Hellooo, everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome back to the try not to laugh challenge.
I've got some potentially funny videos here, that I may or may not laugh at.
But I am an IRON WILL!
I'm a locked door of emotions, nothing can get out of me.
No joy, no laughter,
everything is trapped inside where it can fester and lay low.
Until it explodes out,
or I'm a giggly bitch.
One of the two.
It's either one.
I've got brand new shirts available,
they're a holographic Markiplier logo print,
they're available in both big and small, white and black,
you can go to markiplier.com and check those out right now.
LETSDOTHIS
letsdothis-
Try to make me laugh. Just try, try to- try to not laugh, out there. If you guys don't laugh, then you have to punish yourselves.
I can't punish you exactly, you gotta figure that out for your own.
Anyway movin' on.
"I figured out a way to, um, record without any hands,"
"You do have to be a boy though,"
"I'll figure out something for the girls in a little bit."
*Mark snorts because he's a giggly bitch*
That's not funny. That's not funny.
*pumping noises*
[Heroic music]
I love the ingenuity, but I don't like where it's goin'.
(Scarface accent) "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND"
*slightly fartish trumpet noise*
I can appreciate the ingenuity behind it, but god damn,
nOt FUnNy.
"I've opened quite a few doors in my day,"
Mark: Okay.
"So I did what I'd always done before."
Mark: Alright.
"I took hold of the doorknob..."
Mark: Okay.
*BOOF noise*
*slam*
*Snickers* (Giggly bitch, I tell you.)
*Mark laughs silently and dies on the inside*
*Composes himself* Mmmh..
Not funny.
"Hey, everyone! In case you're were wondering why I haven't been posting a lot lately,"
"it's because I'm actually uh.. trapped inside this egg here."
"So, uh..."
"just hang tight guys!"
"I'll try and post something soon, okay?"
That's... not... funny?
It's not even clever.
That's not funny.
Whyyy... am I even close to laughing?
I'm not! *Lying to himself.*
Which is the answer to that question!
[Knocks knocks knockity]
[Wooshing noise in background]
Hey Josh, look at this huge moth that I found.
Josh: Get that shit outta here!
Oh there it goes!
Josh: You f****r.
Isn't that cool?
Josh: Yeah, that's cool! Get it outta here man!
Not funny, not funny.
Not funny.
This one's called: How To Be A Moth ..
(door opening)
*confused*
[Glass shatters]
*gagging on a laugh*
[sounds of a duck slowly dying]
Not funny.
Man: How do I relax?
Well. Like many other Americans, I come home, and I-I pet my dog.
You see, petting the dog - [dog loses it] -is one of the most relaxing things you can possibly do.
It releases a hormone called "Oxytocin." [rat-dog continues to go psycho]
Which reduces stress.
Also, it lowers your heart rate, and it lowers your blood pressure.
[Mark pants to stop from laughing]
Ahhhh
That was so funny.
I don't think I laughed, I, probably- I might have laughed, I might've..
I- this is not- this is not gonna go good.
*Jump Around by House of Pain*
*Doggo scream that matches the music*
*GigglePlier has broken through*
*S U C C*
*Grunts*
*VIDEO REPLAYS*
*giggles while crying*
*INHALES THROUGH TEETH*
AHHH
NOOO!
Man: SURPRISSSSEEEE!
Nan! We got you, we got you a scooter, that you've been saving up-
Nan: Oh you guyss-
Oh awwww Nan awww Nan-
Watch the- Nan- WATCH THE ROAD- Nan- Nana- Watch the road- *Mark snorts*
What happened to Nan?! Is Nan okay?!?!
*Soothing music plays*
*Mark chuckling*
*Laughing*
Damn it! Damn it!
I'm still trying. I don't know why!
*Roundabout plays*
*Mark starts giggling, then laughing again*
Oh, god...
*Chuckles* Ow. My abs...
Boy 1: Ey?
*Man mumble something about the lights*
Boy 1: What the fook-
Boy 2: You got a BIRD bro!
Boy 1: You walkin a fookin ostrich ya daft cunt?
*laughing*
Man: ITS A FOOKIN' EMU you-!!!
*people in video CRACK UP laughing*
Boy 1: It's an EMU!
*Mark and Boy 1 laughs*
Boy 1: Let's have a look at it...
Man: It's a fucking EMU man....
Boy 1: She's a beaut isn't she?
Man: It's an HE.
Boy 1: Oh is it?
His name's JUÁREZ!
Boy 1: You're fucked up, you...
HE'S AN ASSHOLE!
Boy 1: You're fucked up, you.
Man: Fuck off!
*laughter*
Ahhehh *imitates Emu Man's voice* "IT'S AN EMU!"
*Laughs*
Does that guy just have permanent drunk voice?
Is that what it is?
Like you've been at a bar for about three hours
and you've been shouting to your friend that you can't hear.
So that is the end of the Try Not To Laugh Challenge!
I unfortunately failed.
Some of you did, but a lot of you succeeded.
So thank you everybody so much for watching.
If you want to just try a little bit more of not laughing,
I'll provide a link in the description to an article that always makes me laugh.
It's from 2010 and it's called "Worst Life Ever: the Story of Kazuyuki Fujita's Skull".
It's an incredible read and even if you're thinking like "Oh an article, that can't be that funny" try it!
Trust me, try to not laugh at this article.
It's in the description and also for anybody that won one of these shirts during the giveaway
I unfortunately can't send you a message.
YouTube changed up their system, and I can't engage people
unless their About section is set up.
So if you won...
I have a list of every channel that won in the giveaway
If you won, go to your YouTube channel and set up your About section,
Then I can send you a message.
For some reason that's the only way to do it.
I don't know YouTube changes a bunch of stuff.
I've been talking to them all week long, trying to get this solved.
And they are not helpful.
So if you guys can please do that I will get that stuff to you as soon as possible.
And I am back and in the full swing of things and making videos. I'm doing videos every day at noon,
Pacific Standard Time, and I'm doing some live streams at 8 a.m.
I'll also have some gaming content here and there, it's gonna be a fun time
and a lot of cool stuff is on the way!
But I'm back in the regular swing of things so if you want to see me
I'm gonna do a live stream tomorrow at 8 a.m.
Pacific Standard Time and videos at noon.
Thank you everybody so much for watching and as always,
I will see YOU in the next video.
Buh-bye!