOW SHE DOESN’T KNOW ME.
DOES SHE STILL KNOW YOU?
>> SHE HAS CALLED ME DAN.
SHE HAS CALLED ME DAD.
SHE HAS CALLED ME ONE OF HER
THREE BROTHERS, GARY OR RON OR
DENNIS.
DENNIS. SHE’S EVEN CALLED ME, YOU KNOW,
SHE’S CALLED ME BISHOP, OUR DOG,
SO THERE ARE MOMENTS OF
LUCIDITY.
LUCIDITY. >> HOW DIFFICULT WAS IT TO
ACCEPT THIS DIAGNOSIS?
>> IT WAS LIKE CHEWING GLASS.
MY DAUGHTER FIRST RECOGNIZED
THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG IN
2008, BUT I DIDN’T SEE IT.
>> WHAT WAS B’S REACTION?
>> SHE SAID TO ME ONE DAY, DAN,
I FEEL BROKEN.
I FEEL BROKEN LIKE THERE’S
SOMETHING NOT RIGHT, AND THEN I
STARTED TO NOTICE THINGS WERE
BECOMING MORE REPETITIVE.
I HAD AN INKLING, I WOULDN’T
BELIEVE THAT IT COULD BE
SOMETHING AS DEVASTATING, AS
CATASTROPHIC AS ALZHEIMER’S.
>> OVER THE YEARS, DAN SAYS HE
BECAME INCREASINGLY DEPRESSED
AND LONELY AS HE CONTINUED TO
CARE FOR B. UNTIL HE MET ALEX
LERNOR.
LERNOR. >> TAKING CARE OF SOMEONE LIKE
B., BEING IN A ROOM, EVEN HAVING
SOMEONE WHO IS TAKING CARE OF
HER PERIODICALLY, YOU STILL HAVE
THE BURDEN, THE WEIGHT OF EVERY
MINUTE OF THE DAY IS A BLANKET
ON YOU, AND SHE WAS FUNNY.
SHE WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT
THING, SHE WAS KIND, AND WE
BECAME FRIENDS, AND THAT
FRIENDSHIP GOT CLOSER AND
CLOSER.
CLOSER. >> DAN HAS THIS COMMITMENT TO B.
DID THAT GIVE YOU PAUSE BEFORE
ENTERING INTO THIS?
>> YES, YES IT DID, BUT AFTER A
WHILE I UNDERSTOOD OR IT SEEMED
TO ME, YOU KNOW, AS IF I HAD MET
A MAN WHO HAS A CHILD IN A SENSE
THAT B. IS NOW VERY CHILD LIKE,
AND HIS RESPONSIBILITIES ARE
ALMOST THOSE OF A SINGLE FATHER.
LIKE, REALLY BEING THERE 24/7
TAKING CARE OF EVERY AND ALL OF
HER NEEDS.
HER NEEDS. >> HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR
RELATIONSHIP WITH B?
>> WE FIND WAYS TO LAUGH
TOGETHER AND FIND JOY, YOU KNOW,
IN TAKING WALKS OR DOING THINGS
TOGETHER.
TOGETHER. I WOULD ALMOST SAY THAT IT’S
LIKE SISTERS.
LIKE SISTERS. IT’S A VERY SWEET FEELING.
>> TWO MONTHS AGO, DAN POSTED
ABOUT HIS NEW RELATIONSHIP WITH
ALEX ON SOCIAL MEDIA RESULTING
IN CRITICISM AND CONVERSATION
ABOUT MARRIAGE AND RACE.
>> THE 800 POUND GORILLA IN THIS
SITUATION IS SHE’S WHITE.
OKAY?
OKAY? THAT’S THE 800 POUND GORILLA.
>> YOU FEEL THAT --
>> IN OTHER WORDS, IF ALEX WERE
BLACK, YOU DON’T THINK --
>> NO, NOT AT ALL.
I’M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE
CONSTRICTED TO SOMEBODY BECAUSE
OF THEIR RACE.
>> WHAT DO YOU SAY TO PEOPLE WHO
SAY, OKAY, GO AHEAD AND HAVE
YOUR LIFE.
YOUR LIFE. HAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP, BUT WHY
DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO PUBLIC
ABOUT IT?
ABOUT IT? >> BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT BARBARA
ASKED ME TO DO TO TALK ABOUT IT.
IT SPUN OUT OF CONTROL TO I’M
HAVING AN AFFAIR.
THIS WOMAN, BECAUSE OF WHO SHE
IS, IS TAKING B’S MONEY.
WE’RE ABUSING B.
B WOULDN’T WANT THIS.
THESE PEOPLE HAVE NEVER EVEN
TALKED TO B.
>> AND SEEING HER, YOU KNOW,
SHE’S STILL, I MEAN, AT 69, EVEN
IN THE ADVANCED STAGES OF THIS
DISEASE, STILL IS INCREDIBLY
STYLISH, WARM WOMAN.
>> IT EMANATES FROM WITHIN.
HER SPIRIT, HER SOUL.
AND I GET HEAT BECAUSE I DON’T
PUT MAKEUP ON HER LIKE SHE NEEDS
MAKEUP.
MAKEUP. SO YOU UNDERSTAND NO MATTER WHAT
YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE IN THE PUBLIC
EYE, THERE’S ALWAYS SOMEONE
FINDING FAULT OR CRITICIZING OR
JUDGING OR MAKING STATEMENTS
THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE
REALITY OF THE SITUATION.
>> DOES IT HURT?
>> IT DOES HURT.
I RESPECT HER AND I WANT HER TO
BE WELL AND FEEL GOOD AND
HAVE -- AND HAVE LOVE IN HER
LIFE, AND WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER I
FEEL THERE IS A LOT OF LOVE
AROUND US.
AROUND US. >> DAN’S DAUGHTER DANA ALSO
HELPS TAKE CARE OF B.
>> MY DAD WAS REALLY TAKING ON A
LOT OF THE WORK, AND I JUST FELT
LIKE IT WAS, YOU KNOW, BARBARA
RAISED ME, AND I HAD JUST LOST
MY MOM.
MY MOM. I JUST FELT THAT IT WAS REALLY
IMPORTANT FOR ME TO, YOU KNOW,
BE AROUND BARBARA.
>> YOUR DAD DISCOVERS ALEX.
>> MM-HMM.
>> MM-HMM. >> HOW’D YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
>> I MEAN, WHY SHOULDN’T MY DAD
HAVE COMPANIONSHIP.
HAVE COMPANIONSHIP. WHY SHOULDN’T HE HAVE SOMEONE TO
TALK TO.
TALK TO. FOR THE FIRST FEW YEARS IT WAS
JUST ME AND HIM.
IT’S HARD.
IT’S HARD. I’M NOT HIS WIFE.
I’M HIS DAUGHTER.
I CAN’T GIVE HIM THE SUPPORT
THAT A GIRLFRIEND, A FRIEND, YOU
KNOW, A COMPANION CAN GIVE.
>> YOU’RE HAPPY FOR THEM?
>> I AM BEYOND HAPPY FOR THEM.
I’M MORE PISSED AT THE PEOPLE
COMPLAINING ABOUT THEM.
WHEN I HEAR OTHER PEOPLE SAY,
OH, I’M HER FRIEND.
YOU’VE NEVER CALLED.
YOU NEVER CAME TO MY HOUSE.
YOU DON’T ASK HOW SHE’S DOING.
YOU GO ON YOUR TV AND HAVE A
PLATFORM TO BASH MY FAMILY, BUT
YOU DIDN’T PICK UP THE PHONE TO
CALL HIM TO SEE WHAT HE’S DOING
BECAUSE IT’S A HOT TOPIC BECAUSE
IT’S TRENDING.
IT’S TRENDING. MY LIFE, MY FAMILY, MY STEPMOM
ISN’T A TRENDING TOPIC.
MY STEPMOM IS DYING, PLAIN AND
SIMPLE.
SIMPLE. >> WHAT DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO
KNOW OUT OF ALL OF THIS?
>> I WANT PEOPLE TO KNOW THAT WE
ARE IN A VERY CARING AND LOVING
RELATIONSHIP WITH B.
HAVING MET DAN, I KNEW THAT
THERE WOULD BE NO DAN WITHOUT B.
WE’D MAKE SURE THAT, YOU KNOW,
SHE HAS THE BEST CARE POSSIBLE.
IT IS ALSO -- IT HAS OPENED A
MUCH LARGER CONVERSATION THAT WE
ALL NEED TO HAVE, YOU KNOW, THAT
IS UNCOMFORTABLE.
IS UNCOMFORTABLE. >> THE LONGER WE LIVE THE MORE
THINGS CAN AND WILL GO WRONG,
AND YOU’RE GOING TO NEED
SOMEBODY TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.
>> OH, MAN.
>> IT’S A CHARGED TOPIC, BUT I
THINK THAT PEOPLE NEED TO LOOK
AT THIS A LITTLE MORE
OBJECTIVELY.
OBJECTIVELY. >> THAT -- FIRST OF ALL, THAT
WAS -- THE STORY, THE PIECE
ITSELF, MR. ROKER, WELL, I KNOW
HOW HARD THAT WAS FOR YOU.
I KNOW THEY’RE FRIENDS OF YOURS,
BUT THAT JUST REVEALED TO ME SO
MUCH ABOUT -- I MEAN, THAT WAS A
CONVERSATION ABOUT RACE.
IT WAS A CONVERSATION ABOUT
LONG-TERM CARE.
LONG-TERM CARE. IT WAS A CONVERSATION ABOUT
LOVE.
LOVE. AND AT THE END TO HEAR HER
DAUGHTER SAY, YOU KNOW, YOU
PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT HER AND
YOU HAVEN’T PICKED UP THE PHONE.
THAT WAS -- BUT IT’S ALSO AT THE
END OF IT, YOU WATCH, AND I
DON’T KNOW --
>> HOW YOU FEEL.
>> I THINK PEOPLE HAVE TO MAKE
THEIR OWN LIFE, AND THEY HAVE TO
LIVE THAT THEMSELVES, AND I KNOW
MARIA, YOU KNOW THEM BOTH ALSO.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. I’VE BEEN AN ADVOCATE OBVIOUSLY
WITH ALZHEIMER’S FOR THE PAST 15
YEARS, AND THEY’VE BEEN OUT
THERE ALL OVER THE COUNTRY
BRINGING ATTENTION TO THIS
ISSUE, ADVOCATING PARTICULARLY
IN THE AFRICAN-AMERICAN
COMMUNITY, WHICH IS TWICE AS
LIKELY TO GET ALZHEIMER’S, AND
SO THEY’RE VERY BIG IN THIS
SPACE, AND I THINK AS I SAID TO
AL LAST NIGHT, THERE ARE ALL
KINDS OF PEOPLE SUFFERING AS
CAREGIVERS.
CAREGIVERS. IT IS HEROIC WORK, 24/7.
THEY GET SICK, THEY GET
DEPRESSED.
DEPRESSED. DAN WAS TELLING ME A COUPLE OF
MONTHS AGO HE’D GAINED 30
POUNDS.
POUNDS. HE HAD BEEN DRINKING, AND THIS
WOMAN CAME IN AND GAVE HIM HOPE,
AND CHANGED HIS LIFE.